I'm really scared
Posted May 24th, 2012 by Hayley
I've been watching this site for a while now and when I discovered it originally I near had a panic attack. I was shaken up and actually really scared. I thought this whole picking and eating my body was a habit but now I'm really worried. I've been doing this since as long as I can remember. My parents thought and still think it's a habit. In a bid to get me to stop my dad used to put a little bit of Old Spice into my wounds to clean them out but also in the hope it would stop but it never did. I'm nineteen now and I'm just a scarred mess. At the moment I've four pick spots on my face, a long cut on mu finger, three small pickable areas on my right arm, an infected cut on my pinky which is actually really painful and an almost un-pickable scab on the palm of my hand. There's also two open cuts on my right leg. I don't know what to do. I can't stop this and once it's done I just want to cry. I'm just a mass of scars that look like cigarette burns all over my body -there's not a single area I have not had a go at picking. How did you all go to the doctors for help? I'm so scared. I feel like a freak and it's really slowly eating me up inside (and out, I guess). I look diseased, I can't wear skirts because of my legs. since discovering this Dermatillomani I've tried to stop on my own but I don't know how. I feel too weak, it's just too hard. And I really don't know what to do or where to go or how to approach my parents. I'm just really struggling and need someone just to please give me advise on what to do now. I feel so cheeky, I've joined this site but I haven't even been diagnosed. I hope I'm not offending anyone but I've been picking myself since I was nine, I remember the exact first time too -on both legs, in a car the day after burning my legs going down a metal water slide on my knees. I just feel lonely and really scared and could really use some advise and just a chat.