I want to stop!
Posted August 24th, 2009 by hesteroonie
Here I am and I just turned 64 last week. I started picking my cuticles in puberty and I've never stopped. At times, it's so bad I tear the skin off around the top of my thumbs. It comes and goes but never goes completely. I've tried so many things: manicures, hand cream, clipping every tiny little cuticle tear. I take medication for anxiety but I'm still a very anxious person. In June, I moved into a lovely apartment with my life partner. However, I'm never completely relaxed unless I'm completely alone, even sitting in my car, reading, at MacDonald's. I can't believe I finally found a forum for this type of compulsive behavior. I've used google in the past to no avail. I can't afford hypnosis right now. Well, I spend my money on a lot of other things that I both want and need. It seems impossible that I could stop after all these years. I'm especially bad in theatres in the dark or when I'm reading or watching TV. Twiddling with something is just another form of anxiety action which always leads back to picking. My cuticles are dry and ragged. My thumbs are sore. I feel like such an unattractive old lady. I just wish I could adjust to how I look at 64. I really look good for my age but I just can't accept it. How? how? how?