looking for some moral support
Posted October 9th, 2012 by sunlit_moon
I am new to this site, and this is the first time I have ever actually spoken (or written for that matter) about picking. I'm hoping that admitting to it will be of some sort of help. I've been picking for quite a long time now, maybe ten years, not entirely sure when it started. My compulsions have gotten so bad lately I feel like I don't know who I am apart from picking and trying to avoid picking. I'm at a point in my life now where it's less socially acceptable to have skin problems, being a young woman, I guess, so I'm more aware of it, which in turn makes it harder to control. Not sure I really have a point to writing this, but I just felt like maybe if I posted something it would be a good step to recovery, and that maybe I could find someone to relate to so I don't feel so lonely and trapped inside my own head. I'm sick of sitting in my room alone crying, ashamed of my strange behavior, not wanting to show my face to people as a result of my own actions. I want to be free. I want to have control. Most of all, I want to figure out who I am apart from this affliction and to love myself. At this point though, all of those things seem so far out of reach. Any advice or encouraging words would be greatly appreciated, because I've nearly lost faith in myself.