my fellow pickers!!
Posted June 9th, 2009 by bpljj204
OMG! I can't believe that I found this forum... It's the first time that I actually looked up this "problem" that I've been having all of these years, but have been too scared to actually acknowledge... I've been picking my skin on my face since my early teens (13 or 14) when I first started getting acne... Through the years, the habit has become a compulsion... I am now 29 years old, and I have scars on my face from all of the picking... They are sort of a small darkish brown spot... I can point out places on my face where there was a particularly bad bout of picking and the scar that resulted. :( My routine has always been to take my 10X mirror in the bathtub with me every evening and pick pick pick pick every single little imperfection on my face... blackheads, whiteheads, dry skin. Almost all of it to begin with were totally not noticeable without the 10X mirror, but to me, it was such a relief to pick for 1/2-1 hour at a time. Sometimes I would look at the clock and think "oh my gosh, I can't believe I just spent that much time picking my face!" After picking at my face, I would feel so shitty about myself. I would look at my face and tell myself how ugly I am and how much I deserve it because I just did that to myself! I've picked behind my ears to the point where it has caused abscesses! I've also picked in the crease between my legs and my groin to the point of having abscesses! I've twice had to go to the doctor to have abscesses incised and drained and then packed. :( What's crazy is that I am actually a pretty girl... I have long blonde hair, long legs, tall, nice boobs, a pretty face... Why do I choose to do this to myself? If I go a couple of days without picking, I think to myself, "I'll bet there are a lot of good things to pick right now!" It's hard for me to talk about this... I just wanted someone else out there to know that they aren't alone with this OCD behavior... It sucks, and I wish that I could stop.