Never again

Posted October 1st, 2012 by Janchi
Many times I've told myself that I would never pick at my face again. The longest I've been able to persevere is about five days. After another minor picking session today and loathing myself afterwards, I've decided that making a post on this forum might help solidify my intention of never picking again. It's kind of comforting to see I'm not the only one with this problem, although I think my case isn't even that severe compared to other people on here. I started picking when I was a teenager and have done so for about 5 years. I don't think it's got anything to do with OCD, to me it feels more like an addiction. I've thought about the reason I pick at my skin and I think I like(d) the relaxation and feeling of euphoria it gave me when I managed to succesfully remove some imperfection, even though I created an even larger imperfection in the process (that I was able to live with for some reason). Another major reason is that I want to feel in control of my own skin. I'm going to draw a calendar on my whiteboard and draw a green cross (or something like that) through all the days I managed to not pick at my skin. My current goal is one month without picking. They say it takes 30 days to create a habit, so I'm guessing it also takes 30 days to break one ;) I've also informed the boyfriend of my destructive habit, so I'm hoping on lots of support from him :) If anybody's got some more advice for me, please share! One thing I'm worried about is that I will feel I HAVE to pick because otherwise my skin will detoriate into a horrible mess. Like I said, I feel like I need to be in control: I don't trust my skin to keep itself "perfect". So if anybody knows of some non-harmful way to keep my skin into top condition, please do share. I've already started to exercise more and I think my diet is sufficiently healthy. I also wash my face with diluted apple cider vinegar in the morning and evening. Thanks for reading my story and onwards to 30 pickfree days! :)
‹ Sad News Decided never to pick again.... ›
On October 22nd, 2012 Janchi said:
Sigh, my 30 day challenge is not going so well. So far I've got about 14 green crosses out of 22. That's only just more than half! Grrr, how hard can it be to stop touching my face :( I slipped again today, quite badly too... I feel sad and disappointed. I've told myself so many times that I need to stop (even while I'm picking) but I guess it's too addicting. I just need to stay away from the mirror altogether. Darnit :( I hope other people's challenges are going better than mine! I think I'm going to restart mine in November, but first I will finish this month with only green crosses!! >:( By the way, apparently it takes your skin about 27 days to completely renew itself. Another reason to try to keep it up for at least a month :) Also, does anyone know of an effective blackhead treatment? I don't have bad acne (pimples etc.) and never have either, but I've got a lot of small bumps on my face (especially my cheeks) that look like slightly raised blackheads. It's these that unleash my worst picking behaviour so I just really want to get rid of them in a facefriendly way, haha.
On October 16th, 2012 LightHeart28 said:
Hi, Everyone! Gosh, it made me cry to read about psychological problems related to this habit. I have been doing this since I was 12 or 13, I think, and now I'm 28. Medicine that has been prescribed by dermatologists often just made my face hurt or turn red. Now I have some antibiotic pills and a topical antibiotic, called clindamycin phosphate. It seems to work, so if you haven't found anything good, I recommend it! But I am not very good at using it everyday. It is stressful to think that I have had this problem for so long without getting over it. I think that is partly why I am so tired of trying to solve this problem. I don't like putting makeup on because I feel like it only makes my face worse, but I also feel self-consious when I don't. Lately I tell myself that it is a sign that I need to make changes in my life and that if I am happy then I will not have this problem. But there are only so many things I can do! Well, anyway, it feels comforting to find a community like this. At least there are some people who understand. The thirty day challenge is a nice idea. I will join in on it. Today is October 16, so wish me luck. :)
On October 22nd, 2012 Janchi said:
Good luck! :D
On October 7th, 2012 SpottyFace said:
Hi there Janchi, I'm with you on the 30 day challenge! I'm about to have a birthday..a new decade of my life..I'd really love to have my spots healed and have a good start at having this thing behind me. I think my biggest problem is that I'm at home by myself because my husband is currently gone. It's when I'm left alone that I am most likely to do some major damage. A few weeks ago I had a serious relapse and ended up with staph. Since then (after 2 rounds of antibiotics) I've done better, but not as good as what I had promised myself. I think the greatest tip I've heard since being on this site is about using calamine lotion..it really does help. Also, my bathroom at home only has the bright lights right above the mirror..which is a huge trigger for me. So, I went and bought an el-cheap-o stand up tall lamp to put in the bathroom, which provides a much dimmer light. I can see what I'm doing (well enough so that my makeup doesn't look clowinish..but I can't see every little pore) I also NEVER look at my face in a public bathroom, especially at work. At my old job I had a bad habit of going into the bathroom with no intentions of picking. But sometimes I'd end up in there for a good while, and come out a mess and it was humiliating. I've since moved and started a new job and so far I've done good about not picking at work. I want to give my encouragement, support, and thanks to you and everyone else on this site. I'm right there with you !!
On October 6th, 2012 Janchi said:
Thanks for the kind comments everyone :) I think it's much more difficult to break a promise you made someone else than a promise to yourself :P I think I'm on day five and so far I've only put green crosses on my calendar, although I have to admit I did slip up once or twice... By that I mean that I started to examine my face from up close, which is asking for trouble of course! I managed to stop before things got out of hand, though, which is why I drew green crosses anyway. At the moment my skin is especially bad on my right cheek :/ It's probably got something to do with my upcoming period and I think that it might be related to always sleeping on my right side. The bedding needed changing anyway so that potential problem has been removed already :) I'm also considering visiting a beautician, rather than a dermatologist. When I'm not referred by my GP, a dermatologist is rather expensive. Plus I only have very light acne: just some uneven skin (most of this probably caused by picking), actually only visible under the right conditions. I'm not sure that's a serious enough problem to consult a dermatologist. So what I want to ask is: do any of you have experience in visiting a beautician?
On October 3rd, 2012 mschafer87 said:
Janchi - I too have trouble trusting my skin to heal itself. That's part of the reason I pick (I know it's contradictory but somewhere in my crazy head it makes sense haha). As far as some non-harmful ways to keep your skin looking good I find that a concise routine in the morning and night definitely help. Cleanse, tone, treat and moisturize. I try not to "spot treat" with acne meds because looking in the mirror triggers my picking. Every morning and night I wash with Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel and follow with Mario Badescu Special Cucumber Lotion (toner). During the day I use a simple moisturizer and for night I've been using the Garnier Skin Renew Dark Spot Corrector and the Mario Badescu Seaweed Night Cream. For picked skin, use a tiny amount of neosporin or bacitracin directly on the spot.
On October 6th, 2012 Janchi said:
Thank you for your advice :) I now only look in mirrors with pretty lighting around. It makes me feel better about myself because, well, I look prettier :P I also stopped leaning towards the mirror and looking at myself from up close because there's no way other people will see mee from that close either, haha! I also try to avoid the magnifying mirrors, my mum's got two of those in the bathroom and I used to use those when picking. Now I put them away immediately when I go to the bathroom because I know they're so tempting. I have difficulty coming up with a routine because I'm not sure which products to use. It seems so much can go wrong in choosing a product. At the moment I just rinse my face with water, then wash with some diluted apple cider vinegar on a cotton pad, spot treat with pure apple cider vinegar and then put on some hydrating day cream (http://goo.gl/x4DWf). Product recommendations are also difficult because I've got no idea if I can even find them in my country :) But I've been looking up some ingredients I need to look out for so perhaps I can try some things :D
On October 3rd, 2012 mschafer87 said:
I'm going to join you in this endeavor!!! My skin picking right now is definitely not the worst its ever been but I've gotten back into the habit of looking in my mirror every evening and picking a few spots. I want to gain back some control before it gets worse. Here are a few helpful tips from my therapist... - Don't try to control your thoughts. We can NEVER control our thoughts, only our actions. - If you are a habitual picker, every time you feel your hands floating towards your face make a tight fist for thirty seconds. This helps increase your awareness of the habit. I'm both a habitual and compulsive picker and reducing the habit side of picking significantly helps the overall problem. - IF you do pick, don't beat yourself up about it!!! We are all human and mistakes happen. Keep a log of your picking (i.e. what you were feeling before, what you felt after, time of day, etc.). Awareness is KEY! Let me know if you want any more tips :)
On October 6th, 2012 Janchi said:
Haha, well good luck with your thirty days then! I've noticed you've started a thread as well :D I'm sure we can do it! I think I've already lost the feeling of being addicted to picking by educating myself about it (in particular about how bad it is). So now it's just a matter of breaking the habit, and of course replacing this habit with skin treatment that's actually healthy. I believe it is in fact possible to control your thoughts. It can be difficult of course, but so is controlling your actions :) And actually, when I have picked again I try to make myself feel really really upset about it. Whenever I feel like picking afterwards, I try to recall that feeling of disappointment from before. I think it might help :) And more tips would be great of course!
On October 2nd, 2012 Jacy said:
Honestly, you sound exactly like me - It's crazy how similar we think and how motivated we are to kick this habit! I really wish you the best of luck and am actually going to join you in this 30 day goal. Green x's on a white board? I think we can do that. Plus the bonus is a beautfiul face, confidence, being completely who we are - it's sounds so easy. So just letting you know there's another girl out there who shares the exact same story with you, and will be as supportive as a computer screen will let her be :) Tonight is the last night we will go to bed feeling anything less than who we are. Best of luck on day 1! Beauty is not skin deep :)
On October 8th, 2012 goal orientated said:
I have the exact bad habits so wish to join the 30 day goal. What date did everyone else begin? This should be my first day. I am going to collect my diary from work to bring it home for these green ticks or red crosses. I always find the veryyyy first few days the toughest, so I hope I can handle it. Goodluck to all others. Looking forward to everyone's natural beauty returning.. xxxxxxx
On October 6th, 2012 Janchi said:
Wooh, more people are joining in on the 30 day goal! ^^ It does sound easy, doesn't it? :) I like how the concept is really simple but you can add anything you want. Like keeping a log or taking daily pictures, or maybe even weekly rewards (added to the reward of pretty skin of course) :) So good luck to you as well! :D
On October 2nd, 2012 valentine said:
Hey Janchi, welcome. Certainly, one suggestion for not feeling like your skin will go to pot by not picking is to consult a dermatologist. They will explain to you in no uncertain terms the damage done by picking and can help by prescribing things to take away even light breakouts. I'm not saying that that's the entire answer--I just think it might help demonstrate to you that you're not "helping" your skin by picking. Good luck and hope to read you here again.
On October 6th, 2012 Janchi said:
Thanks for the warm welcome and the suggestion :) I'm not sure I will visit the dermatologist though, it's kind of expensive and not covered by insurance if I don't get referred by my GP. For now I will try to beat this bad habit by myself :)
For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.