I just came across this site not too long ago, and after reading through a lot of people's stories on here, it really is shocking to find out how much in common I have with all of you and how identical my "issue" is or "disorder", whatever you want to call it. I am 18, going to be 19 in 2 months, and previous to this year, I really never thought about skin or picked or anything, and my skin was flawless. I had a few months of experimenting with drugs and drank very excessively starting fall 2009 until about Februray this year and at the same time I was cheated on by a girl I have been with for a very long time and from that point on, I have been unhappy with my appearance and destroy my face about 1-3 times in a week, and hide myself (literally don't leave the house for anything) for anywhere between 1 week- 3 months at a time. Because of this I dropped out of high school in my senior year, lost my job, lost friends, and lost myself. Whether its from all the craziness and heavy drug and alcohol use, or stress or being devastated from being cheated on, it has become my obsession, and everything prior seems like a dream.
Without going on and on, the worst part of it all to me, is that I have probably 100-200 ice pick scars/scarred pores/enlarged pores all over my cheeks from regularly picking at my face until its completely red, swollen, and bleeding. My girlfriend and family swear that it's not a big deal, and that I look the same, but every time I look in a mirror, which is most of the time I'm awake, I see someone else an older, rough, tired looking, ugly prison of a body that is a constant, haunting reminder of the terrible choices I have made. What I would like to know is, has anyone else developed these enlarged pores/giant gaping holes in their face from picking non-stop, and if so how do you deal with it, and is there any possible treatment for them?
I really hope to hear from someone soon. I've been out of hope for a long time, and within the last few months have found myself seriously contemplating suicide.