Want to talk to my boyfriend about my disorder, But how?
Posted October 6th, 2012 by WantsHealthyGlow
Has anyone here experienced having to talk to a love one for the first time about their disorder? "Come Out" of the darkness, so to speak? I could use some advice. I have been a skin picker for 17 years. Since I can remember. I have never had clear skin as a result. If I didn't pick my skin, it would be beautiful. I am not prone to acne, I just pick things that don't exist, or squeeze pores...and create problems that were never there. In my personal life, I am a control freak, a perfectionist and am highly critical of other people.. and myself obviously. I am an artist and I work from a home studio. I live with my loving beautiful supportive amazing boyfriend and we are probably going to get married within a year or two. I have never openly talked to him about my skin picking. I have never talked to anyone.. I went to group therapy sessions at an OCD center in Los Angeles that specialized in skin picking and hair pulling disorders. This was a bit of a help but not much. I know my boyfriend is aware that I do this but we never talk about it and I hide it from him. I pick when he is at work and I am home alone. When I am stressed, anxious, bored or feeling down. I used to be a heavy smoker and the sensation is the same. We were both listening to NPR on the radio last week, and a story came up about "Excessive Grooming" disorders... I knew exactly what it was going to be about and my heart skipped a beat. I got nervous. I have hid my issue from people for so long that I knew if we both listened to the story together it would be "Out there". "He may sense my nervousness", I thought. We both listened and didn't say a word about it. I made a point to tell him that I wanted to hear it though. So I have decided that it is time I finally talk to to him about this. I know my family or my boyfriend would never judge me. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed. If I want to spend the rest of my life with my man, I know I have to talk to him about it. I know he can help me change. It is the first step to not only controlling my picking, but managing the anxieties and control issues in my life that are so crippling to my self esteem, my career and my ability to grow and move forward. How can I start the conversation with him?