How to explain your compulsive skin picking to your children

Tasneem Abrahams
Dec 21st, 2016

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Skin picking disorder may affect as many as 1 in 20 people. Although it occurs in both men and women, research suggests that skin picking disorder occurs much more often in women. Skin picking can begin in childhood or adulthood. Alhtough not classified as addicition, the irresistable urge to engage in skin picking can be as inhibiting as having an addiction. In the past, addiction used to refer just to psychoactive substances that cross the blood-brain barrier, incidentally modifying the chemical balance of the brain; this would incorporate alcohol, tobacco and some drugs. An extensive number of therapists, other health care professionals and lay people now demand that psychological dependency, as may be the case with gambling, sex, internet, work, exercise, etc. should also be considered as addictions, since they can also prompt to sentiments of guilt, shame, hopelessness, sadness, failure, rejection, anxiety as well as mortification.

Like addiction, skin picking disorder can hurt a person emotionally, physically, and socially. In addition to feeling shame and embarrassment, people with skin picking disorder can have other psychological problems like depression and anxiety. Skin picking disorder can also interfere with social life, school, and/or work. When you are a parent, there is the added burden of guilt that your behavior ir affecting you competence as a parent, and indeed the emotional health of your child/ren. It is there important to talk to your children about your disorder. Engaging in conversations about psychological issues with a child is not an easy task, even one that has long been aware that there’s a problem.

Growing up in a home where an adult has a body focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) can be chaotic and frightening to children. Secretive behavior, unhappy parents and social isolation without explanation often make children draw their own (usually wrong) conclusions. Without explanation, children often feel that the turmoil in the house is their fault. Therefore finding ways to address the problem with your children and explaining the addiction in a way that’s within a child’s ability to understand will definitely be an advantage.

People may argue that children do not need to know about their parents psychological issues, and that many of questions should be shelved until they are older. This is detrimental because many kids experience feelings of guilt and blame when their parent acts in a way they cannot understand. Psychologists say that because the topic is unpleasant, it doesn’t mean it should be avoided. There are many ways that can make the process of addressing psychological disorders with your children slightly easier.

When you admit that you have an problem and opt to start the recovery procedure, one of the principal things you ought to do is disclose and explain your addiction to friends and family. One of the reasons this is favorable is that secrecy can often lead to guilt and loneliness and therefore be more conducive to relapse, whereas disclosing to those who care about you can lead to a more supportive environment for recovery.

Age appropriate ways to talk to your child about skin picking

How you speak to a child about BFRBs varies with the age of the child. It is important to note that they have only their experience with which to process information. Experts stress that it’s important to tell kids the truth. Often, asking them how they feel in a situation is the easiest way to start a conversation on a difficult subject. Young children deserve to be spoken to so that they have the chance and a feeling of safety to speak directly to how they feel and to express their fears. If you find it difficult to address the issue yourself, there are options for meditators that can assist. Sometimes framing the explanation within a story can help pitch your explanation at a level they understand. 

Keep The Door Open For An Ongoing Conversation

Make your kids as comfortable as possible, it is extremely important that you do not tune your kids out as this will lead to more frustations. Sharing these experiences with your children can help them understand your struggles and hopefully allow opportunities for them to share in your recovery process. While children can cause us a lot of grief and worry, they can also be our closest allies.

Family therapy

Family therapy is a type of psychological counseling (psychotherapy) that helps family members enhance communication and resolve conflicts. Family therapy is usually provided by a psychologist, clinical social specialist or authorized advisor. Family treatment is frequently short term. It may incorporate all relatives or simply those capable or willing to partake. Your particular treatment plan will rely on upon your family's circumstance. Family treatment sessions can teach you skills to develop family associations and traverse upsetting circumstances, even after you're done going to treatment sessions.

It is said that honesty is the best policy, therefore be honest when telling your family about skin picking disorder. Sugar-coating the disorder or downplaying how profound it is will not help your friends and family understand your issue and subsequently play a role in helping your recovery.

 

Tasneem Abrahams

Tasneem is an Occupational Therapist, and a graduate of the TLC foundation for BFRBs professional training institute. Her experience in mental health includes working at Lentegeur Psychiatric hospital forensic unit (South Africa), Kingston Community Adult Learning Disability team (UK), Clinical Specialist for the Oasis Project Spelthorne Community Mental Health team (UK). Tasneem is a member of both the editorial team and the clinical staff on Skinpick, providing online therapy for people who suffer from excoriation (skin picking) disorder.

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