Annoyed when someone stops you from picking?

Posted February 20th, 2008 by seerelated
Does anyone else get an extremely frustrated feeling when someone grabs your hand away when you're picking? My sister always slaps my hand away or yells at me when I start to pick, and I get so annoyed because if the entire scab isn't gone, I'll go insane. And I can't keep picking right in front of her because she will just stop me again so I either have to secretly do it or leave the room and finish there. Does anyone else do this?
‹ I want to help my friend but she refuses! Please help me. I'm ruining my life ›
On July 6th, 2011 purplefrog11 said:
I can relate to this 100%. In fact, it just happened to me the other day. My boyfriend, who is very sympathetic and just wants to help, sometimes tries to gently stop me when he sees me picking. When he does this, I suddenly get extremely irritable. Before I know it, I'm having a full-on anxiety attack. When this happens, I don't want to be touched or looked at, because I'm so ashamed of myself and I feel out of control. It made me realize just how much picking is an anxiety-related issue. Picking is my way of releasing anxiety, and when someone takes it away from me, I freak out and have to express it another way--an anxiety attack. Doing other things with my hands helps a little, but there is nothing as satisfying for us pickers than the feeling we get from picking. It's so awful. I feel so trapped....
On June 29th, 2011 rhans59 said:
hi
On October 14th, 2010 bottervliegie said:
When I was at home my sisters and my mother would scold me for picking and also slap my hand away. I HATED that! But now I've asked my husband to help me when I'm picking unconciously. I specifically asked him to do it gently and not say something like "no" or "stop", because that makes me feel like a naughty child caught with my hand in the cookie jar! The way he does it doesn't make me angry, it's more like waking up from a dream and realising what I'm doing.
On June 30th, 2011 Victoriassecret said:
Botter, your comment about how your scab picking was subconscious a lot of the time really hit home. Acne and mosquito bites are my enemy. I'll scratch in my sleep and then I'll wake up with scabs. Then those scabs will be there for months because I'll pick and pick and pick, then when the scab is gone ill dig and dig and dig. Even when there's nothing left I'm either convinced there's STILL something left to get out and I'll attack the area, or I'll reach down and pick without even knowing I'm doing it. The only way I ever even realize I'm doing it is either when I get reprimanded by my boyfriend or if I feel my fingers have gotten wet from the blood running down my skin. :/ gr. Have you found any methods that help with the subconscious picking? Because it's one thing when I pick my acne knowingly and on purpose, but I can't even START thinking of how I can tackle the subconscious picking of my scabs because once I've started I CAN'T just leave half a scab. I have to get it all. Then I'm screwed because once I start, I'll dig at any raised tiny bump on the whole arm/leg :( Any advice would help. Thanks! Victoria
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On August 28th, 2008 anxiousallie said:
God yes! I always tell people when I am not picking to make me stop and when they do I either smile or get more frustrated and pick more.Just like any compulsion it is so very frustrating to explain. Unless you have "picked" there is no way to empathize and truly grasp the control. Too bad the ssri i take everyday doesnt help.... I need to paint a cognitive wheel on my ceiling or something. lol
On August 26th, 2008 violentmonkey said:
I used to. I had a coworker up until a weekend ago, who would slap my arm when she'd see me picking. Which I know is out of caring.
On August 22nd, 2008 Anomar1 said:
For as long as I can remember I picked. I have always picked the center of my top lip. My family had always been okay with it. They were already so used to it, it never bothered them, and if it did, they never said anything. Now that I am married, my husband tends to pull my hand away or tell me to quit it when he sees me. It makes me so mad. I will sometimes stop, then I just find myself biting the inside of my lips. Most of the time though I will just move away from him so I can continue. Someone said it was a comfort, I agree. I tend to pick at a lot more than just my lips though. Scabs, cuticles, dead skin after a sun burn. I have also found myself picking at things other than my body, if I can peel it, I will. The other night I even found myself trying to pick at my lip while my husband and I were being intimate. To me it's a security, a comfort. Almost like a childs "blankie" (blanket). I never though there was anything wrong with me, and I still don't, I am just glad to see I am not the only one who does this.
On August 27th, 2008 agnesuk said:
Im the same, I will pick anything. I remember when I was little I would put glue on things so I could peel it off when it dired, or if paint was peeling of doors id pick it. I think it is a comfort thing to do
On June 30th, 2011 Victoriassecret said:
The most frustrating thing I do, other than destroying my own face (obviously), is that I find myself constantly wanting to pick OTHER people's skin. If I see and scab or a blemish on someone else (my boyfrend's blackheads are the worst for me) I just obsess over it until I can get my hands on them. I can't even look my boyfriend in the face without analyzing his every bump and blemish and I hate it because I think he's so perfect and handsome I can't stand that the litltle things jump off his face at me and scream to be squeezed out. He'll eventually give in most of the time and let me get them but I can't stop at just one. I end up making his face all red and bumpy because of MY issue. Ugh I hate this. He really encourages me to stop but he doesn't understand how hard it is...
On October 14th, 2010 bottervliegie said:
Oh yeah, the glue thing! We used to spread wood lue on our palm and pull it off, even wrote notes to each other on it! I loved doing that as a kid. Maybe that's why I still pull off any kind of loose or flaky skin.
On July 21st, 2008 agnesuk said:
Definately, whenever my family see me, they make me show them my hands and stuff, and stare at them and discuss them, like its not bed enough, without everyone discussing it. its really frustrated when your picking at a scab and someone slaps your hand or grabs hold of your hand so you cant even move
On July 21st, 2008 altacia55 said:
I can TOTALLY empathize where you're coming from! It's one of the most frustrating things because while you realize you're doing something wrong, you still want to do it!
On July 16th, 2008 kaille said:
I totally understand your frustration because i pick both my fingers and toes. I usually try to pick when I am alone but sometimes I start to do it in front of my mom when we are watching tv or driving without realizing it. She says," Stop picking!" or "Poor toes" and when she says that I get so frustrated i snap back at her like ," I know!!! Stop nagging me!!!" And then afterwards I feel so bad because I know she is trying to help me so my picking gets worse. I am 16 and I just can't stop and when someone points it out I get so embarrassed I protect myself by getting mad.
On June 26th, 2008 timetostop said:
Yes!! I can't think of any time I've ever felt such frustration. I cant stop myself from picking at my arms and legs, and my boyfriend knows I do it, so I've asked him to stop me. The problem is everytime he tries to stop me I get really angry. Sometimes I get so frustrated I actually cry. That moment when I realise hes right and I don't actually want to pick, but something inside me still forces me, its so upsetting. The worst is if I've already chosen a spot or scab or blemish or whatever and I'm about to pick it. If he stops me then I always whinge at him "noo please let me finish this one please". I really plead. Its pathetic. I actually phisically fight back if hes holding me, I even run away. Anything so I can finish that last one. But then of course I carry on and on and I can never stop. Its heartbreaking for me that I'm so horrible to him when hes only trying to help, but I cant help it. Its like I become a different person and nothing else matters apart from picking. I even stop caring about my boyfriend's feelings when I'm picking, which is so terrible and sad, because really his feelings are the most important thing in the world to me. When I wake up from my trance and realise that all he wanted to do was give me a hug, and I pushed him away I feel so guilty. So I deal with it all by picking again.
On October 11th, 2010 momofapicker said:
My daughter pics and I have talked with her about it and told her I will just send you a quiet sign with my hand so as not to embarass her in front of people, because she will pick anywhere anytime and she picks over her entire body and most of the time it is for no reason, there is nothing there. She gets very angry with me when I try to stop her and becomes very agressive and volitile. She has always picked but when she was about 13-15 she started cutting herself rather than pick. She finally stopped the cutting and now as she is approaching 20 she picks even more so. She picks daily..hourly..she probably has about 300 purple marks over her legs, back, arms, chest, buttox and face. She is such a beautiful girl it just breaks my heart to see her mutilate herself like this. Please tell what I can do to help her. Mom
On October 11th, 2010 socalgal said:
Oh my gosh, my heart breaks for you...as a mom of two beautiful children, the thought of them hurting themselves in this way is devistating!!! i have been a picker for years, but not a extreme picker...I show all my skin and just have episodes now and then..my biggest fear is that my children will get my nervous picking habit...my daughter was biting her nails and this is why I responded to your letter...I got her (3.5 yrs at the time) to stop biting her nails completely...and it was extreme believe me...down to blood sometimes..the way I did it was with positive reinforcement and re direction...What is your daughters FAVORITE thing in this world that you could provide her with if she were to finish a chart....first start with a 7 day chart...and tell her you will keep starting over at the first day if she picks..If she can go for a full 7 days without picking take her to the mall or lunch of her choice and let her fell REWARDED by you..with something small like a shirt or movie...then double the amount of days and same rules apply...if she can go 14 days with out picking (using a sticker chart, so she can see her progress) give her a slightly larger reward....then add another 10 to the 14...so that would be 24 on the next chart..and perhaps if she can go 50 days make that the BIG reward...trip with mom or a sought after purchase she has been longing for...praise her daily and tell her how you are breaking a terrible habit together and you will help her find healthier ways soothe herself, because she is so young she is going to come to regret all the damage she is causing herself..best of luck Rachel
On June 7th, 2008 loveblue said:
Oh God, yes! I hate it when people say something. I go to the bathroom and spend hours there. I gets so annoyed that a person interupts me. In a weird way it makes happy...? I don't know. I just found out that what I'm doing is a real condition today, so this is very new. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm 16 so it good to break this habit now, rather than later.
On June 9th, 2008 wilf said:
hi there, i noticed your age ...you are a similar age to my son who picks, have you stopped picking or do you still do it.... i am really looking for help to deal with it, i am a mum and i care and i would like to hear from someone who has the problem as my son doesnt really talk, although i had a terrible weekend, i was trying to get him to go out in a tee shirt , the tops of his arms are bad but he can get away with a te shirt, hes just so scared of his friends finding out.... i hope you are dealing with yuor problem and my request for help does not upset you
On June 9th, 2008 loveblue said:
No, it doesn't upset me at all. I hope I can help someone else. I do still pick but it has stopped a lot more since I have started using more natural soaps and face creams. Not only do they clean your skin and make the scars fade, but they also get rid of a lot of the pimples and other things that people pick at. Plus when you have nice clear skin you're not going to want to mess that up :). Also you don't really want to force him to do anything, but try to make him go out in t shirts more because he's going to need to get over that and become more confident. Before he does anything to stop the picking, he's going to have to start slow and not hide. I think it's going to be hard to do but if he really wants a change then he can do it. And try to monitor how long he spends in front of the mirror... Even though it will annoy him; hence the topic name.
On May 31st, 2008 want-to-stop said:
yep, I hate that! For me picking produces a sense of relief.... from what I'm not exactly sure, but I sooooo get your feeling of annoyance if the entire scab is not gone.... I NEED it to be gone - ALL gone or I just feel insane! If someone interrupts this, I feel like I want to lash out at them (verbally) like, what right do they have to interrupt me (???) as if what I'm doing isn't totally insane!!!? Oh well, I think it is the 'nature of the beast'! Thanks for this.... I think the more we share, perhaps the better this thing can be better understood.
On May 28th, 2008 rampage23 said:
You are not alone. I get so annoyed when someone tells me to stop picking. I may momentarily stop in front of them, but it will consume my mind, agitate me, and at the first free change, I'll go to a different room or the bathroom and pick away. I hate it.
On May 18th, 2008 RainbowJo2007 said:
Hi everyone I am new to this forum. My husband gets annoyed when I pick the skin off my fingers and yes I will get annoyed when he says something to me. I will go to another room. For me, I just really get pleasure from picking my fingers. I think it has been one of the few pleasures of my life. But I do know that I am hurting myself. I thought I was the only one who ever did this. Wow, I am just kinda shocked right now!
On March 17th, 2008 pickyme said:
Yeah, I get very frustrated when someone physically or verbally stops me from picking. I, too, feel great anxiety until the entire scab is gone. I keep thinking if I can just get rid of the scab then the skin underneath will be smooth and healthy, even though rationally I know that's not the case. I just joined this site and aside from my grandmother and father, I've never known anyone else who picks. I always thought it was a family quirk and no one else did this. It's great to know I'm not the only one out here suffering from this obsession.
On July 21st, 2008 agnesuk said:
I have the same thing about the skin underneath, its like you've got to keep picking until its all the nice smooth skin, and then itl be ok and stay like that. Its so good to hear im not the only person who does that
On March 18th, 2008 seerelated said:
I do the same thing about thinking the skin will be healthy underneath. I think the scabs are ugly and they stop my cuts from breathing so I pick them off. I can't say that's the only reason I pick because I don't even know why I do it, but I do think that my mind says it's making the cuts better if the scabs are gone.
On March 17th, 2008 nolafeline said:
I am the same way. If I catch someone watching me, I have to go to the bathroom or someplace else to finish picking. For me, I MUST get rid of the scab. I hate having scabs on my scalp, so I pick. Then the scab comes back and I pick again. It is a horrible cycle.
On March 13th, 2008 titinani767 said:
Hey,your not alone...i get hit on my hands all the time by my 11 year old stepsonand also co-workers.I get really annoyed that they hit my hands,but i guess i'm annoying them too.When my husband catches me i try to hide my hands to keep doing it.OMG,it's hell!
For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.