23, picking since age 12. help me.
Posted April 14th, 2012 by heidii
I discovered this was an actual disorder last year or so, and was glad to find out I wasn't the only one. However, I've grown up in a family/culture where anything psychiatric/psychologically related is considered relatively 'crazy', so I've avoided seeing a psychiatrist or doing anything along those lines. I took SSRIs for about 8 months for anxiety/depression, but that didn't stop the skin picking, or even affect it. I guess I should give some backstory. Eldest, and very lonely, child, around age 12 my dad started showing me how to get rid of pimples (by squeezing them). I destroyed my skin and have been doing the same since then, off and on. At 15, two close relatives died, and my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I had to run the household in the event that my dad died. At 17, my dad had another brain surgery and radiation. From age 11-20, I was psycho-sexually abused (nothing excessively physical) by a cleric. I was the only person from my high school to complete a Bachelor's degree in 4 years, and immediately went on to pursue a second (accelerated) Bachelor's. I currently have one year left in the program, and am still destroying my skin. I have been seeing a counsellor for over 2 years, but this skin picking is outside of his area of expertise. I started out picking my face; it progressed to arms, chest, back, and this year, legs. I have scars everywhere. I know that my skin would be almost completely clear if I didn't touch it. I look older than I am because of the things I've dealt with in my family and so forth. Once I finally get into my chosen career, the only option I see to fix my skin is microdermabrasion, or something equally expensive. I'm currently in a very supportive and loving relationship, and my family is alive and well. As well, I am progressing strongly through my degree. But I'm still destroying my skin. And I'm scared that I'll really be 'crazy' if I see a psychiatrist. Has seeing a psychiatrist helped any of you? Has seeing a psychiatrist prevented you from getting any jobs? I know that my health history has prevented me from getting one job, so far..