Ruining my face

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August 09, 2012

Hey! I'm in the exact same boat... I have bandaids all over my face right now in hopes to fix Monday's rampage. Anyway, I keep a pair of gloves on the bathroom sink and I wear them every time I go in there to prevent the picking. I usually only pick in the bathroom. If I DO pick, oatmeal really helps to soothe the skin. Mix it up with some water and honey. Ive also used apple cider vinegar and lemon juice in small doses. Smashing up an aspirin and mixing it with water to make a paste works nicely too! I think the oatmeal and aspirin are the best! Just wear gloves and stay on the forum =) That will hopefully help us both quit! Good luck!!
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August 09, 2012

Thanks. I was doing really good until I took a shower. The scabs started coming off and of course I could not just let them hang there....so rip...off comes skin. Now I am left with 2 really red spots. At least they are flat. Right now I have some calamine potion and neosporin covered with a bandwidth. Hopefully wont be so red in the morning as that is what bugs me the most...being so dang red as that is hard to cover. Wish I had enough nerve to go to work with a bandaid..but I do not. Good luck and if you need encouragement. Just post a reply and I will help you out. I am definitely going to try the gloves in the bathroom as that is where the picking all starts for me. Maybe I should get an outhouse with no mirror! Keep me posted. On your progress and what is helping. Oh I also think I am throwing out my 6 pairs. Of tweezers as they are an evil device for me to have.
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August 09, 2012

Get rid of those tweezers!! And calamine is awesome for the redness! Now that you mention it, I wish I had some! And as for going out with a bandaid on, I do it all the time lol Try it! I honestly feel so much better when I do. PLUS I can keep the neosporin on it all day to keep it moist and help heal it faster =) Good luck tonight! I'll let you know what my face looks like in the morning!
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August 10, 2012

Hey Krickster - Just checking in. How is it been going the last couple of days? I started to pick this morning - and made myself stop. Now I am looking forward to the weekend, no make up , just calamine and neosporin in hopes that i will be some what healed on Monday and not feel so down and embarrassed. I was really tempted to wear a bandaid to work today, but just could not get myself to do it.
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August 10, 2012

my favorite tweezers finally broke. thank god. i refuse to replace them... i do have them rigged to kind of work.... i need to throw them out!! i keep my nails short so i dont try to pick. best advice use a face steamer, cover the wounds with antibiotic cream and a band-aid. leave them on all night. remove the magnifier mirror, tweezers, and any other picking tool from your favorite place or better yet GIVE them to a trusted pal for safe keeping. we can do this. we can stop.
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August 11, 2012

I just got done picking a scabs....again...have given all 6 pairs of tweezers to my daughter...even the secret hidden pair. Now my plan is to put on neosporin...bandaid and leave it on all weekend. Even when i go to my friends tmrw and to visit my grandpa on sunday. That is going to be hard explaining the bandaida. But i want this to be healed by monday. I cant go through another week of work like this. I just cant. I was doing so good had not picked in a day and half...now back to a red open sore. I hate myself for doing this. I really need the support from you guys and this forum. I canceled my date for tonight again because i cant let him see me like this. I am to the point where i just dont want to do anything...sleep thats it. And the worst part is my son is here for a week to visit and it hurts me that he sees me like this and that i want to hide from him.
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November 06, 2012

Hi, I made my first post yesterday (Picked for years but only just become aware of CSP). I'm looking for support so could really use a reply. I'm amazed to know there are other people going through similar stuff. I have got rid of my magnifier mirror. Need to ditch the sharp-ended tweezers too. Been telling myself I need them but I don't do I? I told a friend last night that I have dermatillomania, in an effort to promote honesty. Far from freaking out and making me feel embarrassed, she admitted to scratching in the bath and scratching her boyfriend! Seems we all have our little secrets. Thanks for reading. xo
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August 10, 2012

Such a relief.! I am in the EXACT same position, except I don't wear band aids. But I will constantly put off plans because I am too embarrassed to be seen. Once my face clears.. In a day or a couple.. It will be ruined all over again.! I have scabs all over my face.:( I only pick my face when there is a mirror present. Although I also used to use the apple logo on the back of my iPhone, but I got a case that covered that up. But still I find myself using my phone to see the reflection of my face on the screen. I've tried so much... It's ruining my life. It lowers my confidence and self esteem, and worst of all it already managed to ruin my future. I'm only 15. But skin picking had been a problem for me since 7th grade- due to bullying, which is the cause of my picking. Before if became a huge problem, my picking that is, I was seen by a former miss America who wanted to be my modeling agent an encouraged me to take modeling lessons. So I did and I was ready to get my Comp. card done and boom.! The picking hit me. I keep hoping to go back and everyone my face gets better just when we are about to contact her again I ruin it again. I don't know whats wrong with me.!:((((
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August 11, 2012

Omg i do the same. Look at the reflection on my phone...black out my monitor at work....anything that has a reflection i am looking in it. Carry a little mirror which i look into a thousand times a day. I hate the bandaid as it is so embarrassing and draws more attention...but i dont like the redness either...makeup starts out good but by time i get to work it is settled into the scab and looks even worse. I want to just hid in a dark spot...no mirrors with my hands tied for a week so my face will heal. I cant tell you how many accidents i have almost been in as i am looking in the mirror. So depressed by this. I feel so ugly and am so unhappy.
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August 11, 2012

Even after I stop I still find myself looking at my reflection to see how bad it is, and then it starts again. But I try not to because I figure, what does it matter I'd it's bad or not.. By looking it's not going to change what I look like right now. I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself.
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August 11, 2012

Me too. I keep looking to see if there is improvement or worse yet if it has gotten worse. I actually went out today with a light dusting of powder. Went to a friends to pick beans. We where outside in the bright sunshine thought for sure he would say something...he didnt. I then came home washed my face and went to my moms with no makeuo...big steps today for me. My daughters aunt sarah stopped as i was leaving she is a nurse and has some perscription cortizone she is going to give me said it will help alot. We will see once i get it and try it.
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August 11, 2012

I am 41 and your story is identical to mine. Up until I found this site, I thought that I was completely alone in this battle. I wish that I had a magical solution for you, but unfortunately I don't. All I can recommend is to try your best to have willpower and leave your skin alone. Keep busy and make time for exercise. Yoga and meditation has truly been extremely helpful for me. It really allows time to reflect and understand that a few pimples is not the end of the world. Try to remember that the aftermath of a picking session is almost always worse than leaving a pimple alone. Like you, I have missed several important events and time with loved ones. It can be devastating, but just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and know that tomorrow is a new day. One last thing that I can suggest is to tell someone about your condition. It could be a friend, your boyfriend or a physician. Once you do, it's a huge relief because you have someone that understands what's going on. Although, I have been dealing with this for about 20 years now (sad but true), I didn't tell anyone until last year. During my yearly medical exam, I told my phsician and it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Over the years, there have been literally weeks and weeks of work time that I've missed. I too make up excuses and am actually astonished that I have remained employed over the years! Even a few weeks ago I came home at lunch and had a terrible session which resulted in missing that afternoon and the 3 following days. At least if my physician knows, I can confide in her. That part is comforting. I do want to offer you any support that I can provide. Wishing you a lovely evening and weekend ahead. Remember, you are a beautiful person no matter what! :)
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August 11, 2012

MysteriousSunshine...thanks so much for the encouragement. It literally brought me to tears. I just gave my daughter my 6 pairs of tweezers. Yes i have 6 pairs. I then turned right around and went to get them back. My daughter bless her heart absolutely refused. She knows how much this is destroying me, both physically and mentally. I have gone to my doctor and she was very supportive telling me we would work through this together. I have a very good friend at work who knows and she is very supportive. She will come take my mirror away and ask for any tweezers i may have. Also with her knowing stops me from calling in. I am trying calamine lotion for healing as i have read great reviews on this forum. I am really hoping this will speed up the healing. We will see. Have a good evening!
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August 11, 2012

I am so glad to hear that you have some support. That is SO very important! Yes, calamine lotion has been suggested often on this site. For me, I found that it didn't provide any results. Over the years, I have tried endless lotions, potions, creams, cleansers, pills etc...etc... Prior to getting married 6 years ago I broke down and purchased the ProActiv line. These products did absolute wonders for my skin. But, over the years it seems that they are not as effective. So, recently I switched to the Neutrogena All in One scrub and cream. It works on past and present acne. This is truly the first product that has visibly reduced my blemishes. That is part of my issue, the acne never goes away on its own, so I resort to forcing it out. The All in One line shrinks the pimple and it disappears. I would recommend these products! :)
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August 11, 2012

Calamine made it look a little better...not as red...but not the results i was looking for. I am going to keep up with it today and tonight and see what tmrw brings. Of course i wake up with a new spot. So i stuck my tongue out at....lol patted on some bp and told it you will not win i will not pick you!! Lol my new stratagy...bully the spots away...lol
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August 12, 2012

Well yest. Was good did not pick at all. This morning not so. The healing scab really looked bad so i tried scratching it off with my nails as i have given my tweezers to my daughter. And let me tell you no amount of begging, threatening or pleading will get those tweezers back believe me i have tried. So i am head to visit my grandpa with a big ugly red scab on my face. Plus a car full of people wont this be fun :( work tmrw is going to be tough as it did not look this bad on friday. Well day 1 again
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August 13, 2012

Well I am at work. This is going to be rough. I did what I said - minimal makeup - so you can see the red. But you know what it really does not look that bad. It looks a ton worse when I pile on foundation and concelor Which in turn makes the scab more noticable. Everyone already know they are there so I would really rather the redness show through a little bit, then to have a shit load of stuff on to "try" to hid it only making it look worse. I am in for a looooonnnng 8 hours. But I am determined not to mess with my face as normally later in the day I try to "fix" "hide" it more. I am also determined to not look at it constantly, checking to see if it is gone, which it never is. (well I am trying - I have already checked 10 times since I have been to work. In a 25 min periord) lol I am beautiful!!! I am stronger than this!!!! I WILL BEAT THIS!!!! You all have a good day! Stay away from the mirrors. Dont touch your face - You can do it!!! We are all going to beat this together!!!! This is Day 1 - for me as I had a little - not bad - didnt do anymore damage - 3 min picking (yeap 3 min. not the normal 30 min+) moment before I went to bed. I slapped my hands - said wth are you doing, get out, get out now - I even listened to myself. Big step there! X0X0
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August 13, 2012

OMG just took my break - boy am I looking bad. :( Not only is my face red in spots the areas are raised with scabbing. I have not touched or messed with them. But I am not liking this at all. I feel like everyone is looking at me - like what heck but I am doing it. Only 6 more hours!!! Wish me luck at lunch - that is going to be hard!!!
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August 13, 2012

I am not doing well ladies and or gents . I did not mess with anything at lunch.....went to lunch with a friend from work....so that stopped and messing right there, but I am looking worse and worse. Nice big ol' scabs. I am going to have a really hard time tonight not ripping these suckers off. Please someone tell me how long does it take for a scab to go away on its own? I would not know as I never let them alone. Another day? 2? I may be able to hang in there for that much longer, but I am having my doubts. UGH I HATE THIS!!!!! I am also going to have to sit on one of my hands driving home, cuz I can just see my self scratching at everything on my 20 min. drive. Oh Boy.
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August 13, 2012

Well sorry to say the drive home was my downfall :( scratched all my hard work right off on one spot at least. I am so upset. Now flat skin again but open wound did not bleed but red and painful. So I don't know what to do now. Sudocrem...neosporin..both. I just don't know. Cover it..don' cover it. Go rollerbladding and fall on my face...lol
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August 14, 2012

Soembarassed, we've all been where you are so believe me when I say that ThisToo Shall Pass. Even if you need to log in here every hour or every half hour all day long, see if you can give your skin a tiny increment of time to heal by posting about the struggle. So far, I'm finding it to be one of the most helpful tools. And we're all here for support whenever you need it!
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August 14, 2012

Hi there! I give you tons of credit for going to work and keeping your head up. It certainly can be difficult. I find that after an extreme picking episode, the wounds heal in phases. One day they look tolerable the next day just the opposite. For the first 2-3 days after picking I try to leave the wound completely alone. No touching, just simple washing. On the third or fourth day, I run a wash cloth under warm water and then scrub my face with it. This removes the scabs. After (in the evening), I apply Neosporin and go to bed. This system seems to work quite well. I ALWAYS wear make-up. The wounds can be difficult to cover. If they are weeping I dab them with powder. Like you, I check it several times a day. It can be exhausting. All the more reason to try to refrain from picking! :) Well, day by day your skin will repair and get better. Take care.
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August 14, 2012

Ok...at work again looking a little better. Still dont want to be here looking like this. Did put on a little make up today... Foundation and Powder, no concelor as that was setting into the uneveness making it look worse..does not look the best...but yest was hard without any on. Looked like I had bug bites all over my face. Last night I put nothing on my spots before I went to bed. Washed my face, of course some dried skin came off, wish it would stop doing that! Lol makes it look more uneven, put on my glycolic acid cream. And lotion. This morning my spots where looking a little better, drying up, a little scabby looking but not as raised, little flatter. Still red. Feeling a little down, but not a bad as yest. Very hopeful today.
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August 14, 2012

UGH!!!! I need to go home...this is too hard being at work.
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August 14, 2012

I'm sure you look gorgeous =) We are our toughest critics and NO ONE thinks we look anywhere near as bad as WE think we do! Try to keep the scabs moist. It will make them heal much faster. Also, drink lots of OJ because vitamin C helps the healing process too =) Try to wear gloves in the car!! It sounds like that's when you have the hardest time. You wont be able to do much damage with fuzzy gloves over your fingers lol Good luck!!!
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August 14, 2012

thanks Krickster. I will have to try the gloves as in the car is my worst time, that and being alone at my house. I am healing. I know it is looking better. Out of the spots I had all but one are completely gone. The one left is being stubborn as that is the one I mess with more as it is the one I can see the easiest. It is not as raised, just a little bump. But dry and uneven, rought around the edges. I know if I just leave it alone it will go away. I was so hoping it would do so by my brothers wedding on Sunday. I am just not having much faith in that right now. I talk strong on here - but I cant even seem to follow my own advice.
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August 15, 2012

One of my picked sores is healing finally but is raised a little and white around the edges. It is about the size of a dime...is this bad...good? Have any of you had this happen?
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August 15, 2012

Well looking better today. Still red, not raw open skin anymore this is a plus. Still looks like crap with makeup on but after not going with any on Monday and having the worst day ever. I have to put just a little on. Everyone at work thought I had bug bites Monday...ha ha...so I will go with that. I only picked just a tiny bit yest. Just the flaky stuff that was hanging around. Did not pick at all last night....whoot whoot...Put on a little cream my doctor gave me, then some aloe vera at night. So three more days of work. Then I can go all Saturday with no makeup and hope that by Sunday it is way less noticeable. I have to go to my brothers wedding and sure dont want to go the way I am looking now. Especially since it is outside and everything looks 10 times worse outside. Also really want to yank these flourescent lights out from my office!! Sometimes I wish it was just dark all the time!!!
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August 15, 2012

Got a lunch date - special one - I really want to back out of it. But I am not - I am going to do this with a smile on my face and again with my head held high. Really it is only for an hour right - so I can get through this. I will get through this. I will not be embarrassed. I can and will do this. I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy...so he has got to take the good with the bad - right? Better find out now that he is disgusted with the way I look - instead of later. My skin is looking better - all of the six marks with the exception of 1 are not noticable. This one is being freakin stubborn and wouldn't you know it is is on my chin below my lips - so in a spot that everyone notices more.
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August 15, 2012

good luck (: hope it goes well !
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August 15, 2012

Lunch got cancelled not by me though....so of course I used that lunch hour to try and fix my spot more....we all know how that worked. Will I never learn? I cant say it looks worse - but it sure does not look better. Wish it would heal like the others did. Going to keep up with the aloe vera as that seems to be working better then neosporin.
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August 15, 2012

be strong with me please (: just say starting now you are going to leave it alone ! dont even let the thought cross your mind that you wont be able too. you can do this (:
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August 15, 2012

I am trying to be strong with you. Really I am. I am so embarrassed by this. If they weren't so dang red. :( I started out the week feeling optimistic and now it is Wednesday and not looking better. I just want to cry all the time. I don't know what to do anymore
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August 15, 2012

:(
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August 16, 2012

X and a cuddle. Hope you feel better by the next day. Our skin changes every 24hours whereby our bodies are constantly fighting to look after us. X
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August 16, 2012

Day 1 - No picking - yes it is early yet but I am shooting for 30 days with no picking. So wish me luck. Calamine lotion really works. Takes away some of the redness and stops the itch. The itch is what gets me when they are healing as I find myself scratching which if hit just right tears some skin. This in turn has me picking to remove that little piece of skin that was hanging. So here I go! DAY 1
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August 16, 2012

Day 1 tmrw again...was very busy at work which was good as it kept my mind busy. Bad as I was so absorbed in what I was doing I scratched my face and hit that one area and immediately knew I nicked the scab. This sent me running to the bathroom and sure enough there hung a huge piece of skin. At this point I had to remove the rest of it. Then had to try to conceal it for the rest of the day and you all know how that works!!! I was having such a good day up until that point. So now I am home freshly washed face and a blobs of calamine potion on to relieve the pain..itch...and hopefully some of the redness.
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August 17, 2012

I know you can do it, it's all about willpower just imagine your life with good skin and imagine how happy you will be! Don't give in! :) also, you mentioned how you stare into the mirror 100 times a day DON'T DO THIS! This is about the absolute worst thing you can do, try to limit looking in the mirror and only do it if you absolutely have to (like to apply makeup, put in contacts, etc). When you do need to look in a mirror try to distance yourself a bit from it so you're not staring so close to marks and spots that you will feel a tendency to pick at. Good luck :) :)
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August 17, 2012

I have limited my mirror stares over the last 24 hours and it has worked for now...
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August 17, 2012

Ok I am going to try to beat that habit as well as this skin picking issue I have. I think looking (or checking the mirror constantly for imporovement or even worse that it has gotten worse) is making it harder to stop. I used to be able to walk past a mirror without a second glance - now I cant pass up a mirror or for that matter anything that has a reflection. So I left my compact in my car before going into work. I will only go to the ladies room when necessary. I usually go in there what I swear is every 10 min. My co-workers must think I have bladder issues lol. If only that where true lol. I just need to get through the next 9 hours. Then hopefully this weekend will be a major healing. Wont have to put makeup on until Sunday for my brothers wedding. That should be fun as self-conciesous (spl - sorry) as I am feeling. What should be a fun time will probably have me hiding off in a corner. Today starts a new day. I have makeup on today which I think draws more attention to it - but it makes me feel a little better that it is not all red and scary looking....lol! Good luck to all you guys today and may you have a pick free day!
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August 17, 2012

Ok I have caught myself looking in the mirror 10 times already and I have only been to work since 7. I just told myself too "STOP you are only making yourself feel worse" so it is 9:00 am and I am not looking in the mirror again until I get home!!!
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August 17, 2012

Ok today this thing is raised a little no longer flat and it is shinny. Does this mean it is healing? Should i be concerned. Doing ok not looking in mirrors today. Caught myself a couple time. Actually when you stand back from the mirror you can hardly see it. So what do you guys think? Is a scar developing? I hope not as it would be a pretty big one about the size of a pencil eraser.
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August 17, 2012

Oh this is healing mate. LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. Your better than this. If you pick it it will scar. give the poor thing a chance... BIG HUGS
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August 17, 2012

Have not picked since 2:30 yest afternoon. But the dang thing is just asking to be picked! It is a dried up mess. I just got home washed my face. Looked in the mirror...oh my gosh gross..reached for the tweezers...thinking i can fix this...then immediatley put the tweezers down and left the bathroom. I will not give in!!! I am hoping this scab will fall off sometime between now and sunday. Please oh please. So day 2 here i come!!
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August 17, 2012

Hello me again, Been on this site for the last 3 hours!!! But havent picked so thats all good. I have just re read you blog about for like the 3rd time and what stands out to me is the comment you made....."this is so ruining my life" I am 39 so close to your age...and it has dawned on me..you and I are pretty much half way thru our lives. Being a smoker im probably a little further down the road. So are we gonna spend the rest of our lives that we have left saying "this is ruining my life"..."i never want to go anywhere"........" I dont want to spend the rest of my life with bandaids on my face"...girl we have to just stop this shit and take control. Just on a funnier note....your job must be loosing a bit of money in wages with you in the bathroom all the time...giggle...we gotta laugh sometimes. Do you have a support person at work...??
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August 18, 2012

I totally agree. Lol they are not losing money as I am a csr for a phone company and lucky me I have a wireless head set... so i can answer the phone where ever I am....lol I also smoke which at our age I think is delaying the healing. I think we need to kick this habit too. The only thing is sometimes when I get the urge to pick I smoke instead either is not good. Ok we are from this day forward taking control. Right now I have one hell of a scab...just screaming...pick me! Pick me!! But I have told the damn thing to bug off and leave me alone. I have gone since 2:30 yesterday with no picking...that is a very big accomplishment for me! I hope I can hang in there!! I do have a friend at work who tells me like it is...if it is looking bad she wont lie to me. She. Usually tells me it is not noticeable and she wouldn't lie to me. She also tells me stop looking at it when she catches me. So she is a big help.
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August 18, 2012

I had the same shiney large scar on my chin earlier this week. It developed as a raised bump from the scab and when I peeled it on three occasions it started to develop a new skin every time, over and over. I then got the message. I ignored it just for two days before picking it again veryyyy gently. At present it has heeled in to a faint brown scar which is good enough for me. Hope yours also speeds up but this time without the interruptions that I put my skin through habitually. Xxx
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August 18, 2012

Goal orientated. Thanks so much for easing my mind. If is not shiny today and a little more flat. Really dry and scabby. I am going to leave it alone today. I have been putting calamine lotion on it which actually seems to help. I am going to keep applying it and leave on with even doing my errands today...lol this should be fun. I am hoping by tmrw it will just kind of fall off. I have a wedding to go to sunday afternoon and really hope it comes off by then. I have not picked at it or messed with it for 48 hours!!! That is a new record for me! Now my goal is 24 hours. We are all going to beat this addiction. Everyone of us! I know it. Everyone on here is so helpful and supportive and is really helping me
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August 18, 2012

Morning everyone, Well I did it!! I have NOT picked for 62 hours. I started off with 4 just red marks from old small sores, and 4 healing spots (a little crusty) and 2 pretty good ripped apart ones. Got up this morning, looked in the mirror and hello they have fully healed. I dont beleive it. Its amazing how fast the skin heals when left alone. What I decided to do was just watch them see how they heal and what the actual process of the skin is. The one on my chin stayed dry and crusty the whole time but nothing over the top, not overly raised or anything. The same with the one on my nose. It was happy to just to dry up. Then there was what I thought was an old scar, however it had obviously had some puss still in it and it wanted out. So I left it and watched it about 4 times. I was amazed how the skin worked, Within about 3 hours it had brought all the puss to the top. Oh how i could have squeezed this. (It was sssooo small though, now that i look at it. (Last week it would have been the biggest thing ever), so off to the shwer when I got out it was just gone. The body had expelled it itself and I had just washed it off. Im a very proud of myself and have just proved to myself that I am more than capable of doing this. A new small lump turned up last night and I didnt touch it once. (I only noticed this when cleaning my face in the shower). Less than 10 hours and the lump has just gone. It was pretty straight forward. Since I have stopped picking or even just touching my face I believe that I have stopped moving germs, infection from one place to another. And I know that I was creating at least 90% of them myself just from touching. I dont even have acne prone skin. I have noticed though that the one on my chin is actually been caused by the way I smoke. I am right handed and when I bring the smoke to my mouth my third finger hits that spot over and over. I say that the nictone is getting in and causing the infection or even adding to the infection. So I am very aware of this and have cut my smoking from 20 cigs to 5. (everyday is different!! whole other issue) lol There is a couple of what appears to be small white balls under the skin on my chin and they dont bother me. I know they are there and maybe once a day I will check on there progress. i am interested to see if the body will try to expell them or will the just dissapear...I shall keep you informed. The biggest trick for me...was wearing my latex gloves!!! They truely did work for me. I am very small...5ft..43kg and would say that I would run on Nerves for a bit part of my day...so when I start to pick it seems to be a nervous thing. (not in the nervous to see the school principle...just the feeling of constantly moving etc.) and this comes to the fore hard and fast at night...when I try to be still. On come the gloves till bedtime and the rest is history. I did count on the second night that I tried to touch my face at least 40 times!! 30 times the night before. Could you imagine if my fingers had made contact with my skin!!!!! What a damn mess that would have been...!! Well so far so good.... I have to say soembarrassed.. that about 6 times during yesterday I thought of you at work back and forth to that mirror and your struggle and it really seemed to keep things in check. Just the thought that you could all see me...funny but it worked.!! Thanks everyone for the support...see you all 2 nite.!! xxxxx

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