21-Day Challenge

Posted September 20th, 2010 by bottervliegie

Hi everyone! I hate how I feel about myself and I hate how my skin looks when all I really want is smooth and beautiful skin. I figure that we've got this absolute desire to be beautiful and have perfect skin while spots, blackheads, coarse cuticles, ingrown hairs, etc. is not welcome on beautiful skin. So, a combination of this perfectionism, impulse and, well, addiction, makes us scar ourselves and also hate ourselves for doing so. .................................................................................................................................................... Now, here's my challenge: You've probably heard that it takes 21 days to combat and quit a bad habit. I am going to try and do it with skin picking. I have posted post-its on all my mirrors and usual picking spots in the house with just "DAY 1" to remind me of what I am up against. I will change this daily, but if I falter, I have to start back at day 1. .................................................................................................................................................... I really want to change my life and be free of this and I am going to take the bull by the horns... WHO'S WITH ME?? I will post my progress on this topic and I encourage you to do the same, starting with today as DAY 1!

On December 2nd, 2010 lisa2324 said:

Glad to hear that :) We can do this!

On November 26th, 2010 weezlebee said:

Day five. Feeling confident but don't want to get too proud because we know that pride comes before a fall. So far so good. Looking good too!

On November 25th, 2010 rachele said:

day 4 my fingers are looking good and healther i feel very confident i can do this but we will see

On November 25th, 2010 michaintoronto said:

I am Michelle and I had a very abusive childhood combined with food allergies that triggered the need to scratch. Found this forum today and so glad I am not alone. I am 42 years old in Toronto and just reading all of these posts is making me itchy. I love the idea of a 21 day challenge and logging each scratch. My body is totally covered and I am a single mom. My kids hate that i do this but i do believe it started with trying to be perfect and scratching off any blemishes. I am on Effexor but it has had no impact on my scratching or picking habits. I did see dermatologist a few years ago and she just said anxiety which was not useful as I do not want to go on more drugs! I would love to find a buddy in toronto area who can help keep me on track and I can do the same for. Thanks

On November 24th, 2010 rachele said:

18 days to go another good day just hope the rest of the days will be as good hope everyone else is doing well

On November 23rd, 2010 rachele said:

19 days left a good day

On November 22nd, 2010 rachele said:

day one.had to stop myself a few times only 20 more days to go

On November 22nd, 2010 Technicolorgirl said:

I'm ready to take this on- I'm 25 and have been obsessively picking at my face as well as ingrowns on my arms and chest since I was around 12. I dont expect all the marks I've inflicted on myself to disappear completely, but I refuse to let this control my life and leave me hating myself and the way I look. I can't completely identify the triggers that lead me to a picking incident, but have had some success identifying the behavior as soon as it starts before I can do too much damage. Hopefully meditation, exercise, and even keeping up my new crafting habits will keep my mind quiet and my body occupied. I quit smoking cold turkey and I'm going to attempt this in the same way- one day at a time. Thanks for inspiring me (and everyone here) to take up the challenge.... Will post progress later. I'd love to hear if any of you have had success with meditation or your own personal anxiety-reduction techniques since I'll be taking this on without professional assistance... Thx!!

On November 28th, 2010 Technicolorgirl said:

Major progress! It's been about a week and I've become really adept at stopping myself when boredom/anxiety sets in and I get the urge to pick. I've had a couple minor slip-ups, (always in the bathroom at night before bed) but stopped myself early on before it was a full blown disaster. My boyfriend even commented on how much softer and smoother my arms seemed which seemed an appropriate time to tell him about this embarrassing neurosis of mine. Fortunately, he understood and told me he was proud of my decision to stop. I want to post again when I've gone a considerable length of time without an urge at all- it'll be a big step so who knows how long that'll be. Anyway, keep it up everyone- it gets a little easier every day.

On November 21st, 2010 rachele said:

iv'e been picking my fingers for years and i hate the way thay look . i have tryed many times to stop with no success . im embarrissed by them as they dont look nice and feel nice .At first i chewed my finger nails and then one day i just stopped and then moved on to my skin. I will normaly do this when im board or nervous and my partner is always tell me off i would love to stop. hopefully this time i will starting from NOW . good luck to everyone x

On November 21st, 2010 weezlebee said:

Day One. Just found this website today. I looked a couple of years ago for online support and found nothing. I'm shocked at how "common" this problem is! I've picked my whole life. I'm 34 and have been married for 7 years. I pick all over but can usually control when it is a visable place. The problem area for me is my BUTT! I wear full coverage underwear so my hubby can't see. The poor guy...I am so embarrassed that I don't let him see me nude and he has no idea that I have this problem! Not too fun for a husband when his wife won't let him see her fully naked. I'm ready to be over this issue so I can be with my husband unashamedly! Today is November 21. My 21 day challenge begins today. My Christmas present to myself...so I guess this is a 34 day challenge. Gulp. Any methods or ideas on overcoming the compulsion?

On December 1st, 2010 JV said:

I started picking when my 18 year marriage was going downhill. My preferred picking place was my BUTT too!! I guess because it's the least looked at part of my body. Its still my preferred place, although I do my back, arms & legs too. I am SOOOO ashamed of myself. It's been about 6 yrs since I started & I have scars. I have a boyfriend that I have not let see or touch my butt for our 3 yr. relationship. I want help & I don't know what to do...it's very frustrating & depressing. I've tried cutting my fingernails short or taping my fingernails, but I can't seem to be consistent

On November 22nd, 2010 weezlebee said:

Day Two. Wow - that was one anxiety filled day! I had to stop myself at least 100 times. I now have a new found awareness of just how compulsive my problem is! Yikezerz. But...success on day one! YAY for me!

On November 23rd, 2010 weezlebee said:

DAY THREE. Getting better - less times of having to stop myself. I disclosed my problem to a close friend and she is helping keep me accountable. She had a great suggestion...CUT MY NAILS TO THE QUICK so I can't use them to pick! That is helping me during these initial days until I can make new/better habits for myself. My reward after 21 days....let my nails grow back. :) But - I havne't picked and in less than 36 hours I can see very drastic results in my skin. Sores are healing so fast!!! I didn't know it was even possible after having the same wounds for months at a time. Feeling encouraged...but still feeling the compulsive urge to pick off scabs and loose skin...but refraining!

On December 2nd, 2010 DIVAPICKER said:

awesome...hang on in there

On November 24th, 2010 weezlebee said:

DAY FOUR. Still doing well. But starting to feel itchy where skin is healing. Which is normal from what I read. But definitely doesn't make keeping my hands off/away any easier. But visual improvements to my skin in my problem areas (face/butt) which is so encouraging. WHEN I get through these 21 days I plan to see a dermatologist about scar reduction. K. Here's to hoping today is another successful day!

On October 13th, 2010 picker_rn said:

Out again. Maybe I'm not ready yet. :(

On October 14th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Don't give up hope! We're all here to support you. Nobody's keeping tabs on how well or how bad we do - it's just you against yourself. Stay positive! :)

On October 13th, 2010 alumberg said:

Today is day 1 for me! After 20 years of picking it has come time to stop! I'm tired of my husband saying he's worried about me because I look like a meth-head, but more than that, I'm tried of being embarrassed by the way my face looks. No more face/scalp/chest/back/zit picking!!! I know it's going to be hard, and if I mess up once, I just have to start over and not give up! I'm glad that there are so many other people who are going through the same thing. Thank you to everyone for making me not feel so alone anymore.

On October 13th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Hi guys! I'm documenting my complete 21 days journey on a blog. Please support me there so I don't feel like I'm doing it in vain. Thanks! Address: http://skinpick.blogspot.com/

On November 24th, 2010 weezlebee said:

Link doesn't work. Any ideas?

On November 24th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Hi! Just copy the address and paste it into your internet browser.

On October 12th, 2010 vee said:

Hi all! I hope your own 21 day challenges are successful! Hang in there, its a hard fight but well worth the benefits and you'll feel soo much better! I am starting my own 21 day challenge today! wish me luck! I'm only doing this because I know I've got the support of you guys! I thought this would be of interest to anyone who is finding it difficult to stick to their challenge, this might give you that extra push http://www.kikki-k.com/shop/product/weekly-habits-pad/

On October 9th, 2010 The Marshall said:

hi 17 days into the challenge. cannot believe the difference in skin (I am a finger picker). It is very difficult still but made easier as i am losing the urge Good luck everyone

On October 12th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Hey, amazing! You're almost there! Good for you!!

On October 8th, 2010 picker_rn said:

I'm gonna try it. Tomorrow will be day 1. I can't count today as I already picked, but I will try to not pick tonight. This along with OCM (oil cleansing method) should result in some kick ass beautiful glowing skin, right? I am going to kick the face/chest/neck/arm/back/etc/zit picking first, then go on to kicking the finger biting/picking. Good luck everyone!

On October 9th, 2010 picker_rn said:

On day 1, doing good so far. I should take pics to document my progress. The hard part is going to be when my face breaks out before my period. Right now it is not so bad, but pretty soon it might be bad.

On October 11th, 2010 picker_rn said:

Day 3 and I am out. Going to try to start day 1 again tomorrow. ARRRGGGGH!!!

On October 12th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Hey! I'm starting over with you. Last night I messed up completely after having trouble falling asleep. So, I'm back to day 1!

On October 7th, 2010 chinup_cheerup said:

AAAARRRGGGG!!! I made it almost two days without picking and this evening, after I was already in bed, I found myself overwhelmed with the need to pick and ended up in front of the mirror. Why do I do this?! I'll start again with Day 1 tomorrow. I want to do this. I feel so disappointed in myself. I don't feel like it should be this hard and uncontrollable. I hate it.

On October 8th, 2010 turnedthecorner said:

I know i messed up today, too. Day 1 starts again in the morning for me as well. we can do it!

On October 5th, 2010 breathe said:

Yay! I have made it to day 5 with no picking. Several cool things have happened. My skin is healing and looking better already. A few big gross annoying scabs on my scalp are now gone (I did allow myself to gently rub off scabs that were just barely hanging on, but usually i get a finger full of blood when I pick them off and this time, no blood or fluid!). I feel more confident talking to people during the day since I am not thinking about how they are thinking about how gross my skin looks. Of course, I still have lots of dark spots and some active lesions but I am on the right track. Good luck to everyone out there! We just have to realize that we are worth taking care of.

On October 5th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Great! Isn't it amazing how you can actually see the results when you stop picking? I'm at my second day 4 now and keeping my hands off. I don't have any breakouts at all anymore (this is after 15 days of initially starting the challenge), but the blackheads doesn't go away on their own. Does anyone have a solution to blackheads other than squeezing??? I'm ready to try anything!

On October 12th, 2010 Elsie.Beckmann said:

Hi! I I totally understand the urge to get at the pesky blackheads and have caught myself spending hours trying to squeeze them out. My best remedy thus far has actually been a mask from Origins. It has active charcoal in it, and literally dries the little time suckers up. It takes a couple of weeks to get the full benefit, but i have been using it on my nose and chin for the last few months, and I am virtually black head free. Here is a link http://www.origins.com/templates/products/sp_nonshaded.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY5812&PRODUCT_ID=PROD5689 good luck.

On October 5th, 2010 chinup_cheerup said:

I am new to this. Not new to picking, new to this "sharing that I pick" thing. I have kept quiet about it and just let it get worse over the years. I have done this for maybe 10 years, but it has gotten really bad in the past 5 or 6. I pick at my face until it is red and painful and, a few years ago, started picking at my chest, arms and back. I consider myself to be very attractive, but I punish myself for some reason by ruining my skin. So, tomorrow will be Day 1 for me. After tonight's picking "session" I broke down in tears and became desperate for help. I found this sight. I am not glad that other people suffer from this, but I am glad to know I am not alone.

On October 6th, 2010 turnedthecorner said:

We are in the same boat... I just found this site last night. I started the 21 day challenge thing today. I'm happy to report no picking! I started cognitive behavior therapy in July, and that's really helping me. I can't stress that enough. I understand how you feel. I think having support is the best thing we can do to keep ourselves strong since none of us like revealing our secret. Be good to yourself:)

On October 3rd, 2010 sarahde said:

Okay, setting a goal sometimes works for me. But I'm going to try it thanks to this post. I have been picking at my face, chest, back, and arms since I was about 12 or so and now I'm 20. Spending yet another Friday night alone, hiding. *sigh* Wishing the best to you all.

On October 2nd, 2010 The Marshall said:

Hi - been hovering foor ages. Started the 21 day challenge 10 days ago and still going strong. I am a finger picker to the eztreme. Partner now very helpful as she realises that it is a problem. I have taken to use a light nail file on my fingers once a day to soften the skin and encourage growth. It is working for me as it is kind of a substitute for picking. My fingers look great so I am really hoping I can continue and prove I cab kick the habit i have had for 20 + years Good luck everyone

On October 2nd, 2010 ashamed83 said:

K, here goes. I am going to try to do this. Day 1. God help me.

On October 3rd, 2010 sarahde said:

yay, we are starting on the same day. WE CAN DO THIS. fuck this obsessive ritual that we both know makes us feel angry, frusturated, irritated, sad, alone, and embarrassed. I can't even tell you how many things would have been so, so, so much better if my skin had been normal. A friends wedding, a party, a date, just hanging out with friends.. It always makes it so much worse if I'm feeling self consicous. So, I feel for you, trust me. And would love to beat this thing once and for all, especially with someone who understands. I know we, and anyone else who does it is going to feel soooo much relief after 21 days. Every single one of us would be so incredibly happy, I just know it.

On October 2nd, 2010 ataraxia said:

after 5 days (and it worked quite well) I have to start today again.. started while car driving.. what really helps me, silly oder not: i have some wool in my pockets.. when i realize that i´m starting to pick, i put out the wool and knot.

On October 1st, 2010 bottervliegie said:

Okay, I'm back to Day 1. I've got a hold on my active picking, but the unconscious picking is still a problem, which is why I'm in trouble! I caught myself picking and biting my cuticles (not disfiguring at all, but it's still an offence) as well as biting peeling skin on my lips. Also, scratching my scalp is a problem. So now, a fresh start after 11 days and now I'm going to do it right! I'm not discouraged, I actually feel like I've learned a lot during the past 11 days and that I have a better chance of getting to day 21 this time around. Good luck to you too!

On October 1st, 2010 MAD-am said:

oh dear its day 1 for me, i binge picked my arms last night. i think it happened because i went out for a drink and alcohol stops my medication from working properly. i know for certain this is why i picked because i binge picked before when i had a drink. at least i know what happened this time so i can avoid it in the future. im trying a 23 day challenge as from today. as im going out on the 23rd

On October 1st, 2010 breathe said:

Just finished day 1. I have had slight urges but I was motivated enough to avoid picking today. I am starting with a 3 day challenge, and if that works I will try your 21 day challenge. I have picked since I was in high school and I'm 28 now. It has gotten worse lately and I have been picking more areas more viciously, so I feel it's time to make a change. I hope this discussion continues--it really helps to hear that other people are going through the same thing, as corny as that sounds.

On October 1st, 2010 igby said:

'have to go back to Day 1 again. What I've learned in the past week: checking in w this forum helps whether good day or bad day, keeping my spinner ring on helps -- got into trouble after misplacing it for 2 days (!), have recommitted to more daily exercise and am wearing a pedometer to motivate me, and last but not least -- The less I look at myself when washing up or putting on skincare products the better. I'm back on board and glad to be back!

On September 30th, 2010 Sbell3 said:

Botervliegie, great that you reached 9 days allready! WoW! I'm starting over again, after day 7. Day 2 and 3 I allowed myself to ONLY get rid of the dead skin hanging from my face..but as you know.. one thing leads to another and well lets say day 4,5,6 and today, 7, my face looks awful. But my, my face looked great after day 2! From now on, I'm not going to touch my face, also no dead skin! Good luck everyone!

On September 30th, 2010 cherrycolalola said:

Hey Sbell Im in the same boat. It started with dead skin, but has moved on to a few episodes. Im just super stressed. Im starting school again and its bringing up a lot of feelings/anxiety. I've been out of school for a while, but when I did go I did the worst of my picking(this was in high school). I feel myself getting more anxious and picking more and its scary to me because those years were hell. I don't want to go back to picking and failing at school. Anyway this transition is going to be difficult. I am hoping I can move through it and not resort back to picking to relieve the stress. Anyway I'm starting over with you :)

On September 29th, 2010 patpernet said:

Tonight has been hell. Since I already acknowledged that Day 1 is a bust... I was unable to resist picking ALL of the scabs off my boobs and butt. It was like I was subconsciously thinking that the day was already blown... make the best of the opportunity. I hope the next 24 hours will be a success. I wish I could wrap my body in plastic wrap so I can't touch it. I keep putting the gloves on and then, when I have to take them off to do something, if I don't put them back on I start my bad habit. FORTUNATELY... I have a wonderful supportive husband. He loves me scars or no scars. He is concerned about me, not my scars. I am glad I am not in the dating world or working world where I would have to wear long sleeves and pants or long skirts to hide my shame...

On September 29th, 2010 bottervliegie said:

DAY 9: The weirdest thing happened today: I never wanted to pick! I never even tought about it during the day! I don't know why, but I just didn't feel the need. My theory is that writing down everything that I feel, things I could never have said out loud before, is helping me let go of whatever I am clinging on to so closely. My deepest, darkest secret is out, my pain and burden is shared and my shoulders are lighter. It may have just been a fluke, but I really hope it lasts!

On September 29th, 2010 patpernet said:

I have had this ailment for as long as I can remember. I really like this idea of a 21 day challenge. Today is not day one for me. I do have one recommendation that helps me realize that I am going to pick. I bought several pairs of lightweight cotton gloves (ebay - used for covering your hands after putting lotion on). If I have them on I cannot damage my skin any further. I have managed to go 24-48 hours without picking but I always fail to continue. I think this group will be a huge help. Only two people know I do this. I was seeing a psych doc and told her in several visits and showed her what I was doing to myself and she blew it off. I have a new doc I am seeing for the first time on the 13th and recognizing this disease is what will tell me if I will continue seeing her. There are NO therapists on the list in the state of Oregon where I live. :( Good luck fellow sufferers.

For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.