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magvillain , 09 Aug 2023

using a tool to pick has made everything so much worse

My sister had some bad acne at one point and she had a lot of tools for it. One of them caught my eye and has literally made my picking even worse. The one I took and still have is like this pimple tool where one end is like a loop meant for popping pimples and then the other is just a really sharp needle. I have naturally good skin and now it's constantly inflamed because I never stop messing with my skin. When I get a pimple I pop it immediately and then keep poking at it and messing with it to the point where it is an open wound on my face. When my skin is raised or swollen from me touching it too much i just poke it with the needle until i feel it pierce through in a raised area. I know me having this tool is really not good and iv'e probably already done damage  with it and most likely will continue to do so. I had a bump on the inside of my ear one time and i messed with it so much that the whole inside of my ear was filled with swollen red irritated bumps and dried pus. I literally could not wear earbuds like putting anything even just a pinky finger slightly into my ear would manage to painfully pop or damage some of the skin and pus and blood came out. I know this is like super gross (especially because i eat whatever I pick) but theres no way I could have done this damage without the tool and I still have it I just don't get rid of it. I know I should give it to someone and make sure I can't use it because the last thing I need is more scarring but I just dont. It doesn't even feel like I can't do it I just dont do it for whatever reason. My pain tolerance is high and picking rarely hurts to me but sometimes I go under scabs with the needle side and try to rip the scab off from the bottome but this usually doesn't work and I just end up in pain I don't know what to do im so ashamed of my habit not even my closest friends who I would trust with my life know even half of the extent my picking goes to..

2 Answers
Lost Dragonita
August 20, 2023

Hello!

I can relate! You’re not alone! I’m the worst when it comes to the exact tool you’re speaking of. That and tweezers. I literally find one brief moment of frustration and throw whatever tool it is away in a trash bin or I’ll toss it somewhere on a tall shelf or just throw it. I know that sounds odd but I can’t afford to use those tools ever. Once in awhile, in a moment of weakness, I’ll still buy a pair of tweezers thinking somehow that it will help me “get” whatever ingrown hair or pimple or wherever it is out and solve my problems with picking. But that’s the delusion of this disorder— it never gets fixed and the tweezers or that other tool you mentioned (I don’t know what it’s called) make things worse not better.  I’m sorry you’re going through this. Although I’ve disclosed to a few people about my problem, I never can tell them the real extent of it. It’s just too insane to try and explain and I’m too ashamed. I would just die if anyone knew how many hours I spend on picking.  I wish I could say something to help but at least you know you’re not the only one.

How bad was your picking before the tool? Maybe you can just chuck that thing in the garbage and be sure you put it in garbage that’s gross so you won’t retrieve it. If I can help it, I try never using a tool because the damage is worse plus I end up spending so much more time in the mirror.  take care…..

magvillain
August 25, 2023

thank you, it does definitely feel better just knowing i’m not alone. I think just throwing it out or just somewhere that i can never get it would be the best because sometimes i throw it somewhere that’s hard to reach but I always end up retrieving it eventually. I do still pick without the tool, it’s just different because it’s usually on my arms legs back and chest and i do it with my nails. I use the tool there too sometimes but unfortunately i have really sensitive skin that can be really bumpy at times so i don’t need a needle to make something to pick at. I totally relate to the thing about the mirror.. though I spend an embarrassing amount of time picking in general, I usually go longer when i’m at my mirror. I spend most of my time at my desk which has my computer and some writing stuff and makeup stuff at the end which includes the mirror. It’s rough because I like my mirror, it’s cute and really great for doing eyeliner and stuff but it’s one of those mirrors that has lights that show every little detail on your face. I don’t want to get rid of it but I can’t help but think that my face picking at least might be better if I didn’t have it?? I’m not sure though… thank you for the advice and even though i’m sorry you have to experience this, it is nice to know I’m not alone because like you said, my picking is too bizarre and shameful for even the people i trust the most to truly understand.

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