New to site and seriously cannot take this issue of mine anymore.
Posted October 7th, 2008 by fedup
I am new to this forum; I stumbled across it researching my life-altering picking problem. I've known I wasn't the only one, but it still doesn't help much because in my life and to the people that know me, I am the only one. I don't see others looking like I do, although I know they are out there. I've been picking since I was a little girl, as long as I can remember. There were many years that it wasn't so bad. I would pick, but I only had a limited number of boo-boo's, shall I say. For the last 10 years or so, it has gotten so out of hand. I have boo-boo's on every part of my body, my face, arms, legs, back, feet, even on my rear. I feel so disgusting and it affects my life so much. I can't remember the last time I wore shorts, tanktops or went to the beach. I am so dependent on make-up to cover the sores on my face, even though make-up only goes so far, it's ridiculous. And who am I kidding, they are still painfully obvious. My husband, or anyone else for that matter, has really never seen me without make-up on. My husband is getting fed up with our love life, and so am I frankly, because I am so inhibited for fear of him seeing me and all of my hideousness. I have tried filing my nails off, fake nails, willpower (HA-obviously that doesn't work) and the most successful, comparatively, are Hydro Heal Bandaids/Blister Bandaids. I think I keep those companies in business, I should buy stock. But those only address the results, though not very well, not the reason behind my picking. My body is scarred beyond repair and I seriously cannot take this problem anymore. I have brought the issue up in therapy, although I am there for other reasons, and also mentioned it to doctors, but they never make it the priority that it clearly is. I don't think they understand how life-altering this is for me. I would give anything to stop. I don't know how. People, my family, say to me, "Just stop," and I want to yell at them. Like I want to live this way? If it was so easy to "just stop", I certainly would have by now. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to live my life like this.