I made a list of the consequences I have experienced through the years as a result of my skin picking. As part of a 12 step program I am really supposed to read these aloud to a real person, but I thought I could start out by sharing the list with the forum:
1. I have blood stains on tee shirts from picking acne on my body to the point of bleeding.
2. I have wasted hours of my life, either picking my skin in front of the bathroom mirror or in my bedroom
3. I consistently feel self conscious or disappointed in my behavior when I undress and notice the excessive scaring all over my body
4. I rarely wear tank tops or spaghetti strap dresses
5. I feel embarrassed at formal events or weddings when I wear dresses that show my back or chest
6. I have had friends and boyfriends ask about my scars and have felt awkward and hypersensitive about the situation
7. Over the years, the picking and resulting scaring has spread to more parts of my body.
8. When I was 15, I was visiting a relative who noticed me picking my face in the mirror and told other family members about it. I felt embarrassed.
9. I generally feel like my disorder limits my freedom. I don't allow myself to wear what I want and I often feel like a prisoner to my skin
10.I don't allow myself to feel beautiful or accepted because I view my scars as an unsightly flaw
11. I often feel a lack of control over my body and my actions
Thank you for reading my list. Making the list was a good exercise in understanding how much of my life and self esteem are affected by my picking and scars. Any insights or comments are appreciated!