I'm a woman and I pick my breasts! Does anyone else?


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November 13, 2011

What a good man!
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January 06, 2011

I pick my breasts a little bit, but not nearly as much as the rest of me mostly because there aren't many flaws to pick. Cate- I am wondering the same thing. I have been with the same guy for 2 1/2 years and I just say 'oh, I scar easily' but I am sure he has noticed my picking. He's nice enough to not bring it up, but I would like to discuss it more. I mentioned today that I found this site and think I obsessively pick, and he and my sister laughed and changed the subject.
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January 08, 2011

I'm sorry they reacted like that when you tried to bring it up. I've found that bringing up things like this is so hard because people who don't do it are very uncomfortable talking about it and react badly because of that. I think that my scars and scabs, at least at the moment, would not hold up to me saying I scar easily. To be honest, I have thought of inventing some fiction to cover it up - childhood chickenpox or something, but I don't want to do lie about something like this in a relationship. Are you going to try to bring it up to your boyfriend again? I really don't know how I'll bring it up to mine, not yet at least. He hasn't even been really intimate with someone before so I have no idea what his idea of what breasts should look like is, i.e. the stuff that's in magazines these days.
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February 24, 2011

i told my best friends last summer that i was attacked by mosquitoes, haha...but, seriously, i've had a bf for many years now and he's the one who told me what this disorder was and sent me a link to this site. i've always "picked my face because i have acne." he noticed it was getting a lot worse a few years ago and there was A LOT of embarrassment, tears, screaming, fighting, silence, shame, etc. before i had the courage to look at the links he sent me. i was really angry for a long time with him, thinking "eff you, back off, i'm fine, i'm not gonna look at this stupid info." how wrong was i!! i would suggest talking to your bf alone, w/out the sister. also, talk to him right after you've had an attack. it might make the seriousness resonate a bit more. it's actually brought us so much closer together (emotionally, not physically unfortunately). my legs are my worst area. and i've noticed that b/c of my legs, i absolutely never want to take my clothes off in front of him. and i surely don't want to have sex. all the scars and scabs make me feel introverted and shy with him...but dare i say, it also gives me a quantifiable excuse as to why i feel uncomfortable being naked in the first place. sometimes, being covered up with sweats is a relief.
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January 07, 2011

i am 22 and just found this site, oddly i found out what the name of this thing i do while watching law and order and it just triggered so much in me, i have been crying ever since! I pick everwhere but my breasts most of all i leave huge horrible scabs that take ages to heal and then scar badly. im so glad (and suprised) that i am not alone!
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January 07, 2011

I never knew it had a name. I always thought I was a freak. Looking back, I can now connect my picking to events in my life that traumatized me or times when I was so alone I just wanted to excape into "anything but this". Im now 17 and I have scars on my breasts (especially around my arreolas). I started when I was 11. It's incredible to me how similiar our stories are. We're connected by this compulsion and I think it's safe to say a lot of us have ostrasized ourselves because of the physical consequences of this need. I noticed that most of us started picking either before puberty or during the early onset of it. It almost seems freudian to me the way we're picking away at our womanhood at such an early age, completely unaware of the shame that will accompany the scars we have created. I've avoided sleepovers and boyfriends and swimming pools and showers and any other place where my breasts could possibly be displayed. I've always been scared to talk about it. Picking has always been my secret and only recently did it click inside my head that this was a compulsive behavior. In the past I have always allowed shame to push the seriousness of my situation out of my head. But now I crave contact with people who understand. I love my friends and family but I don't want to "come out" to them as a picker. I'm thankful to know I'm not the only one. Anyone care to connect?
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January 08, 2011

I'm glad you found the site. I only recently found it myself and it has helped me deal with some of the shame I have about this compulsion. One of the worst parts is, as you said, that it seems to me as though I have destroyed the body part most associated with femininity. I would like to connect with people who are dealing with this and understand as well.
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January 08, 2011

here's my email, message me sometime:] angelicajoy1360@yahoo.com
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November 13, 2011

nottheonlyone, You express yourself very well. I like your Freudian spin on things. I wonder, if we started attacking our womanhood before we really even had it, where do you think that comes from? I mean, how does an 11 year old learn to hate her developing body? I wonder if this has something to do with our mothers...either their view of their own femininity / role or their wish for us to stay children and not grow up and be their equals / competitors /replacements? (Sorry that may have been a little TOO Freudian.) Thanks for your post; like you, I feel comforted by all of the people "like me" on this site.
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January 18, 2011

Thank God I am not the only one! I have been picking at my breasts and buttocks since puberty I would say. (I am 29 now). I fear getting intimate because I am so ashamed. I was also diagnosed with Trichotillomania when I was 14 and underwent behavior therapy and that helped. I am 'mostly' in remission from trich but the picking has continued. I am seriously considering getting whitening cream to lighten the scars.
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January 29, 2011

I pick at my breasts too and it has affected my life more than any other area I pick at. I started about 1 or 2 years ago. I don't remember why I started picking there in the first place but to me it's become the most addictive. Considering that I am young and girls my age like to show off their boobs by wearing low cut shirts, I often feel left out. I can't wear anything low cut because of my scars. What makes this worse is the fact that I have a petite figure but very large breasts. My friends always pick out somewhat revealing clothes for me or tell me I need to flaunt what I've got and stop dressing so conservatively, but they don't understand that even though I want to, I can't. Picking at that area has also kept me from getting intimate with anyone. I currrently have a boyfriend but I've never let him see or even feel my boobs because I'm terrified he will think I'm disgusting and leave me for someone who is scar free.
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February 23, 2011

I am so glad I found this forum and post. I am 45 and have been skin picking since puberty (probably earlier). I mainly pick the chest and breast area and have been doing this since my late teens. I have recently been doing a lot of self watching: writing down when I pick, my thoughts and feelings (that's when I'm lucky enough to catch them), triggers, picking routine etc... Due to me mainly picking in the bathroom in the evening and getting into a trance state I have removed all mirrors from my flat except the one in the bathroom but I have taken out the bright fluorescent light above the one mirror which created perfect light for finding all blemishes and imperfections large and small. The only lighting is an overhead light that limits my close inspection which lead to picking marathons. I have put an egg timer in the bathroom and as soon as I enter I set it for 10mins sometimes I go straight to the mirror and start to pick or as with picking my breasts I don't always use the mirror; regardless I will try and set the timer as soon as I can tear myself away. When it loudly goes off it snaps me out of the trance like state, if the urges are strong I'll reset but often than not this is enough to jolt me out of the trance, take deep breaths, avoid mentally beating myself up and make the choice to stop (it puts me at the mental cross roads to leave or continue and the choice is hard but it allows space for this choice). This year I have been 18days skin picking free, then I erratically began picking my breast again. The past week I have been relatively 'free' of skin picking except 3 very small sessions 15mins, 5mins and 3mins until last night when I gave in to a 2hr session. This morning my chest although blemished and sore is not as bad as it would of been if I hadn't had the days free of skin picking. Other things I am trying to do is relieve anxiety and stress by practicing meditation and attending hot yoga which is great for getting rid of clogged pores but be aware initially as it will bring out spots as you detox. Hot yoga as well as keeping my anxiety at bay encourages me to drink lots of water which is also great for clearing up the skin. I know false nails can help some people but I cut my nails very short which limits the damage I cause to my breast. I know I will always have a scarred and blemished chests but the human body if given the chance will heal and improve the texture and look of the skin. After 18days of not picking my skin looked and felt loads better. Today is a new day and I am going to start again. Another one of my triggers is coffee because it over stimulates me and interferes with my sleep (I had 2 expressos yesterday) so I am going to give up coffee for the next days. I hope some of this is of help, I know everyone's path to stopping this destructive, depressing habit is different but please have hope and be kind to yourself. For every negative destructive thought you hold of yourself find positive affirmations to counter them, talk to your self as if to a dear friend or family and try and stop negative mental dialogue. Easier said then done to break the vicious cycle but by not being so hard on myself helps me a lot to stay focus and avoid hacking away at my skin. See your beauty, see your value, nurture and grow and share your journey. ;) x ps has anyone got any tips for helping to stop?
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March 20, 2011

I've recently stopped caffeine too. I've had anxiety and depression for years, and it only recently occured to me that caffiene makes me more anxious... I think it helps me being off it. (By the way you can get REALLY good decaf coffee - i've recently discovered a bialetti coffee maker and illy decaf grounds, and i'm utterley converted!) I pick at my chest and boobs too, especially my cleavage, but i've not many permanent scars - most of mine will go in about 6 months or so, IF i let them! For me something that has helped stop picking my chest and back/bum/legs at night is to wear pyjamas. I used to sleep naked, but then in the time before going to sleep i'd have picked loads. now i wear a big t-shits and long leg jim-jams, and i get QUICKLY out of day clothes and into night clothes, so i can't SEE any spots there. If i see them, or feel them, i'll obsessively think about them, so i just try to remove the inspiration.
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October 10, 2011

Hi I'm 43 - cant remember when I started. I think as an early teen I picked at my face - I remember using a makeup called Veil to conceal the blemishes. I look back at photos of me at 16 and my legs are clear - i'd wear swim suits etc. I don't know what started it - I remember being a very unhappy child - unsettled , bullied. But remember being pretty happy in my late teens and mid twenties. I spent years letting my mum convince me and going along with treatments for skin disorders. I tried everything and visited specialists all over the place. THe guilt and embarrassment from this was immense - I always knew it was self inflicted but not one specialist suggested it was the root cause - they all just told me to stop scratching In my 20s , 30s and 40s I've had bouts of anxiety and stress related illness - made worse I think by the guilt of the skin picking. Sometimes its not too bad. Other times like now I can barely contain myself. I make excuses to go to the bathroom, but I surepticiously pick all day long - hoping that no-one notices but I'm sure they do and if I catch a look from them I feel disgusted. I used to keep it to less obvious areas - those I could cover up - boobs, bikini line, tops of legs, shoulders. buttocks but latterly its been face, lower legs and arms At the moment I can't keep my hands away from my skin - I seek out pimples, raised lumps , in grown or un erupted hair folicles. The release I feel when I pull of a scabbed over wound is immence. As is the disgust in myself once the 'trance' ends. I only found out about 18 months ago that this was a recognised problem and I was not alone. In desperation I had searched the web. I found Dermatillomania - printed it off and gave it to my partner - he was great. The doctor was useless and dismissed it - referring me again to another skin specialist. However the accompanying rise in panic attacks and stres finally put me (again) in the mental health support loop and am finally waiting for phychotherapy but theres a 2 year waiting list. In the interim the doctor sent me on a Mindfulness course and it talked about meditation techniques. I've now bought a book "Mindfulness - a practical guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" - it comes with a CD that talks you through the meditation - I'm hopeful it will help. I'm also attending a stress management course - again that talks about these breathing and meditation techniques and makes you look at the triggers. I am pretty unsuccesful at the moment in identifying triggers for skin picking - its a constant urge in my head that I try to ignore - but the relief and disappointment when I finally give in is enormous. My only real move forward is that I now how specialists who believe it and a wonderful supporting partner who will let me discuss it on the rare occasions I feel brave enough to do so. Please stay in touch - I think we may be able to support each other x
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November 13, 2011

Having to wait 2 years for psychotherapy is ridiculous! I would give up on whatever place told you to wait two years and shop around for a new place. Can you really afford two more years of this?
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February 23, 2011

My main areas used to be my chest/breasts, upper back, buttocks, and face. It was very upsetting for me in high school because my breasts have always been my best asset. Finally, about my senior year in high school, I decided that enough was enough--I managed to stop picking for a few weeks, and my buttocks and chest healed extremely well. I also used Mederma, and even the scars went away. Sadly, though, I continued to struggle with my face almost everyday, and I'd have an episode with my upper back every month or so. Now, at 22, I still struggle with my face, and every once in a while I'll mess with a closed pore on my chest/breast or back, but for the most part, those areas stay sore-free. I'm very glad that I found this forum to hear stories of people who suffer just like me. It allows me to feel more open to sharing my story, which comforts me and is helping me to overcome this compulsion. I hope it has done the same for you.
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February 26, 2011

I also just discovered this site :) I too pick my breasts. Especially the area where the nipple meets the skin. It is not my worse picking. I primarily focus on my arms and legs. My breasts for some reason also seem to heal faster then other parts of my body. Maybe because they are covered up more often.
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February 27, 2011

wow-It's so great knowing that there are others like me out here... I am 22 years old and I have been picking since I was17. I'm sure it had something to do with my family (my parents were getting a divorce and I rarely had a parent at home). I started picking at my back, when an acne flare gave me that first "opportunity" to pick. from then it led to my buttocks, and then to my breasts. I have tried to quit so many times, that I'm so disheartened at this whole situation... I don't want to go to someone who's just going to drug me up on anti-depressants. that isn't what I need. I am getting married in July and all I truly want is to be scab free for my husband. I want to be able to get my nails done without having to rip them off in order to pick. I'm sure he has noticed that I pick (he commented on my buttocks but I said I just scar easily), but he hasn't really asked me about it or anything. I have to pretend to get angry, or find a way of leaving my bra on and not letting him see my buttocks if/when we are intimate. This hurts so bad... I would love to talk with anyone about this---I have facebook, yahoo, and just plain old email... I would love to have someone to help me out...
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May 12, 2011

hello, i'm almost 22, my email is carpediem_darlin@yahoo.com, i'm online all the time for work and it comes to my phone too, i'd love to talk to you about this, and i think i could help you. I suffer from this disorder too and it comes and goes based on my anxiety level, right now its so bad that i've got bald spots on my head. anyway, shoot me any email and maybe we can talk. -k
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March 05, 2011

wow, its really crazy how for so long i thought i was the only one who picked at my skin. i started skin picking when i was 11 years old and now i am 17. in the beginning though i started picking at my arms and face. eventually as the years passed on it got worse and i began picking at my breasts, legs, and now even my pubic area. im so ashamed i dread going to the doctors for a physical examination or even changing in gym class. i have no idea how to tell my mother that i pick at other areas because she only thinks i do it to my arms. she gets upset with me and yells at me teling me to just stop but i tell her its not that easy. i wish i could definitely talk to someone about this because ive only told one person, my best friend but even he doesnt know the full extent of my skin picking problem. ive read previous comments of women who started at my age and havent stopped and they are now in their 40s. i seriously DONT want to end up at that age and still be picking. i want this to be over and done with ASAP. i just have no idea what steps to take to stop. this has taken over my life, i have few friends, i never want to go out and ive even thought of suicide. i feel so worthless and i need help. any advice?
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October 26, 2011

i'm seventeen too and have had thoughts like that too. i felt like i was reading a post from myself... would you like to confide over email maybe? i think that would really help me cus my friends are supportive but just can't relate :(
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March 18, 2011

I pick at anything that even remotely resembles a bump/pimple. I can't even remember when I started... it's been so long. I'm 20 now. The two most effected areas are my face and my boobs. I pick at my boobs more because I can hide it a lot more easily... but I get so self-conscious in intimate situations with guys. I have big boobs so they are always really eager to get my bra off, but I never want to take it off because I know they will just be disgusted by the scabs and scars. I really need to stop :(
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May 04, 2011

im ur second orsmen
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May 08, 2011

I'm 21 and I have picked at my breasts for years. I try not to think about it because when I do it really upsets me. I will only be intimate with a guy in the dark although I usually don't let myself get to that stage. I also have large boobs and know that guys will definately want to get my bra off but I am so ashamed of how they look. I wish I had never started and didn't have all this ugly scarring around the areola. I know that if I ever get into a relationship I will have to make up some sort of excuse about the way my breasts look. I am far too embarassed to tell anyone. Most days I think I will be single forever just to avoid confrontation about this issue. I frequently have dreams about breasts; either how ugly mine are and how much I hate them, or I dream I am somebody else with perfect breasts. Then I wake up :/ It's so sad there isn't more support out there for this condition but I am SO happy I found this thread it's the first time I have felt I'm not alone in this. Best of luck to everyone trying to beat this crappy compulsion!!!
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June 20, 2011

I am exactly the same way. Mostly picking my boobs, sometimes my face, and i have a very hard time stopping myself once i start. I have several open wounds on my breasts that i cannot get rid of and many ugly scars that will haunt me forever. I have large breasts and I am ver proud of the size and shape of them, but i am totally ashamed of the condition of my skin. My boyfriend and I have been going out for two years, he tries to be understanding, but he wants to see and touch my boobs and i'm so grossed out by them that I shy away. I feel so unsexy when he can see them when we have sex. Lately I have started refusing to take off my bra and it is causing some problems between us. I don't know why i started, but i continue because of stress, anxiety and a true wish to improve the look of my body, as messed up as that seems. I wish i had never started doing this. how do i heal the scabs and get rid of the scars? as well as stop this compulsive behavior?? help!
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August 29, 2011

My problem is exactly the same. Although I've been in a strong, loving relationship with my boyfriend for over two years, I still feel extremely unsexy and nervous whenever I or he takes off my bra because of my scars (and any recently picked parts) on my boobs. I've confronted this problem and have talked about it with him a few times, and each time he reassured me that my skin doesn't show him any reason to stop loving me -- but instead to help me and make me feel better so that I can stop. I just feel horrible that even after I had these conversations with him, I still continue to pick at my boobs anyway... I love him and I wish to be sexy for him when the mood kicks in, but each time we get under the sheets, I always imagine that my scars are being magnified for him to see the ugliness up close, and then I just don't feel as good as when my shirt is still on. I hope he knows that it's not his fault that I don't orgasm as easily as other women probably could because I don't feel good mentally or emotionally thanks to my appearance. But anywho, I'm also looking for the same answer to the same questions. I've been seeking therapy from a counselor (though I haven't brought up my skin picking problem just yet), but I know that mental therapy could help turn around the urge to pick. And as for the scars, I saw a commercial about a cream called Mederma that sort of heals stretch marks and other unwanted scars. I keep forgetting to ask my doctor about it, but maybe you should see if Mederma could be the answerl
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June 26, 2011

OMG!! im 20 too and have horrible scars all over my boobs, chest, back and arms. I want to show my boyfriend my scars but I am soo ashamed and disgusted. I have tried a bunch of stuff from chemical peels, acne treatments, manuka honey, ughh u name it! When I am alone I'm learning to love myself, but I am terrified by what other people think. I recently bought body makeup called dermablend, which covers well. But when we had sex, the makeup was alll over my backseat! OMG it was soo embarrassing and somehow I managed to clean it without him seeing all the makeup on the seat. I want to tell him, but I am too scared to put myself out there. Have you ever been naked in front of a guy? Did they have a reaction to your spots?
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October 26, 2011

oh my gosh that's the same with me too! (but I'm only 17) ugh, they're so eager... and they just don't get it, cus in their minds big a boobed girl = perfect. and I don't want them to be digusted and turned off by my less-than-perfect scarred/scabbed breasts :( it's so embarrassing...
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March 18, 2011

I have come to this site once or twice before and was seeking answers or wanting to find other people like me. I have recently talked to my doctor about this and that I do it, the anxiety meds that she put me on really don't always control the urges. I have been picking since I was around 11 is the earliest that I can actively remember doing it on a conscious level. My parents had a playground swing set in the backyard and i had really gashed the back of my leg very deeply with an uncovered screw when I was hanging upside down and flipping off the set. I remember it healing and the scab started to tighten around the skin and I was sitting in the bathroom on the carpet and started to pick. There was just a sense of release that i felt. I grew up in a very emotioally and mentally abusive home with a bi polar mother, undiagonsed because she refuses to seek medical treatment. I am now 30 years old and have been picking since that first time. I always had scars that never healed and I really didn't realize that I was doing damage to my body until I was in my college years. Up until that point it was minor, scratches or cuts that happened on accident that I really just never let fully heal. I started tanning when I was in my early 20s, since I am a redhead I burned and started to peel...then the peeling developed into a sore and a sore a picking spot. I was mainly on my boobs, yes as the woman mentioned in the earlier posts it was because it was easily hidden from others. I am trying to figure out what is the psychological reason as for why it is that I do this. I was raped by my boyfriend during my freshman year in college and that is when I think the cycle of picking my boobs started. I have several scars, three currently active right now that I'm trying to let heal putting on cream at night with band aids and such. I really am trying hard to figure out or work through issues, memories that I have suppressed and haven't been able to ever talk about. I am wondering if anyone else had similar trauma in their past. I also pick my stomach and scalp, but mainly my boobs, all places are easy to cover up. The cuts I get or scraps I get on other places of my body I do let heal naturally....so why those areas?
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March 22, 2011

Yes, I had similar childhood trauma. In fact, my mom used to pinch my skin harder and harder until I could answer a homework question correctly ... if I didn't, she's pull the skin off. Very probable cause. I've forgiven her long ago, but I guess the pattern was set. I recently picked a hole on my stomach during a long phone call, and nearly ended up with staff! I had to see a surgeon 4 times and he treated it as a burn with Silvidine 2x/day and kept it covered at all times until it grew new layers. Now it's uncovered, and there's a quarter sized purple spot on my belly that will take forever to fade! Do what you can to stop now!
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November 13, 2011

Picking often intensifies after a really stressful period. For you, it was rape. Other posters have noted that their picking gets worse after they have fought with a loved one. My skin picking escalated to include hair pulling shortly after my brother died and I stopped talking to my parents all within a few months of each other. Maybe some part of you is fending off male attention by attacking your femininity? Or maybe you are trying to define your personal boundaries by marking off part of your bodily "real estate" as your own? We all have a public and a private self. Do you cherish your private self? Do you prefer being alone so you can let your guard down? If so, that could be reflected by granting yourself the "right" to do as you wish in areas that are out of the view of other people's eyes and judgments. It could be about autonomy or about ejecting the abusive parental introjects.
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March 22, 2011

Hi all. Well, I might be the oldest among you. I'm 53, and my picking is out of control. I began around 11 or 12 because I'd get little bumps on the back of my upper arms and some on my shoulders. I was a professional swimmer and basically spent my time away from school in a pool. It was so embarrassing. I just thought that if I could get to the bottom of it, sometimes getting little white hard spots out, they'd heal up and never come back. But what really happens, as you know, is that the more you mess with the area the more sores arise, and then you have a "duty" to fix those! It's a maddening cycle. In the summers, the sun really helped things heal, but I'm always SO self conscious that people will notice the scars and sores. In my college years I started picking at my back and buttocks. Now I'm in a 16 year relationship that was unbelievably compatible until last fall. She told a lie about me on FB and it really hurt. When I confronted her, she also told me she didn't feel in love with me anymore and basically felt like we were roommates. I was shocked. All my past relationships had been so abusive, and I'd finally found one with mutual trust, respect and true love. My picking escalated to its worst ever. I went ahead and finally told some people. My therapists were surprised that my partner had never known. My sister was grossed out, but supportive. A couple friends are no longer friends... I guess it's just too much to lay on a person when they can't do anything to help, plus it's disgusting! And my secret's out to them and I live in fear that they'll tell others. I finally told my partner. She always wondered why we didn't make love naked or with lights on ... I always wore a long shirt or something. I don't like my breasts messed with that much anyway. I showed her my arms, but that was all. We went to couples therapy, and she swears she's not leaving me, loves me completely, etc. I know this could be said out of fear of making me worse, but I'm trying my best to think positively and believe in her love as I always did. Then at the beginning of the year, she went bolistic when I asked if we could make love ... she'd never said no before, I cried, and she screamed and screamed and put her hands around my neck and shook my head back and forth. She has anger management problems, but I have never seen her take it out on a person, much less, me! It really rocked my security. The picking is worse than ever. My arms and legs are covered with dark purple scars, my belly, sides, back and buttocks are covered with dots - some open, some healed, some just ripe to be picked to a deeper layer. (Sorry.) It takes me hours each week to get the blood stains out of every item of my clothing before I can do laundry. My arthritis in my fingers is getting worse and worse. Last fall I developed Glossitis (Burning Mouth Syndrome): It's caused by stress, there is no cure, and it lasts 7 - 13 YEARS! The only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm asleep. I swish with lidocaine many times daily to numb my tongue, but it only helps for a few minutes. Sucking cool air in helps, but my teeth are ground flat and too sensitive to cold, sugar, heat. When I finish a particularly bad picking session, I look like I've been hit by shrapnel with blood running everywhere. And it gets so sore, in the shower, in bed, in clothes, etc. This past winter was the worst ever, and I'm trying so hard to turn things around and be more like the person friends met years ago. I'm agoraphobic, so I'm trying to force myself to get out more in society.I'm so ashamed of my looks that I invested in long sleeved special tops that are supposed to be cooling in the heat, but I get so many hot flashes, uggg. I wish the cold weather would just stay so I could stay covered up. A few times I've done better by wearing latex gloves, and I keep my nails cut real short. I've tried to get help from Behavioral Research facilities, but I seem to be too much for them and they dump me. I'm so scared, ashamed, etc. So there's my life... any suggestions?
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November 13, 2011

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can relate to the frustration of having to get the blood stains out when doing laundry! I wish I had more suggestions, but I don't.
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November 13, 2011

hi i,m 554 and have picked my skin since if was about 7 the only thing i can think of is my uncle dropped dead of a heart attack infront of me i was deeply upset by this but those days children didn,t get councelling i have so much in common with you let chat more maybe we can help each other/ Linda
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March 23, 2011

guilty....
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May 04, 2011

i do and what made mine worse wase i got a staff infection which if i wasnt a picker it would have healed over rite away but not many of us have that much self control i dont it is now 4 years later and i have picked at it so much it spread creating new pic spots i have no health insurance so i cant get any antibiotices to kill the infection or the help for my picking i wish u luck i havent found a way to stop i pick first thing in the morning and then at the end of the day on my breast but if i have picked at my face and im stressed and i new more spots to pick ill go to the bathroom and pick my boobs i keep an extra clean shirt neosprian bandaids and rubbing alchohol pads in my purse or backpack ur not alone oaklandgurl
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May 07, 2011

God I really thought I was the only one. I ended up leaving the house with my scars showing and I do try to cover them up but usually they are still visable. I am ashamed and embaressed by my self destruction and try as I might I also end up returing to the bathroom to exasborate the issue. For me this self loathing behavior. I think if I learn to love myself and be content with who I am the behaviors would not manifest. I could relate to almost evething you were saying and my sympathy goes out to you. I really hope you can find some strength in this Jennifer
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November 13, 2011

Me, too. It's like I hate myself just to fit in. A backwards way of belonging with other people, I guess.
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June 01, 2011

I figured I couldn't be the only one who did this but after reading these posts I feel there are bunches of us out there. That's the most saddening is that there are so many of you on here feeling all those feelings of shame and isolation and at the same time psychic relief then horrific regret followed by secrets. Ive been doing this since was a out 13 or so, I'm 42 now. I just want to take a moment to tell so many of these young girls to get help with this. Tell your Dr. About it if you have one. They've heard of it and may have seen it as well. They won't treat you like freak for it. Do this before youre 20+ years into this compulsion and all the scars and the isolation sets in and you're feeling too old to correct the scarred damage. I beg you to get some help to at least try to stop or curb the impulse. I know it's hard to speak up about it. I've been in therapy off and on for 20 years and still never told my shrink. Don't be the coward I have been. The impulse for me stems from a sexual assault as a little kid by a stranger. It's pretty safe to say that I dealt with it all badly but it all makes sense now. It's just emotional overload and it is like a release valve except it creates real damage both physical and mental on top of the original mental damage. Now I feel emotionally i'm maybe too far gone for a relationship. I feel I need reconstructive surgery to remove the scarring and loose skin around my areola. So with past weight gain and loss, and the picking damage, I seems to have physically manifested all my psychic anguish into something physical that can be seen. I'm glad this site is here and I can at least say this annonymously and if nothing else, be a cautionary tale for some of these young women so you don't end up where I am. Alone and wanting a relationship but, carrying a secret that feels so big and crazy (to the layperson) to boot, I think it will be the ultimate reason now that I'm alone and don't pursue relationships because I just can't bare to expose myself. It was once mentally and issue but now, it's the physical that holds me back!
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November 13, 2011

I am 31, a little younger than you, but a little older than most of the girls on this site. I feel like these next 10 years are crucial for me. Either I get better and find someone to be in a relationship with, or I keep going on the path I am on now and end up scarred, ashamed, and alone. Thank you for your "cautionary tale." I really hope I make the right decisions and that it is not too late for me. It is not too late for you either, by the way. You said that your psychic anguish had manifested into something physical that can be seen....just wondering, did anyone ever notice your psychic anguish, or was it invisible, yours to keep inside?
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June 12, 2011

I am 14 years old and I have an ugly scar on my boob from where I picked at a staff infection. I've had a habit of picking scabs for a long time but I didn't realize that I was giving myself scars from it. For a long time I felt really ashamed and embarassed when my friends would wear skimpy swimsuits and I would have to cover up my scar. I am really relieved to find out that I'm not alone in this issue. Thank you guys for sharing all your stories, it has really helped me out.
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June 14, 2011

I'm almost 46 and have been picking for 40 years. Mine started at church, being bored, picking my upper arms. Moved to legs. Sun dries whatever is is up, but now, my arms are one giant scar. The upper arms are better but about 7-10 yrs ago, I went through some heavy stuff and destroyed my forearms. My mother thought I was doing heroin because I stopped wearing 3/4 length sleeves. I have picked that area, especially if I sweat. To this day I do ANYTHING I can do not to sweat. I take another shower if I need to. Don't look at them if you can help it. I know it sounds weird, but make your bosom your sanctuary. To this day, I never wear short sleeves outside of the house. I live in sunny California. Don't let it turn in 40 yrs. I think about it EVERY DAY. Especially if there is an ingrown hair. OMG. I have to put on a sweater and walk out of the room.
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June 25, 2011

I do too. its so frustrating i cant stop!!! I tried it got better but i never really made it to the time where it just heals perfectly. i stop for a few month and then start again. i cant really wear anything i want because i am embarrassed. I cant even go to the beach. I know its the only reason that is stopping me from having clear skin... I spend hours just picking and picking. I tell myself to stop but i just do not! it makes me feel good. i dont really know why i do it, i regret it later on
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June 27, 2011

I now realize that I have been a "picker" my whole life. I am 53 years old. I was oblivious to the picking until I developed Sebboreaic Dermatitis about 6 months ago. I was so grossed out by it, and picked my scalp and scratched it until I noticed thinning hair and hair loss. This has continued even though the Sebboreah is gone. After reading this forum, I realized that I have picked at various areas of my body most of my teenage and adult life. It started with zits and blackheads as a teen, progressed to bumps on my upper arms, bumps on my buttocks, and now my scalp. I made my husband buy me a $400 wig, I was convinced I would be bald but didn't attribute my picking to causing the problem. I still believed I had the Sebboreah. I have such empathy for all of you fellow pickers out there, we hide and suffer in silence for fear of rejection and embarrassment. I feel your pain and I am glad there is this forum for us to discuss our picking without feeling weird or judged.
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June 27, 2011

I pick my breasts too. mercilessly! They and my scalp and bikini line are my worst areas. Iv been picking my boobs since i was about 13 (im 26 now) but i picked my arms long before that. So weird to read about so many of you feeling trance like. Iv never really been able to put my finger on the feeling when im doing it. Its like everything disappears and before you know it iv been picking for hours! So glad im not the only one!
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June 28, 2011

You are definitely not alone!!! I will literally pick at wherever there is a bump...even if I cannot see it, it's very sad and yes, it makes me cry sometimes because it's like i'm an addict and want to quit, but where do you go to end such a crazy obsession ya know? I feel your pain. I'm trying to not pick for one month...if that works..maybe I can go for even longer. I'm crazy about getting in front of a mirror and going to town on myself...so I'm going to try to avoid the mirror unless it's for applying makeup or doing my hair...it's going to be hard for me so fingers crossed!!!
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June 30, 2011

I know exactly what you mean when you say that you pick things you can't even see. That's my biggest problem. If there's even the slightest raised area, tiny bump, or ANY discoloration Im convinced there's something there, under my skin, that needs to come out. I don't pick ON my breasts necessarily, but my neck and chest, and in BETWEEN my breasts always end up feeling the wrath of my picking. The worst thing is when my boyfriend says, "there's nothing even THERE!" and I KNOW there is. I can FEEL it but I can't see it. And then, whether there was something there or not I end up all red and bumpy and I have to cover up :(
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October 26, 2011

I remember picking one time before bed, and after I had "finished" (meaning going over ever inch of my back, chest, and face finding every little bump EVEN if I couldn't see anything there) it was around 3am... and I had started at 11. I was so appalled that I had picked for FOUR straight hours and at the sight of my mutilated skin that I cried myself to sleep that night. And the next morning I had to get up early before school so I would have enough time to cover it all up. It was awful :( I feel your pain... I wish this problem didn't exist. I feel so pretty when I don't pick and my face claers up as a result, but I can never stop for long and sure enough, I'm ugly again.
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March 03, 2012

Your not ugly, but I know why you think you are, because I do to. Regardless of picking, but more when I pick.

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