After 7 Years I Just Can't See Myself Stopping.

Posted April 10th, 2010 by JennieC

Hey. My name is Jennie. I'm 21 and I pick my feet, and have done for the past 7 years. I have picked my feet for so long that I can't remember a time when I didn't pick my feet. My dad died in 2003, which is obviously when I started. I didn't cry once when my dad died, I only cried a couple of years later. I just couldn't cry. I guess I just didn't have a healthy way of channelling my anger and sadness. Something inside me isn't completely satisfied unless my feet are red raw, sore and bleeding from the amount of picking I put it through. I remember a couple of years back I managed to stop. I was so happy. But I just went straight back to my old ways a couple of weeks later. After 7 years, I just can't see a way out. It's progressing slowly as well, I'm finding myself picking my skin on my fingers, and lately my arms. I hate that I pick. It interferes with everything. My life is being controlled my picking.

On April 13th, 2010 baadbasham said:

Hey Jennie, I'm 28 and have been doing this since I was about 15. Two blinks of an eye ago I was 21, but this is something that stays. I think it will always be a part of us. That's not to get you down, because I've gone for as long as two years (!) without picking and expect to again in the future, but I think it's like alcoholism. Everyone has their way of dealing with things and for whatever reasons, the chemicals in bloodstream, our personalities, our past, this is the program that we are the most apt to run when we are stressed, lonely, sad, anxious, whatever. It's always going to be our go-to and what tries and fails to satisfy us. We have to come to terms with that and be strong and say -NO, I'M NOT GOING TO PICK THAT when we ourselves reaching out for that tiny acre of skin. That's my attitude right now. I need to act like I'm my own personal drill-sargent of a parent., Picking is the easy way out because at the time it's so engrossing...but it doesn't even get you "out." I'm going to stop doing it one temptation at a time and just say "NO!" lol. I know it sounds silly. But I'm fed up and the fed up part of me is going to be summoned when I need to say NO,, I'M NOT GOING TO PICK THAT. The picking cycle is like some awful rollercoaster ride, once you're on it, it has you until it's satisfied and you're sick. I want to accept that at any second of any day my innocent curiosity could have me lining up, but I know where that goes. As many times as I need to, I'm going to say I don't want to get on this ride, walk away, and do something else instead that will help me or heal me or give me what I need.

For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.