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Noscubs , 14 Sep 2009

personality traits of skin pickers?

Hello! I think it would be interesting to know the personality traits of you skin pickers, if there could be any similarities that could help us understand and overcome our problem. It hasn't have to be really serious stuff, just things you find troublesome in your lives. Starting with myself, fear has been a major theme in my life. These are problems I have or have had: - Hypochondria, mostly for brain "illnesses" - Identity crisis, for example related to gender identity - Sexual fears, for example compulsively searching for signs that my boyfriends are pedophiles :( - Fears of being watched. As a child I was convinced that people stared at me, and I thought there was something special/weird about me... :o I often feel really uneasy when people watch me, at times I don't want to look people in the eyes. - As younger, fears of my thoughts being read - Guilt OK, I sound like a total wacko... It's not as bad as it sounds. :) But I would be really happy to know more about your personality traits!
138 Answers
allegory
November 16, 2009
I'm an introvert, intuitive, thinker and judger (INTJ in the MBTI type indicator). I'm anxiety ridden, scatterbrained and analytical to the extreme. I appear confident and knowledgeable in public, even when being in public is the last place I want to be. I'm an all or nothing type of person. I either waste an entire day doing nothing except what needs to be done for survival or I'm working through without a break. I think, plan and organize well but seem to be incapable of putting things into action on a regular basis. I'm a control freak, but have no self-control when it comes to the picking/biting. I've come to the conclusion that the need for control is where the picking comes from. It all started after a semi-traumatic experience as a child that left me feeling out of control and unsafe. The biting relieves my anxiety like nothing else, save exercise.
crzygirl22
November 24, 2009

In reply to by allegory

Omg your freaking me out because you just described me! I am 23 and have been picking for 20 years. When I was younger my parents thought nothing of it and did nothing for it. My doctors would make comments but it wasnt even a big deal to them. I have a lot of fears.. most of them are things I shouldnt even think about. I have a horrible fear of dying and whats after all this, I am a control freak but as you said have no control. And I too feel as though it comes from the fact that I could never control myself so I tried to control everything and everyone around me. It has cost me all my friends, because I have never been the best person to be around. As much as I loved them and cared about them, I was jealous of them. I always hated talking about my body because it was like people always thought I was fishing. My friends would always tell me our your so pretty and your just being dumb, but they have no idea what its like to hate your body from the moment you can think. People just dont see how this disorder effects you day to day. Besides that I am horribly anxiety ridden. I still feel guilty over things I did when I was a child. Its like my stomach is always dropping. My thoughts are wild, I can't concentrate on anything. And my mind always goes to the worst possible senario. I am like you in the way that you do nothing or everything, there are days when I just cant get off the couch. There are days when I just cant see the point of anything.
Nemji
December 28, 2009

In reply to by allegory

Wow, I am exactly like that! I either do nothing all day or work through it like no tomorrow. Can't believe there are other people like that...I am so not alone! My boyfriend scolds me and sometimes laughs at me at the amount of work I do within a day.
wanttobefree
December 29, 2009

In reply to by allegory

Thank you so much for your post. As I read it, I thought I was reading my own story. I've battled my skin picking/biting problem for the vast majority of my life (I'm in my 30s) and I've hidden it from the world out of total fear of what people will think and also because of the shame I feel for doing something so "nasty" and "disturbing." I am also introverted and over-analytical, which is why this condition frustrates me so much--I can't reason my way out of it. I am a well-educated and somewhat successful person, yet I often lack concentration and my work productivity suffers as a result. When my mind wanders during these episodes, I find myself picking and biting my fingers almost as a reflex. It has gotten to the point that my inability to focus at work has worsened my tendency to procrastinate, which only adds to the anxiety I am already feeling. I view myself as damaged because I can't quite get control of my life and my constant anxiety and lack of focus has, in turn, prevented me from taking chances when it comes to my career and my relationships. I am somewhat at a loss as to why I do what I do because I don't feel like I had a traumatic childhood, yet I have struggled with self-esteem issues, deep-seeded insecurities, and depression my entire life. I do believe some of these problems might have arisen because of my mother, who I feel was overprotective, critical, and controlling of me during my childhood, but overall I felt loved and thought she did a pretty good job as a mother. I don't want to blame her for the way that I am, but I just want to understand why I am this way and how to overcome my issues. I've been seriously considering therapy, but I'm unsure as to who has the requisite knowledge to best deal with my situation and I don't want to ask others to help me find that help because my secret is so embarrassing.
ocdFreak
February 15, 2010

In reply to by allegory

I've read through some of the posts and it really seems like almost everyone is saying 'I felt like I was reading my own story after reading your post....' and I have to say, I agree with them! I think we are all discovering that we definitely all have a few things in common that has caused this picking disorder. Me, I am dichotomous like a Gemini I guess. I am like two people in one, and they conflict all the time. One one end, I am laid back and go with the flow. On the other, I am so high strung. Things stress me out! I will spend a whole day studying and doing all the work I need in a week - but in a day! Or, I will be lazy and KNOW that I should be doing things, and I'll think about them without feeling any drive to get anything done (but of course, when things don't get done, there are consequences, which stresses me). Either I think pessimistically and get depressed and pick, or I think positively and get more depressed if things don't work out my way, then I pick more. Traumatic childhood things...we parallel each other again. We have all seemed to have them, and I am no exception. Abuse, neglect, shame, depression and fear are all apart of my childhood as well. I started picking without realizing that it was the disorder's version of general stress release. My stupid abusive parents didn't understand it and didn't really care to either. Now I am left with this and all of their pessimistic voices have internalized in my head. So it's like I'm still suffering beneath them. And it shouldn't be that way for any of us. We are not attached to those lifestyles anymore, yet the effects of such lifestyles have followed us, as though they have become who we are. I am an introvert and there might be a control issue, I haven't really thought about that. I do go to extremes though. and picking does relieve my anxiety ridden mind for a moment or two. I hardly care to be around that many people anymore actually, which bugs me because I was fairly social at one point.
frightening bug
November 17, 2009
I'm a 25 y/o female. Today is my first day actually having the guts to Google,"skin picking". I've been in denial for so long. I'm not entirely self-loathing. I am a little overweight, but I've been in shape before, and I have recently started a new routine. But I don't feel pretty anymore. I don't know what my problem is... other than I'm entirely self destructive at times. I've been picking, I guess, for a few years. It started when I was in the military, probably in 05 or 06. I can't say much else about it, other than I hate doing it and want to quit. If I can kick smoking and nicotine cold turkey, I should be able to handle this. This feels 10x harder. I just separated from the military in May... and moved to my husband's home state. I have no friends; they've all been left behind for the most part. I just started college and I find today's youth to be... I don't know. I want to say naive... but I know how bad it probably sounds. I guess I feel very misunderstood. And completely invisible. And jealous. And resentful in many ways. So... my problem has gotten worse. I've sought help with my husband, but he turns a blind eye. It's nice hearing you're beautiful, but it loses meaning when you no longer believe it. I just want help. I feel desperate. Sorry to unload... feels good to vent. Thanks.
Maya
November 18, 2009
Hi. I'm new here. I have been removing the inside of my lips and cheeks with the aid of the nuckle of my left hand ( i don't know why left since i'm right handed). I do it constantly and am unable to stop. It is excruciatingly painful. My traits: I tend to talk and talk until i drive the people around me crazy and they just want to kill themselves or me. I jump from one topic right to another one. I am a fast talker and can get many words said very quickly. I tend to wear out the person closest to me- my mom. I tend to make lists or write down intrusive or worrisome thoughts and read them to to mom or with the intention of reading it to a therapist. I hate my body, i weigh 158 kilos ( but am dieting and eating healthy now) and my boobs have totally sagged and are now very huge. I constantly think about this and talk non stop about having plastic surgery done once i loose the weight. I have never been in a realationship and haven't worked in 8 years. I hardly leave the house, only recently started going shopping. I hate spending money and constantly ask what things cost and check how much money i then have left. I have anger control issues, am always getting picked on and belittled by family members, they call me a whiner. I tend to get verbally agressive and have crying spells. I also feel unmotivated most of the time and prefer to just stay home in apposed to searching for work or excersizing. I go days at a time with no or very little sleep, tend to overthink things, worry about things like: having nothing to offer the opposite sex, nobody will want me, will think i'm wierd, or negative, or don't like to havefun and so on. I have severe feelings of being inferior, different than others. I spend many hours online on depression and ocd forums, dating sites which i never answer a single message, msn, facebook. I obsess about the same things over and over. I am always very bitter, extremely angry and negative in nature. Am afraid to date and have a man see this in me. When trying to fall asleep, my mind will wander on thoughts, usually not important ones. I f i gotta get up the next morning early i'll feel stressed and can't sleep, or if i gotta get somewhere at certain time also i feel anxious and check the watch all through the night. I read about the same things over and over. I over analyse things.
hyperbole
November 18, 2009
Im an eighteen year old female suffering from years of skin-picking. I also have acne excioree as a result of it. Generally an introvert. I am a complete slob and extremely unorganized, yet In my head I hold myself and my image to unreachable perfectionist ideals. I started picking when I was eight years old after a very close relative of mine passed on. My parents have been very aware of my situation and have exhausted all efforts to get me to stop. I've spent years coveering my bathroom mirror with paper just to rip it down on impulse and repeat the cycle. I've tried wearing gloves while in picking-situations (driving, watching television, in class, in bed) which have hardly helped, seeing that i always lose my gloves. I have been diagnosed with disorders such as depression, ocd, bipolarism and have been hospitalized for an eating disorder.
Kali
November 19, 2009
Wow! I just read through everybodys posts and I can relate to so much of it. Please don't take this wrong because I do care about people, I want everyone to be healthy and happy and to do the right thing. However I don't really LIKE people all that much, I know that sounds crazy but I am sort of crazy so it makes sense to me. I am the youngest of 3, my sisters are 13 & 14 yrs older than me and my parents were married 14 yrs before I came along. I was an accident, my folks were seperated but got together at least once. My Mom was going to abort me but she was afraid she'd die since abortion was illegal in 1963 and she was afraid she'd leave my sisters motherless. Her own mother died when she was only 5 yrs old. So reluctantly she kept me and later said I was the joy of her life. Her actions as a parent to me however say different. My folks were officially divorced by the time I was 4 but while they were still married they fought visciously and my dad beat my mom often and brutally. I unfortunately got to witness this on several occasions as a toddler. I was terrified of the dark into my teens. It was paralyzing, heart pounding, trembling fear, I had to have the hall light on and my door all the way open, it had to be flush against the wall, the closet HAD to be closed and never would I let an arm or leg dangle over the edge of the bed. I would gladly have slept with all the lights in the house on every night and the TV too. I often awoke during the night to a dark house and would sneak into my Moms room and crawl into bed with her, this happened almost every night. I never could go anywhere by myself if I had to be in any significant darkness, I would cry and refuse to go alone. I was sexually abused by my mothers boyfriend at 4 yrs. sex abused again at 5 from the babysitters teenage son, then again by the next new babysitter at 8, my cousin forced me sexually at 8 -12 yrs old when I was dumped at my aunts house in the mountains for the summer months. I had always been a cooperative, passive, submissive and painfully shy child. By 12 yrs I occassionally acted out agressively, physically hurting those that bullied or hurt me and if they only knew what I really wanted to do! So these are some of my reasons for not liking, nor trusting people, yet strangely I am openly telling my darkest secrets and torments to complete strangers. My worst trauma though was when I was 16, my dad was a crappy father and seldom around, I therefore desperately craved male attention. At 15 I fell deeply, intensely in love with a troublemaker of a boy, who was just a few months older than me. After 5 months of dating we had sex for the first time, within a year I was pregnant and terrified. I fantasized about getting married and having our baby but deep down I think I knew this was never going to happen. I decided I wanted my baby but was afraid to tell my mom because of her longtime boyfriend who was so cruelly critical and verbally abusive to me. I finally told a friend about the baby and she told me about abortion, that it wasn't really a baby yet, just some blobby cells and nobody would ever know. I didn't really want to do this, I loved and wanted my baby, but she convinced me to go to Planned Parenthood and talk to them, so I did. The woman there was such a bully, she told me how irresponsible I was, that I was completely selfish and not even considering the welfare of my child. What kind of miserable life would I inflict upon him or her and that the most unselfish, mature and loving thing I could do was not bring it into a world of misery. I have never felt so horrible in all my life, I was still putting my trust in those of "authority" those that apparently knew much better than I how to make a decent decision. After all, it was my fault, I was told, that I allowed myself to be molested as kid, so who am I to trust my own instincts, right? So I let this woman set up an appointment for me and the next day, at nearly 3 months pregnant I PAID a butcher to kill my baby. This happened 30 yrs ago this past August and I am still devestated about this, nor will I ever forgive those that convinced me to do this.I don't think I will ever forgive myself either. I am furious with my now dead parents at their selfish, stupid and thoughtless parenting, I hate and wish an eternity of hell and torment on that Planned Parenthood woman,on the entire organization, that butcher doctor and I hate myself for being weak and fearful and not standing up for myself and my poor innocent baby. When I got married and had children and knew what it was like to have a baby to love and protect, the horror and enormity of it all came crashing in more than ever. I picked a little bit as a child, a skinned knee or pick at finger nails or bit them but the face picking started in earnest when I was 16. I don't like to look people in the eye and turn away if I feel they are looking at me too close. I am not social, don't like crowds, I like solitude, quiet, the forest and mountains and animals fill a deep void. I never speak in public unless it is about animals and it's to children or seniors, I don't do well with peers. I hate my body, I feel inferior, stupid and worthless a great deal of the time but try to hide it from others because nobody likes a cry baby complainer. I don't have many friends and don't let people get too close, but when I open up it always seems like I over do it. Kind of like now. Hi, wanna hear my whole life story??? I have some OCD issues, I don't touch door handles, faucet handles, I won't use the hand driers in public bathrooms and feel like throwing my clothes away after I come back home from a public place. I used to keep a meticulous house but over the years things have gotten so overwhelming I can no longer keep up. I am all or nothing, so nothing ever gets done or cleaned, I have a tendency to cut out great articles, recipes etc for future reference, it was starting to become a problem so I had to quit doing that completely. I no longer subscribe to magazines, I can keep them all on the computer though without the physical clutter. I hate clutter, I don't like high pitched noises, beeping sounds, makes me want to smash whatever is making the noise. Well I could go on forever I suppose but I will be surprised if anyone can finish reading this excessively long post. Thanks for listening if you've gotten this far. No offense because this applies to me too, but we sure are screwed up.
Beth
November 19, 2009

In reply to by Kali

Wow, so many of us have started out with trauma early on in life. Do we pick because we're taking it out on ourselves? Or maybe we're trying to gain control over something. Kali, it's interesting for me to see that you're bothered by high-pitched noises also, because that's a big problem for me. Sometimes the sound of a television set on mute makes me want to scream. I also have intense urges to smash things, which I sometimes give in to (much to my later embarrassment).
Kali
November 19, 2009

In reply to by Beth

I myself have destroyed numerous alarm clocks and have even dreamed about beeping or high pitched noises that I cannot turn off! In the dream I try and try and no matter how smashed the offending noise maker is, it never stops beeping, then I wake up. Also curious whether these noises make you angry or just very irritated? I become infuriated but of course have to keep it in unless I want to look like a raving lunatic in front of others. LOL Also my heart starts keeping beat with the beeping or just starts to pound hard if it's a high pitched noise and won't quit unless I get away from the noise. Strange.
Beth
November 20, 2009

In reply to by Kali

For me, I usually just feeled overwhelmed by high-pitched noises. The only time I really get angry is if I'm already stressed about something else and trying to focus. Interestingly, since I started taking Prozac a few months ago it's much better (the picking hasn't changed however).
Popcorn47
August 24, 2010

In reply to by Beth

Wow, this is kind of freaky. I also have a "thing" about high pitched, high frequency noises. They drive me nuts. If I didn't know better (and actually, I don't), it sounds like we're all part of some alien abduction plot with implants or something. It's just so bizarre, got to admit.
muchomalgato
November 21, 2009
I'm 23 and a new mom. I started skin picking when I was in the 3rd grade, shortly after my parents divorced and I was uprooted to a new state. I was the heaviest girl in my class. I had sores that looked like cigarette burns on my arms for several years. I got a scratch over a freckle that made it look like the loathed freckle had disappeared, so I began picking at other freckles. It got considerably worse in high school with acne. My face, neck, shoulders and breasts became (to me) horribly scarred, but I couldn't stop. I went to a counselor once in college, but she told me I was blowing things out of proportion because I had no scars to show her (I didn't tell her about my chest) - what was on my face looked like an ordinary breakout. It's incredibly nice to find people who understand what I'm going through and why I havn't been able to stop. The thing that has been bothering me the most about this compulsion (besides my complexion) is how my mind tends to 'check out' and I hardly realize I'm doing it until someone catches me and I 'wake up.' It's like I go into a daydream or something.
Hopingforhope
September 26, 2015

In reply to by muchomalgato

"I went to a counselor once in college, but she told me I was blowing things out of proportion because I had no scars to show her."

That right there is the reason why people go untreated and things spiral out of control.

Why would anyone say such a terrible thing when it takes so much courage to ask for help in the first place.

I'm really sorry that happened :(

crzygirl22
November 24, 2009
Okay so I have been reading everyones post and shit.. we should be our own research group!! We all have baseless fears and anxiety. We all strive for perfection because we are so broken. Alot of us seem to have racing thoughts and an inability to focus on anything but picking. I too have many other complusions which some of you mentioned like kleptomania, lying, day dreaming (i live more in fantasy then life). There seems to be a lot of guilty feelings that we cant control, and of course depression. Everyone is having an idenity crisis.. and not the normal kind which everyone has always written off our problem to, but serious crisis. We are all deep deep thinkers (too deep) which make us examine everything almost obsessively. I personally have a very addictive personality and always have. I also noticed that like myself, alot of you seem to think in worse case senarios. This thing that controls are life seems to come from a place of trauma (which is where Im screwed because as far as i know, though the doctors beg differ, nothing major has ever happened to me). I am so happy I found this site because for the first time in my life I realize I am not a freak and that other people think and live the way I do. Now.. what to do about it!?!?!?!
Kali
November 24, 2009

In reply to by crzygirl22

Hi Crzygirl 22, I'm new here too and having been wondering if anyone here is in therapy now or in the past and how has it helped or not?? This site has an online therapy with an actual doctor as well as a list of doctors/therapists in various locations that deals specifically with our special problem. I am considering trying this sites online therapy, I babysit my grandson everyday and this poses a problem of visiting a therapist in person. I have never been in therapy for any of my issues, I always thought I could conquer them myself, but at 46 yrs old I am finding that I haven't been able to put enough behind me to have a good life consistently and to also rid myself or at the very least reduce the skin picking. What do feel about therapy, have you ever been???

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