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scarred4ever , 31 Jan 2012

Arms and back, scarred for life..

I am a 19 year old girl.. and i started picking my shoulder and back 2 1/2 years ago. I have been picking my face since i was 13, but thought that was normal, since i just started getting bad skin at that age. But now i realize this all might have started then.. I can cover my face with makeup, but my face isnt bad at all anymore. my shoulders and arms on the other hand.. a lot of white scars, scabs, sores.. i have to cover my arms at all times. I got married 2 months ago.. and i wanted soooo bad to wear my gorgeous dress without an ugly jacket.. but i couldnt.. my arms are so bad i cant show em.. my husband knows. he tries to help me.. and i hate the feeling when i see how upset or disappointed he is when he finds out i have destroyed my arms even more. I have also chewed on my lips and inside my mouth since i was 14. I think back now, and it started right after my father died(when i was 14).and my grandmother had died 2 months before that. Not gonna go into detail about all the down times in my life that could have triggered the arm and back picking.. but i know that i am depressed all the time, and my husband thinks i should go see a shrink.. I want to get better,for me and for the love of my life. its saddens me that i cant ever wear a tshirt or top without wearing a jacket over ever again.. I live in one of the hottest states in the US.. so its hard to have to wear something that covers my arms all the time.. sorry if this is alot to read.. but it actually helps writing it out :) trying to keep to hands busy so i wont pick ! ;p anyone with the same problem?? ps. read something about "swedish bitters".. supposed to help with scars.. im definitely gonna try it out!!
3 Answers
pickermom
February 01, 2012
Hi - I am 34 years old and am the mom to a one year old. I have been a nail biter since I was 8 - I think a defence mechanism for the physical abuse I suffered. Four years ago, I started picking my chin, chest, neck, and back. After the birth of my son I started picking my legs feriously. I have scars and I know what you mean about clothes. I can't wear shorts in the summer. I see a counselor and a psychiatrist. I'm on 40 mg. of Lexapro. Nothing is helping. Not sure what to do.
deadinside
February 18, 2012
first posting.. i could write a book. how do i summarize the last 16 yrs of my life. i am 43 yr old wife and mother . started skin picking approx age of 28 brought on by extreme pressure in my life. trying to please everyone. work, family, inlaws school. would sit for hours in daze watching blood pour after satisfaction of scab coming off then shame for doin so. hrs flew by. usually late at night when no one was around or aware. afterwards routine of trying to cleanse what i had created by taking shower or hot bath. i tried to in sense take care of myself when others turn away at what i was doin for the next 3 yrs. wearing long sleeves and pants i hated myself for what iwas doin yet felt satisfaction in how oddly it relieved stress. tho it created more probllems for me in society. husb turned blind eye. went cold turkey after about 3 yrs. eventually healed and marks disappeared. niot sure how long it took but remember buying creams to fade scars that had bleach as ingredient. that was over 10 yrs ago. in that time i had gastric bypass and often thought how sad that was to have felt such sorrow inside me to pick myself apart.. such a dark place.. never thinking id ever go there again..... last yr husb left me for hs sweetheart after 22 yrs marriage... i relapsed for two weeks straight.... hiding in bathroom when i knew possible. picking for hours. all over my bodyanywhere i could reach if i felt a bump i persisted to dig it out... needing to feel something other than gutt wrenching loss of husb leaving. .. i stopped after 2ks, but had less than handful of small spisodes that i relapsed. ever since ive had to wear long sleeves and pants and its killing me inside. realizing no one will ever love me again with these scars on my arms that are scattered from top to bottom. dark marks and flesh raised bumps they hold me back from believing i will ever find love again. my job where people whereshort sleeves all the time, i wear jackets or long sleeved shirts beneath my scrub. they wonder but never ask.i feel so alone... wishing for miracle to fade marks on my arms once again but realize gastric bypass may play role in healing of those areas and being older... shame... shame.disgust. divorce impending.not dealing well at all with loss of husb then hating ,myself having scarred myself up bc of heartache when he left.. he doesnt care and never did and i did this to myself over my hjeartache over him.... fool...not sure how to go on.dating,told im beautiful but i putt up walls before i would have to tell my dirty secret... hopeless..... how do i fade these marks to help me let go of my past?
scarred4ever
February 18, 2012
Siince I created this post, I have not picked...... I am so proud of myself, and seeing how proud my hubby is really helps! I scrub, rinse,lotion and use swedish bitters on my arms and back. Has help a lot! Cut my nails so its harder to pick too;) the scrubbing and swedish bitters has been my rescue! I paid $ 26 or so for a big bottle, and soak cottonballs and smear it on the skin. Been doing this for a week or 2 and can already see a big difference! Try it, its awesome:) Other than that, I have a great hubby ,who helps me every night, with the back and arm routine. There are guys out there who cares so much for you, not only will they accept you even with your skin picking, but they will help you. Find that person, and share with them why you are picking and how it affects u.. don't hide it! I found my person, and I can talk and explain my frustrations and issues, and it helps me to not pick:) planning on seeing a therapist soon, so I can prevent future picking. Sheabutter and cocoa butter is helpful in getting sccars to disappear too btw.I use the palmers oil too, to reduce scars and stretchmarks. Cheap options that have worked for me ! Hope they help you too:)

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