Picking Related to Cancer

Posted July 21st, 2010 by heavymetalfan
Hi all, I'm new to the site and ought to introduce myself. I'm a 23 year-old female from, just finished my Bachelor's degree in January in Geographic Info Systems. I just worked for the census hope to start grad school next year, but picking has kinda stopped me dead in my tracks here :( I started picking around the 5th grade. Since then, more often than not than not, there has been an open sore on my body. I always have chosen spots that are easily concealed (scalp, inside my ears) except in high school when I took over my face... at that point I had to drop out. After getting it somewhat under control, I went to a community college, and ended up transferring to a 4-year school, the school I just graduated from. There have been periods of up to 2-3 years where I've gone without picking, and even with psychiatic, psyhological, and dermatological help, the problem has always come back... until June 30th. While my lymph nodes in my neck have gotten larger in the past due to sores, the one on the left side of my neck swelled up practically overnight. I had been losing weight 1-2 pounds per week over 3 months of eating healthy and excercising, but despite that I had the wound in my ear I kept mercilessly picking at day in and day out. The swelling became unbearable, and I forced myself to a)not touch the wound and b)clean it and put neosporin on it 2 times daily... the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Then all my lymph nodes began to swell- never had that happen before, fatigue, night sweats, enlarged spleen, and in the 2nd week I developed a hard time swallowing and lots of saliva and a little bit of milky mucus developing in the back of my throat. I assume that's related to the nodes near my thyroid getting inflamed, but I really don't know. I'm scared. I've been to urgent care once, the ER once, and my primary three times so far. My blood tests have all come back normal, with the exception of my platelet volume being low. No mono, (clearly) no HIV, no Lyme, but... no answers! I am alarmed that I have given myself lymphoma of some sort... with the forced rapidness of cell division over many years, I think it's reasonable to think that cancer may be the culprit! Anyone else have any similar stories about lymph nodes? Any help will be MORE than appreciated! I saw someone in the last thread I replied to had a similar story and I hope she replies, but if not I really could use some advice or shared experiences related to skin picking, lymph nodes, and possible cancer :(
‹ Does anyone who skin picks, suffer from anxiety? I have a severe scalp picking problem, I can't stop! Please respond ›
On August 16th, 2010 Stormyseas1970 said:
BUT you know, even for all of us; as far as Cancer, we are putting ourselves more at risk my dentist told me that about me chewing my inside of my mouth. So I would assume anywhere else would be no different. I think the major problem with pickers is they get infected, red streaks, etc., THEN yes time to go to the doc and get antibiotics (which I have unfortunately). Damn this "disease" we have.
On August 16th, 2010 Stormyseas1970 said:
Well, I know a lot about Lymphoma unfortunately as my mom has had it 3 times. No, normally when your lymph nodes swell, you are fighting some sort of infection. Lymphoma are tumors that develop on the lymph nodes which are ALL over your body, groin, tummy, chest, etc., and they do not hurt - most you can't even see unless it's like on your chest etc. and they are kinda hard feeling, not "cysty" feeling. OH And my mom has NEVER EVER been a picker. If you start running fever, fatigue, etc., then you may want to have further testing etc.
On August 16th, 2010 heavymetalfan said:
I'm sorry to hear about your mom :( I can't imagine how difficult that must be having it so many times. What type does she have and how far along into it did she originally get diagnosed, if you don't mind me asking? Unfortunately I have painless, and very large (greater than 1 inch) nodes that are englarged all the way from under my left jaw to the base of my neck, as well as ones in my groin and to a lesser extent my armpit. The thing that I fear the most is the lack of pain. And since all my blood tests for mono, hiv, lyme's, strep, and several other bacteria have come back negative, I am worried. Also, I've had severe chest pain with nothing apparently wrong with my heart, which I heard is often due to the swollen thymus gland associated w/lymphoma. I am still barely able to get out of bed every day, my spleen and liver are very swollen, run a low-grade fever often, blah blah blah. But I hope I can get a biopsy before the end of the month since my insurance runs out by September. My primary care Dr. is getting a bit concerned too which is also a worry. I will be sure to keep you all updated as I find out more!
On August 14th, 2010 mike2000 said:
forgive me for repeating myself ... but just as i posted for sls in the other topic you posted to .... i must say again ..... omg ... i wish you luck ... i wish you strength ... i wish you determination ... i wish you compassionate doctors ... i wish you effective therapy ... i wish you a speedy recovery ... all the best to you! <3 <3 <3 .... i hope you're wrong about thinking it's cancer ... i hope you find answers and effective help and recover completely ... please keep us up to date
On August 16th, 2010 heavymetalfan said:
Thank you very much :) I wish everyone in this forum luck with stopping the picking. I have and while my health issues are frustrating beyond belief, I feel liberated from the need to pick like I used to. Whatever my outcome, I hope this encourages everyone who's reading this to break the habit!
On August 14th, 2010 wildflower said:
i'm sure mike2000 meant to precede his post with ..." i agree with wildflower's sentiments" ....
On July 27th, 2010 Dharmagrl said:
Im so sorry this is happening to you,hang in their!
On July 23rd, 2010 foreverthere said:
Now Im scared. After reading this I realized the swelling in the left side of my neck was. I've had three different times this yea alone, in fact, I had this week. Its now gone though. But I've also experienced some weight loss recently that I just thought was from working out twice a week and not eating as much. But I did lose 8 pounds in a matter of a few days which does not add up to everything Im doing. I looked up lymph nodes and cancer, and now I feel worse about my csp. Thanks for helping with information I would have never found.
On July 23rd, 2010 heavymetalfan said:
I wouldn't worry, forever there, unless you had some of the more serious symptoms - night sweats, extreme fatigue for weeks to months, low grade fever, swollen spleen, etc. I do, however, hope I've scared you at least enough to stop picking, though :) I've actually had swollen lymph nodes at certain times throughout the years but without these extra (and scary) symptoms.
On July 30th, 2010 foreverthere said:
Well, Im still freaking out because I looked some stuff up and lymphoma came up. And some on the symptoms, I actually have had. I mean, I defiantly don't know that I have it, or if picking is the cause. Just some stuff maybe everyone should look into..
On July 30th, 2010 heavymetalfan said:
The thing is that swollen lymph nodes don't mean you have cancer. Your blood/lymphatic system often causes symptoms (swollen lymph nodes, extreme fatige, fever) that could mean anything from a bacterial, viral, fungal infection to autoimmune diseases (sarcoid, rhumatoid arthritis), thyroid problems, or on the worse end, leukemia, lymphoma, or other kinds of cancer. When your lymph nodes swell up is just your body's way of letting you know that something sketchy is up. Just to update, I don't think I have cancer now, but I suspect acute cytomegalovirus mononucleosis (the monospot test wouldn't have detected it because it's another, rarer virus that causes mono) or toxoplasmosis. And I have developed a terrible new symptom: stabbing chest pain and heart palpitations, which I think is myocarditis (infection and inflammation of the heart). Since I suspect it's a virus, there's nothing I can really do except for take 800mg ibuprofen daily and wait it out. Unfortunately it can cause hardening of the arteries (arteriosclerosis) and potentially heart failure, which could mean my days of running and heavy exercise may be over :( I will continue to have the Dr. monitor my heart behavior to see what lies in store for my future. All this makes me blame myself more for my picking, because CMV infects about 50-80% of Americans, but most ppl don't know they even have it because they show no symptoms. I probably comprimised my immune system by picking and set myself up for this ordeal. I continue to hope this discourages others from the horrible habit of picking.
On July 22nd, 2010 dragonlady23 said:
Hi. This is my first time on the forum. I'm 30 and have been picking since... jeez, I think I was 7 years old. Anyway, the year I finished my Bachelor's degree, I had a bunch of ingrown hairs on my legs that I picked (my legs are my favorite place to pick at and are consequently covered in white, blotchy scars) and i developed a staph infection. My legs broke out in these HUGE gross boils that produced this yellow-green pus upon squeezing, which, despite this being 8 years ago, I can still remember vividly. I would eat it.... it tasted good... writing this feels incredible, but simultaneously disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself for this. A particularly large boil developed on my right leg near my knee and my whole leg became swollen all the way up to my lymph nodes in my groin. I had a fever and still didin't go to the doctor, probably because I was embarressed. Eventually, I picked at this boil to the point where it started to bleed profusely so I squeezed it and it was like a splatter movie. Man, you should have seen the blood, chunks and plasma that came shooting and oozing out of my leg. I watched the swelling go down. I now have a huge scar and have nerve damage near my knee because of this. My point being that you may not have C, just a terrible infection like staph or something. I hope that you can find an answer and start healing. My thoughts are with you.
On July 23rd, 2010 heavymetalfan said:
I completely understand what you mean about being thrilled yet disgusted thinking about it. Since it releases endorphins and you don't really have control over that the thrill of it makes sense, but objectively it seems to make no sense and is really, really gross. If you never had dermatillomania you wouldn't be able to relate and very well might think someone with it is a psycho. Running for me was something that took off the edge and also released endorphins, and I found that it actually reduced the amount of skin picking I did. Unfortunately, I know I don't have strep. I also question if my weight loss (intentional) may have affected my thyroid, although my test results for my thyroid came back normal. We'll hopefully see with time, though, and I really appreciate the support from you guys! I wish the best of luck to you all too :)
On July 21st, 2010 wildflower said:
forgive me for repeating myself ... but just as i posted for sls in the other topic you posted to .... i must say again ..... omg ... i wish you luck ... i wish you strength ... i wish you determination ... i wish you compassionate doctors ... i wish you effective therapy ... i wish you a speedy recovery ... all the best to you! <3 <3 <3 .... i hope you're wrong about thinking it's cancer ... i hope you find answers and effective help and recover completely ... please keep us up to date ....
On August 24th, 2010 momto3girls said:
I just had to have a lymph node removed from the left side of my neck ---- it had swollen up almost overnight and was rock hard, my ENT did a scan and due to the size and location said it had to come out. It wasn't cancerous or anything - they call them "reactive lymph nodes" when they swell up for no apparent reason. (they try a hugh dosage of antibiotics to shrink it prior to opting for surgery, BTW) Hope you are recovering and feeling better!
On August 27th, 2010 heavymetalfan said:
I'm glad to hear some lymph nodes that swell up aren't cancerous :) My main concern is that I have all these other symptoms- night sweats, fatigue, chest pain, etc. - that are considered "B Symptoms" of lymphoma and also leave those with it with a bad prognosis off the bat. My ENT would have done a biopsy or scan but unfortunately my insurance runs out at the end of the month (Tuesday) and now there's no time. I have to wait until I can get on the state plan. I'm getting beyond frustrated, not only because I haven't been able to work in over two months, but also because I've been living this whole time not knowing what is going on with my body. Thinking it may be cancer just makes me cry on a daily basis, since I have been mistreated by a couple doctors already (one suggesting on numerous occasions that I had been raped, nothing was wrong with me, and that my spleen and liver weren't swollen, that I should just start exercising to get rid of stress... as if I'm even physically capable of doing much more than walking across the room! The next Dr. I saw right afterward said my spleen and liver WERE in fact swollen, and that if I were to exercise I could easily rupture my spleen- NOT good!) It's been hell, but I hope with my new insurance plan comes a new road to recovery. All you can do for sanity's sake at this point is to stay optimistic.
On August 28th, 2010 Popcorn47 said:
Usually if you tell your doctor you only have insurance through the end of August he'll find a way to fit you in especially for something this crucial. Appeal to him, seriously honey, push if you got to and make the desperation of your situation loud and clear, that he's your last hope to get this diagnosed before or even if you can get any other insurance. He wants to get paid to and knows this is a way. Try calling again sweetie, and make it work. For what it's worth, I have a swollen upper abdoment as well, and I've never had swelling there (feels more like bloating than it does like fat),,, and tender and sore areas. I'm also dealing with some other issues so I'm getting an EKG and blood work every five days while they're looking for something else, but it does keep me in the loop. Fight for your right and make your doc the knight in shiny armour by appealing to his ego to help you. Do what you must or you'll drive yourself crazy with anxiety, and thus more picking, and thus more fear of disease, if you don't get some answers.
For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.