Woman, Mother, Wife, Nurse, PICKER!!!!
Posted August 4th, 2010 by rattiemamma
I have been picking as long as I can remember. I pick my nose, scabs (on: scalp, arms, stomach, legs, butt. feet, back, rarely face, and groin), and zits, and chew on/bite my nails/fingers and yes eat what ever I get. GROSS!!! I know. But I CAN'T STOP. From the time I was a young child I always remember doing these things. I think it started out just with the nose, but has expanded over the years. I am 32 years old now, I am a nurse working full time, I have been married for 14 years, and I have 2 kids. Why can't I stop picking. This is an obsession. I hate my body, I'm over weight and on top of that have all these unsightly sores and scabs that I have given myself. Why do I do this to myself. I was never physically abused as a child. While my childhood may not have been perfect, has anyone's? My life has always been average. Except for picking. I have never admitted to this my "DEEP DARK SECRET". It has never been spoken of by me or anyone who knows me. Once in our first year or two of marriage in an argument my husband said "you look like you've been in a war" don't remember what happen after that but I'v never forgot those words. He has never again came even close to mentioning it.He must know that I do this to myself. Often there are small blood stains on my side of the bed. Damn-it why do I do this. I just want to be "normal" I WISH I COULD FEEL SEXY be sexy for my husband, for myself. But how can I. I'm so ashamed.