Posted December 13th, 2011 by miss_black
I'm 30 year old and have picked skin and hairs all my life, but it escalated severely about 4 years ago, and it's taking over my life!!!! It started when I was 14, I reshaped my eyebrows- picked out most of the outer parts and used an eyebrow pencil for the rest. I am a perfectionist and it was timeconsuming to "make" new eyebrows each morning, but I did for years to come and still do. I only had to pluck a few stray hairs, but they never caused any trouble. For about 5 years ago I got sick of painting my eyebrows and got a cosmetic tattoo, had to go back 3 times to fill in and I still wasn't satisfied, they didi a bad job I thing, uneven and different shapes/placements, so I hade to keep filling my eyebrows anyways to make them look alike. For some reason I started to grow more hair around my eyebrows (under and in between) and I started to pluck every stray here, and ofcourse my skin did not like this and got red and irritated. Today I am wondering if I only imagined those hairs, or if the tattoing somehow activated dorment follicles to start producing more hair. Hair that got thicker and harder to pluck each time, and over time they started to become ingrown and caused ugly bumps around my eyebrows, and so it has been these last years. I can't decide whether my skin/follicles caused the problem, or if I did it to myself. Now my skin in dry and flaky and I have scabs from wounds, scabs that I ofcourse must peel off.... I've tried IPL at home and that hasn't helped so far. It's frustrating to see a hair trying to come through my dry skin, creating a bump.. I just have to get it out!!!! So when one is out I move on the next, cause there is always a next. I have had periods where the skin has been ok and I thought I'd never pick again, but then comes a bump, and the hairs are so thick it's almost impossible to get it our so I have to dig it out. Not so nice. And then comes the anxiety and shame over ehat I've done to myself. I have to cover the skin up with make up so be able to go out and to go to work, but at the end of teh day the makeup is dry and a scab is being formed and sometimes it starts to bleed and I can't take it anymore. I've called in sick several times this last year, beacuse I can't show myself. I work in a department store, spots in my face and customers all day long, and I just take a deep breath each day and try to hide my skin. It's not easy, being so close to the eyes. and I KNOW people see how disgusting my skin is. I've tried all types of ingrown hair solutions, moisturizers, topical treatments, band aids, vitamins and oils and desinfectants and make up brands and U name it. my skin is so damaged and dry and red so that a hair has no way of getting out withour causing irritation. I am obsessed with my skin beeing smoth, so the least irregurality makes me go crazy with the tweezer. I been able to hold up for a day or two but when I'm alone in my bathroom under the lamp, I know I'm doomed. Also I have bdd, so I CAN'T go out without makeup, I must look in the mirror at some point of the day. I feel my life slipping away over a little thing that's taken over my life. What to do??????