picking and eating
Posted October 3rd, 2010 by dracheld24
I'm 24, I have been picking and eating for as long as I can remember. As a young child I used to pick my nose and eat it. Then I started picking at my scalp and eating it. Now I pick everything. I pick things that don't even exist. I pick blackheads and zits, and scabs ear wax. (gross). The only thing i dont pick is my fingernails. But i chew the skin around them. It literally takes over my life sometimes. I work at an office and find myslef picknig at my desk, then gathering my findings in a pile and eating them when no ones around. I'm constantly scared that soemone will catch me or find out. or that people already know. I suffer from obbsession, bipolar spectrum depression. and have been seeing professionals about those issues. I can't speak the words about my picking disorder. I have lots of people who love me, and i think they still would if I told them, but I just can't.This email is even hard enough for me to write. I feel like im constantly battling with my self everyday, and this secret. I don't want to do this forever. It's gross, its time consuming and humiliating. I need help. I haven't had any chilhood trauma to my knowledge, and its hard to understand why I grew up with all these mental issues. I'm a normal person, with a normal life, and even my psychiatrists and psycologists cant understand why i have them, in their eyes i'm "normal". But I dont feel like it. Does anyone have any sucess stories to help stop?