feeling out of control

Posted September 19th, 2010 by DMT7181

Hi. I am new to this site. I am glad I found it. I have had a picking problem since around 2002. Around that time I was dating someone really abusive who used to pick my face. (the pores) Then I started doing it.... As of today it seems like it is out of control. I pick my face and body. I can stand in front of the mirror for an hour and not realize that an hour has passed. I mostly pick at pores. Sometimes nothing will be left and Im still picking at it til liquid comes out or my face turns bloody. It is taking a huge effect on my relationship. We fight every single day because of it. Im tired of getting yelled at. I know its out of concern but it makes my anxiety worse. Im almost losing feeling in my face. My arms and back look terrible. No amount of make up is hiding it either. I even pick at my cuticles. Its about anything I see that looks off on my body I have to pick it. Even the tiniest little bump on my skin I have to pick at. I am afraid one day I will look seriously deformed or will get some sort of infection. I wish I had health insurance. I feel like I need help desperately.

On September 21st, 2010 To30 said:

I understand what you are going through. When I get out of control, I tend to cut my fingernails as punishment. I have also started putting on lotion. Doing little things like lotion help me distract myself. I also tend to just pat the area I'm obsessing over. It's kinda like getting a mosquito bite and deciding not to scratch. Anyway, I'm 27 AND JUST put two and two together. I keep telling people that I'm "giving myself" acne and no one believes me! I also go into trances and lose track of time. I've never understood it, but have been doing it since junior high. I know. And I really can't explain where it comes from either or how I even got started. This is such a great group. I'm so happy we're all here...

On September 21st, 2010 DMT7181 said:

Hi. I just started cutting my nails real short too. But for some reason it is not helping. I realized this morning that as soon as I wake up I start to pick. Damn I just noticed Im doing it now. Its horrible. This feels like an addiction worse than cigarettes. I used to be a smoker too for 13 years. I haven't smoked in 3 years. I was a chain smoker at times too. This picking feels worse. The damage done to my face is terrible. I scare myself when I look in the mirror now. Im always worried that someone is going to say something how horrible my face looks. I have to put a ton of makeup on before I leave the house. I have a wedding to go to less than a week and im worried how my face will look by then. Im glad for this support group too. I had no idea that a lot of other people have this terrible problem as well. This is such a horrible disorder.

On September 21st, 2010 username said:

I'm new to this site too, actually my boyfriend found it when he was looking up lip picking, he's been trying to get me to get help. I pick at the dead skin on my lips non-stop, literally non stop, they feel chapped all the time and it drives me crazy, so I feel like I have to get rid of the dead skin. I have acne too, it's gotten better over the years but every time I see a pimple or bump I get the urge to get rid of it, I feel like I can't be pretty unless they're all gone, which is ironic because by the time I get done "picking" I feel horribly ugly, my face gets all swollen and red, I actually hide my face from my boyfriend until the redness and swelling goes away. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but am planning on going this week. I know its tough when you don't have insurance I wish I could help you with that, but about all I can do is tell you that you're not alone, and if you want to talk let me know. -D

On September 21st, 2010 DMT7181 said:

I do the same exact thing with my partner. I hide my face hoping the swelling will go down. But I end up getting caught and yelled at anyway..

On September 20th, 2010 mcmandy65 said:

I understand your problem completely. I have been picking since I was 16, which incidentally was also 2002. I used to pick my back, arms, shoulders, and face, but now I only pick my shoulders. I am much better than I once was, but it has been a rollercoaster. I've tried just about everything, but here is what has worked best for me: 1. Figuring out what fuels my habit. For me, I pick because I want to be perfect. The kicker is I am actually making myself uglier, not prettier. I have to say this to myself on a daily basis. 2. Finding something else to do. Sometimes I just need to be "busy" to relieve stress, and for some reason, I also have a strong urge to "be clean." If I really have the urge to pick, I will first try cleaning my house. If I can't concentrate on that, I will take a bath and scrub my skin hard with a loofa. I realize this isn't the best practice from a dermatology standpoint, but it is better than making scars. 3. Talking to someone. I have recently become very open with my problem to my sister. She has given me a lot of support and helps me to realize when I am picking unconsciously. 4. Use a clay mask. I buy a clay mask by Queen Helene that I put over the areas I am most likely to pick. It dries, and I sometimes even leave it on under my clothes throughout the day. This way, I would have to go wash the mask off before I could pick anything, which I can't really do if I am not home. Best of luck to you. Mandy of www.livingwithcsp.com

On September 20th, 2010 DMT7181 said:

Thanks for responding and your advice. I notice when I am in the shower as well, I am also picking. I just started today putting bandages on my fingers. Im trying so hard. Its actually giving me a lot of anxiety with the bandages. I feel if I don't have them on though I will start attacking my face again. I will try to see how a clay mask goes. Thanks again.

For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.