This is my story, and I have recently found a lotion that kind of helps....

My picking began in my teen years. It was not nearly as bad then as it is now. I can remember sitting in my sink for hours as a teen, at least once or twice a week, just picking away at every blackhead or pimple i could feel or see. Soon I was off to college, and my picking was still not too bad. It wasn't until my sophomore year in college that it got worse. I found myself having trouble concentrating in class and was diagnosed with ADHD. As my stresses at school worsened and I began to take adderall during the day, I notice the time I spent in the sink increasing. I would pick until there was no area unturned on my face. Afterward I would apply a mask, thinking "this will calm the redness and get rid of the acne." Nope, not it, it may have been moderate acne, but I was definitely making it worse with the picking. Once or twice a week slowly turned into everyday, and even between classes in the women's restroom... to the point that I wouldn't want to go to class because of my embarrassment. My roommates would harass me to stop, but there was nothing they could do or say to stop me. I would secretly run away and lock myself in the bathroom TO PICK!!!! I don't know why, but I just couldn't stop. Years passed, picking continued, and now I do it everyday for at least an hour. Its ridiculous. At some point in my picking career, my mom suggested it was my ADHD medication that made it worse. I spoke with my therapist, and he thought maybe it was too high of a dose. We changed my dosages, and I even stopped taking it, my grades fluctuated, and I was STILL PICKING. Recently, I have begun to get really down on myself for picking. My co-workers harass me to quit picking, and I find myself getting upset with them. I just have this never ending urge to run my fingers over my neckline, arms, face, hairline, searching for minuscule bumps and blemishes I have even started to secretly pick at my chest when no one is looking, or I am alone in my house. I have gone through more band aids than I ever thought I could in a lifetime trying to hide my blemishes from myself. I am at my wits end. I cry with frustration often. I feel as if there is something wrong with me, like I'm crazy. But I am not crazy, and I know I'm not crazy, I just want to pick my skin... for hours on end. I think my next step is to try the acrylic nails. I have had them before, before I realized what I was doing, and I think it helped deter me from picking AS MUCH. So I am going to try them again and see if it helps. Recently a dermatologist recommended I start using AmLactin on my body. He said that he tells "pickers" to use it twice a day (its over the counter, but about $16 a bottle). Surprisingly, it has helped SOME with the body picking, but I am afraid to use it on my face. Sometimes lotions make my picking worse. I think picking relieves stress in some aspects, but worsens it in others. Maybe this is some sort of way for me to keep a guard up... maybe I'm just afraid of letting anyone too close. I just need to know that someone else feels the way I do.