I CANNOT STOP PICKING - I LOOK LIKE I HAVE CHICKEN POX

Posted March 29th, 2010 by Mel
I looked in the mirror today and I look like I have chicken pox from picking so bad. I am 29 years old and believe I started really picking 5 years ago. I will use tweezers, needles, and will dig with my finger nails untill they bleed. Then once they scab I will pick for weeks and weeks until I have a huge scar. Now I started picking my pores on my chest! THere is nothing there but I make them and I now have a open scab that I keep picking on my freaking boob, that is about the size of a pea. I see redness around it so I squeeze until the pus is out and it bleeds. I will pick my husbands back too. I can't stop and I need to so bad. I don't know why I have been so bad. There will be nothing on my face at all, or I will get a zit and then I will squeeze and if it doesn't come I will make it. Then I wil pick and pick. I feel hopeless because I do it so often. I pick at my head too. I will sit in the Mirror for and hour picking, or recently I started tweezing. Now I will pull out my little fine hairs on my face, and then pull the hairs from my bikini line, armpits and anywhere else. I just feel so lost with this. I pull the hairs out so they don't become ingrown and then I pick at it for days and weeks. Just now I reached up to pick at a scab with dry skin. WHen I drive I pick, when I read I pick. I can't stop. Please give me some ideas other then only touching a zit once, or finding something to replace it with, or getting my nails done. Thanks.
‹ new to the forum: I pick my scalp & play with my hair NEW - 21 pick/bite lips and skin around fingernails - looking for somone with similar problem so we can help each other stop! ›
On April 5th, 2010 vicstic said:
Firstly, hello ,secondly you sound just like me which is the wonderful thing about this site. Your problem is especially like mine because some people pick fingers, mouths etc but with me its my face which is THE WORST. I used to have acne and got rid of it- now i give myself it. You've made the first step by opening the lines of communication which is already helping me; im hoping to let my latest session heal then never do it again unless completely necessary. With me though its all about perfection and control. Have you considered this? Do you like control and structure in things you do? It may be that by taking a tweezer to your skin you feel as though you are controlling the situation. I thought I was taking control by digging into my skin and causing a scab but its very liberating when you realise that therefore your skin CONTROLS YOU. which is not the desired effect of my squeezing, I want to be in control of my life, we all need to be. Other pointers- take photos, remove any favourite mirrors (magnifying) and distraction- jobs, exercise etc. And try to live well in general as this will make you feel good anyway. Hope this helps and good luck. p.s- also maybe try to identify a trigger- mine is stress. When im stressed i dont comfort eat or anything, i pick and pick and pick until i look like a car wreck.
On March 30th, 2010 40daysfromnow said:
Get your hubby to take/hide your damaging tools and tell him to only let you have then if you NEED them and he agrees. Ask him to be in the bathroom with you while you get ready in the morning. Don't pick at your husband: ask him not to let you. ummmm. Besides applying makeup in the morning with your hubby there, don't turn on the bathroom lights. This has been the easiest and best trick for me. I know how frustrating it is. Best of luck
On March 30th, 2010 Mel said:
This is the first time I have ever seen a forum like this. Today I kept the makeup off all day, but then I washed, looked, picked, covered with Sulfer meds and then waited, covered with clindimyacin, washed, put retin a on, washed, retin a, then washed and now I reach up and feel scabs and start to peel scabs again. I am not in the mirror at all. I haven't been turning on the lights since you mentioned it, but when I go to the gym in the morning, I still spot my redness then work out and come home and wash and the cycle starts, so how can I keep from popping white heads, I mean I cannot leave pus on my face, so I will pop, infact if I see something that even is raised that has fluid in it, I will pop it. Tomorrow would be day one when I think as long as I check on here for support, I will not pick. I appreciate the ideas for the bathroom. I am currently attending school online, and I am home. I get up at 5am and go to the gym and then I come home and help get my husband out the door. Then I do my reading and get my daughter off to school, then go for a run and come home. There are no times I am in the BR with him but evening on occasion, so he always tells me to stop, but I don't listen. I will stand there with the shower running and pick until the mirror fogs up. So I have to start with a fresh face tomorrow and just do whatever I can to not touch my face, or chest at all. Thanks
On March 30th, 2010 wildflower said:
any day that you do not have to go out to face the world, immediately after washing your face first thing on your day, put bandages on each and every pimple, bump, white head, black head or sore you would normally be compelled to pick at and leave them on all day and all night. put that barrier between your blemishes and your fingertips and tools. use bandages as often as you can for as long as you can and for sure every night. if your sores aren't surely infected, they won't need anything else but that covering to heal significantly in a relatively short time. what they need most is to be left alone and allowed to heal. read up as many of the posts on this site as you can. research on this topic as much as you can. research healthy practices. make a plan. share it to be accountable to it. stick to it. but i can't say enough how important bandages can be. all the best to you <3 <3 <3
On March 31st, 2010 Mel said:
Thank you wildflower. I have to admit today I didn't touch my face at all, then in the evening, I noticed a white head and popped it. But I washed my face and haven't touched anything else. Are you saying bandaids on the face too, I can try it. II have one on the thing I have been picking for 3 weeks so I will keep up on it. I have been reading a lot, and so many of these posts are helping. Thank you again for your time.
On March 31st, 2010 wildflower said:
yes, i'm suggesting bandages on your face too. i've called myself the bandage queen and believe i have kept riteaid afloat single handedly for years! lol i have had bandages on somewhere or other, literally every night for years until this past month. there've been nights i've had up to 60 bandages on me. one spell, i had 20 on my face and neck and 20 on each of my butt cheeks totaling 60. bandages on my face at night were a regular occurrence. my skin, being sensitive had me seek long and hard for bandages that didn't irritate my skin and the riteaid latex free round ones fit the bill. they also have the largest pad of all the round ones. curad fabric ones worked in a pinch. nexus fabric ones too for larger sores. i feel like i'm a bandage specialist. those all stick well too but keep moisturizers away from any adhesive. i don't think i could have survived as long as i have without bandages and their healing properties. i believe because of them my scarring has been minimized too. it was great you made it through most of the day without succumbing where you once would have. tomorrow will be another day and hopefully you'll make it through it. tell your self each day that you will not pick that day and you'll give yourself permission to pick tomorrow (and of course when tomorrow comes you'll say the same thing again) and it won't seem like the task is that difficult. i hope you don't mind these words of advice along with my encouragement. i mean well. :) <3 <3 <3
For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.