Posted July 1st, 2010 by onesteptohappy
Hi everyone, I am 25 and I am a picker. I have been picking since I was about 15 years old. It is hard to admit but I started picking because of my mother. When I hit adolescence and developed the first signs of it - that is tiny blackheads on the forehead, my mother told me that it happened the same with her at her teens. So she suggested to squeeze the blackheads from time to time and they would just go away soon. But the problem was that I inherited my father's skin too - big pores, oily, problematic skin. So the whole blackhead battle developed into a never ending sessions of skin picking performed both by me or by my mother. By the time I was 17 I discovered a cream (Skinoren) that seemed to have helped my acne. But my picking problem became so severe that soon the results of the cream started fading. Now I am 25 and, as many members that write here, I noticed that my skin does not heal so quickly and that scars stay for several weeks. I have heard about the skin picking disorder before and considered myself one. But I always thought that it is easy to quit - as soon as my skin gets better, as soon as I am out of adolescence. But the problem is that my skin never gets better. It is always "bumpy" with whiteheads and blachheads, always oily and shiny. And when i pick on the whiteheads and blackheads I can see how much "dirt" comes out of them. At that moment I am dicussed, angry, depressed and... content at the same time. Content with the tought that I actually clean my skin from so much "dirt". And I think that the only reason why I keep picking is thinking that it is the only way to clean my skin. After an ordinary "successful" picking session (that is not developing inflammations) my skin is smooth for about a week. And I enjoy the feeling that my skin is clean. But after that... it is all over again. I start noticing developing bumps, uneveness that later become whiteheads and blackheads. I must emphasize that I have always used the best skin care products - washed, exfoliated, used masks, spent money on face cleaning at cosmethology salons, tried home remedies. But all of these means were always accompanied by picking. At early stages I used to pick simply with my nails, then started using paper napkins wraped around my fingers, then - metal "spoons". But it never gets better... it even gets worse... The reason why I decided to try to change something is that I simply want to be happy and the condition of my skin has always been the number one reason why I am not. And if there is something I can do - then I am gonna do it. I simply need a little help. Another reason is that I am strong-willed and moreover - at the moment I can afford to spend all my time working on me. So after a severe picking session yesterday (I caught a cold and after feeling sick and misserable for almost a week, I "calmed" myself in front of the mirror) I decided on putting myself on a serious challenge. After I noticed that whiteheads and blackheads are spreading form forehead and nose to cheeks, chin, neck, behind ears, around lips I decided that picking is far from helping getting rid of them but even makes it worse. What I am planning to do is start from simple little things that could help me keep my hands of my face. First, I started growing and painting my nails so that it would be a shame to ruin my manicure by picking. Also I decided to bring my mobile phone everytime I go to the bathroom so that I could have a time limit I spent there. Later on I am planing to cover all the mirrors while I am alone at home. However, I know that the hardests part will be watchin my skin getting "dirtier" and "dirtier". Because everybody knows that it is not that easy to clean your skin and not that easy to do it the right way. So I kindly ask you to help me go through this challenge, share your experience of how you made it - how you stopped picking and cleaned your skin without picking. Please help me find strength and motivation to go on. Keep telling me that after some time, my skin will start cleaning itself without my destructive intervention. Thank You, and wish me luck.