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aintnobodygott… , 19 Mar 2013

Stopped picking on legs- How to cope with scars??

I finally got my parents to send me to an OCD specialist, and after about 5 visits I suddenly got it in my head I had no desire to pick anymore because I was sick of making scars on my skin. And for the most part I have succesfuly stopped picking at my legs after over a year and a half from when I started. Unfortunately, now that I have no outlet to deal with my anxiety about legs (which was picking,) I have developed a crippling obsessive fixation on my scars to the point I'm always having to check them or look for scar treatments for hours on the internet. It got so bad I would almost have panick attacks when I went to public places (the park, school, hanging with friends) because all I could see were normal people that didn't have to hide their scars by wearing pants. I'm so depressed and full of self-hate because I used to have really nice legs, even though I always hated shaving. Now I can't even wear capri pants without exposing the scars running up and down the sides of my legs. My OCD therapist had to instruct my parents to pull me out of my uni classes for intensive in-patient treatment because it got so bad I was crying all the time and could barely get myself to go to uni. Now I might have to take an incomplete on my classes, and therapy hasn't changed my mind one bit about expsoing my legs. All I can think of is how I can never swim in public places, or wear dressses, shorts, or skirts that I love ever again becuase I look like a freak. I'm so miserable about how I effectively scarred and ruined my body-image and self-esteem for the rest of my life. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer guys, I'm just so angry at what my life has become. I wouldn't wish dermatillomania on even my biggest, worst enemy :( If anybody want tips on how I stopped picking, I can email you the thought & skin picking record worksheets that helped me learn to decrease the urge to pick! I just wish I had found help sooner.
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