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circleoflife , 20 Jun 2014

Beginning the process of quitting...

Hi, my name is Eva, I just turned 18 years old and I have been picking for 7-9 years. Countless numbers of times, I have tried to stop picking. I have tried many different things to help stop but unfortunately I have constantly gone back to this terrible obsession. I think what makes it the worst is when I have a special event like a wedding, prom, a school dance, a family get together, or even going out with friends. One such example is high school graduation. My HS graduation is tomorrow. Not an hour ago I went on one of my "picking sprees". Now, my forehead is covered in red spots where I picked and digged into my skin with tweezers. There is no way that my forehead is going to heal before graduation tomorrow and i am dreading going because of the photographs and the embarrassment. Things I have realized about my picking have come from my years and years of doing it, and from sessions with my therapist. I know why I pick- it's very comforting, I grew up feeling very insecure about many things and picking is one of my outlets of escaping all of my troubles. When I pick it's like I go into a bubble where sounds are blocked out and all of my troubles disappear. It doesn't really hurt when I pick, which I have been asked by my therapist and family members. However, when I stop picking that's when I feel like the seriousness of what I just did and the guilt that comes with it comes crashing down on me like a powerful wave. Panic sets in immediately and I wash my face and try to treat it with a face mask or Neosporin or Sudocrem- which is like baby rash ointment but it's 10x better because it can be used on cuts, burns, rashes, irritation, etc... AND it's a thick white cream that covers any freshly picked red spots (which helps disguise it for a little while from my family members. Picking is an endless cycle of guilt, anxiety, stress, and sometimes sadness. SO, I want to share my journey and hopefully share some of the things that have kind of worked for me just in case they work for you guys better than they did in my case.
7 Answers
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KickinPickinGirl
July 02, 2014
How are things going for you sweety? Graduation went well I hope? Are you still on your recovery path? I just joined forum today but have been reading this entire site for days now. I can't believe there's actually names for the awful obsession we suffer from. Currently my back, arms, shoulders, neck,& face look terrible! Which is incredible embarrassing!!
KickinPickinGirl
July 02, 2014
How are things going for you sweety? Graduation went well I hope? Are you still on your recovery path? I just joined forum today but have been reading this entire site for days now. I can't believe there's actually names for the awful obsession we suffer from. Currently my back, arms, shoulders, neck,& face look terrible! Which is incredible embarrassing!!
amgoingtochange
July 03, 2014
Just want to tell you a good news story. I was a picker for years....really bad. Found this site and eventually tried to stop. I have almost stopped completely now. Sometimes I squeeze odd spot. These are my tips I did not feel brave enough to see doctor but luckily I got rid of this horrible obsession myself. 1.get rid of all mirrors or cover them with toothpaste if can't be removed. Toothpaste is sticky and murky and won't let you see up close. 2. Cut nails really short and dump tweezers....who cares about eyebrows get them done properly when you have kicked this habit 3. Stop cleansing.....a beautician told me to stop getting treatments, I stopped even taking off make up at night. Skin can deal with dirt on its own. If you want to clean buy witch hazel oil for healing. 4. Drink water if possible....and get out in fresh air. Please try this for one day at a time. Do not set 30challenge cos you are setting up a time limit this is going to be a habit you will just begin to deal with and grow out of. Do not become obsessed with it. That is what happened me....
circleoflife
July 04, 2014
Thank you for all your nice comments and stories! I really appreciate them. Alright. I haven't picked yet today and I don't plan to. What I have found to help is the sun. I was stupid one day and went swimming without sunblock and I got a sunburn on my arms and face (I was wearing a t-shirt). However, I got some aloe and completely lathered myself in it. Surprisingly the next day the sunburn on my arms was significantly better and less red. My face was still red but I applied sunblock and aloe to it and it healed up in two days. The positive of this was that the sunburn killed the top layer of skin cells on my face. This dried up and cleared up the spots that I picked at on my forehead and chin etc... It's amazing what the sun can do! However, I do recommend sunblock. You can dry up your acne and spots while still wearing sunblock. I would also say that aloe is like a magical elixir. Aloe heals you right up and it is a little drying so it will help with acne. I remember applying aloe to my arms every night during one summer and I think I quit picking for about a week. That's the longest I remember. It really helps!!! So, my suggestion is to apply aloe. Just normal aloe without the cooling stuff because that gets uncomfortable especially on your face. It makes your eyes water. So, that's my helpful tip that seems to be working. Another thing that I really think will help is going to college. I don't pick around people so I think living in a dorm with someone else will help. Thanks guys. The support really helps with ending the constant cycle of beating myself up and picking as a result of that. I'll update soon.... :D
JulieD
July 30, 2014
Just saw your follow up comment and I wanted to add that the sun helps me too... but saltwater (& even chlorine pools) also helps a lot. Soaking in a pool or the ocean really helps clear up & dry out my skin in a subtle & good way. I've even bought a sea salt soap & it seems to help too.
circleoflife
August 23, 2014
Ditto, luckily my parents have a salt water pool. But I still think that there's nothing like the ocean and sun combined. Sand also helps because it exfoliates. So basically a day at the beach is the best thing lol. Thank you for commenting and sharing. I love getting feedback and comments about other people's experiences. It makes me more motivated and encouraged, which helps. So thank you! :D
circleoflife
August 23, 2014
*Update* Okay, so just now I had a picking session. However, this time it was different and I ended up feeling kind of proud of myself. Weird huh? Feeling proud of yourself for picking? Anyway, it started out as passing a beauty mirror, you know the double sided ones where one side is magnified. Mirrors and tweezers are my main big triggers. So, I passed the mirror, I was the only one downstairs, and I knew where the tweezers were... basically a recipe for disaster. However, I had the idea a week ago to set a timer. The problem I encountered the first time I did this was that I would just keep resetting the timer when it went off because my phone was right next to me. This time, however, I put the phone somewhere where I would have to walk to turn it off. A.k.a it forces me to break from picking and go turn off the timer. This sounds not much different from my failed attempt, however, there's a twist. When the timer goes off, on my way to go turn it off I get myself to put the tweezers away and take the mirror with me so I can also put that away. Then, when I get to the timer, all the trigger objects are out of sight. I set my timer for 5 min. The first time it went off I just went over and reset it, however, the second time it went off, I put the tweezers away and put away the mirror. RESULT: my shortest time picking, it's a record! (usually I can spend at least 1 hour doing a picking session) So, I guess you can see why I am so happy. Something actually worked this time. Also, my plan so far is to wean myself off of my habit. So, reduce the amount of time I spend and get used to breaking that urge by limiting the time I spend picking. -Hope this gives you ideas and helps. I'll keep posting now and then :D

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