Saying Hello, Introductions

Posted January 17th, 2012 by beautifulbeneath
Hi everyone, I'm new here and I just wanted to say hello and hopefully meet some people who share the same thing I struggle with. I've been picking my face for about 4 years, I guess once I hit puberty and started to get acne. I hadn't made the connection, but for a really long time before I started picking my face I was picking at scabs left from scratching bug bites on my legs. I also used to bite my fingernails, which I think is related to the whole issue of dermatillomania. I also have ADHD, and I take a WHOLE lot of medication for it. I was diagnosed in the first grade, and I started medication (Concerta, in case anyone knows what that is) in second. Come to think of it, after I started medication was right around when I started picking my legs. I've been doing some research, and I think that my issues stem from an imbalance of seratonin. As a kid, I was never able to sleep. Ever. I would literally be up until 4 o'clock in the morning, just lying in bed. Not watching TV, not reading, just lying there. I physically couldn't sleep, and I think that it relates to something with seratonin. I also have some issues with mood and appetite, and this is all related to seratonin, according to wikipedia anyway. At this point, I'm 16 and I just want to be done with this. I don't know how much longer I can go with crying because I can't control the way I look. The thing is, my skin wouldn't be that bad if I didn't pick at it. I would probably be kind of pretty if I didn't pick, but at this point I don't even know. I just can't see past these sores on my face, and things that don't even look like pimples that most people wouldn't even see anyway. I'm just desperate for help, and I feel like I can't do this alone. Thanks for listening (or reading, i guess), if you still are! I'm really looking forward to opening a new chapter of my life where I'm not ashamed of my skin and my face, and I hope I get there someday!
‹ gone to far Remember We Are Okay: Don't forget who you are. ›
On January 25th, 2012 toomuchpressure said:
Hello! Just wanted to let you know that there is hope! We are all here to support you and help in any way possible. We all understand your hunger for the future when you don't pick. I have read and read on different ways to stop and it is SO difficult, I won't lie. Sometimes I go for a long time not having a bad picking session and other times I can' go a single day without one. It's a long journey and we are all in on it together! I encourage you to keep reading and researching and find ways that will really help you. Best of luck! :)
On March 6th, 2012 beautifulbeneath said:
I just went over two weeks without picking, and for some reason i came home yesterday and just went to town on my face. i was so upset at myself, and i wanted to stop so badly but i just couldn't. the thing i told myself i wouldn't do, i picked again today! i can't believe I just did this to myself again, and i'm so pissed off at myself. I'm so mad that i was able to go for so long without picking, and then i just go right back to doing what i tell myself i won't. if anyone has any tips for not feeling so down on yourself after picking please, please share! i really need some help at this point, and i'm just feeling so bad about myself.
On March 6th, 2012 toomuchpressure said:
First and foremost...You are beautiful on the outside too! I have never seen or met you but i know this. Don't beat yourself up...I think the most important thing that I have learned to do is to forgive myself. FORGIVE YOURSELF :) That is the first step. Accept that this IS a challenge and you WILL overcome it! Its hard. I know, we all try our very best to go so long and we get our clear skin back and then after two weeks of healing, its ruined in less than ten minutes. This is just a step of the process. Think about how much stronger you got in those two weeks! That means you can do it again! YOu can do this. I believe in you and everyone here does too! Forgive yourself and start again, not over, this was just a bump in the road :)
On March 7th, 2012 beautifulbeneath said:
you have no idea how much that means to me. hearing from someone that knows what i'm going through, and knows how i feel, and is a complete stranger, means the absolute world to me. if you have any tips on how to fight the urge to pick, i'm all ears! thank you so much for your kind words, they are so greatly appreciated!
For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.