daily progress report!

Posted August 17th, 2012 by thebeautifulugly
So I discovered this website about 3 days ago now, and I have to say that I have found absolutely nothing else to be so helpful :) just the knowledge that I am not alone is enough to help drive me to succeed at stopping my skin picking. I'm a 22 yr old girl living in California, and I've been picking my skin habitually since I was about 14 or so, when I started getting the regular teenage pimples/acne. I've had compulsions to pick at my scabs and fingers/nails ever since I was a little kid though. Like if I skinned my knee there was no way I was going to let it heal on its own, I would pick it away to oblivion until it scarred. And my mom told me the other day that when I was reeeeally little like about 2 I got a cut on my face and I guess I scratched at it until it turned into a dime sized sore, and my mom had to cover it with multiple bandages so I couldn't get at it. I think I found this website at the perfect time, because I decided earlier on the same day that I was going to stop picking & give myself 10 days to clear up my skin and heal my sores and get through what I think is the toughest time, the first week or so. I've tried to stop picking multiple times, and I think the most I've ever gone w/out doing it is probably around a month, give or take. And usually that was because I had a huge event coming up such as prom or winterformal in highschool, or I was on a vacation and had little to no alone time. That's what really kills me the most, is alone time & privacy. I'm making it a point now to always leave the door to my room opened and even the bathroom door so that I never know who in my family is going to walk by and catch me picking. I pick at my face a lot, since it is the first thing I see when I look in the mirror, but I also pick at my body quite a lot too, like my back, chest, breast area, shoulders, and upper arms. The body picking is actually the thing that breaks my heart the absolute most, because I naturally have a really cute figure and I feel like I ruined my natural body with horrible looking ugly scars ): I get really down about how much I've ruined my naturally pretty face, too, but unfortunately I have deep comfort in makeup (which is not good bc I feel it enables more picking). I know I will never be 100% comfortable without makeup, at least not anytime soon. The scars that will remain is one of the hardest things for me to grasp about this habit, but I know that in reality, the most important thing is to actually stop the action of picking before I make anything worse than it already is. I don't want to use medication, I am determined to do this on my own, with my own brain & willpower. And the help of this site, of course :) knowing we are not alone is a wonderful thing, isn't it?! :) :) I'm going to post my progress on here, and I would love to hear all of your stories/advice/weird tips, and I'm always always happy to help out anyone with words of encouragement and positive energy :) I know we all can do it if we truly believe so!! Oh and today is day 3 and I'm feeling good!
‹ is it true that fasting makes your skin heal faster? and help with my thoughts? An idea for all of you CSP out there. ›
On August 29th, 2012 thebeautifulugly said:
So I definitely relapsed :( hardcore. I was going about 13 days and I just broke down. Started with some irresistible looking pimples on my cheek and I ended up tearing up my face & entire upper body :/ I now have a new 10 day goal and I am very determined. I need to do this, picking is ruining my quality of life, if not my life itself.
On August 17th, 2012 hotdamnmess said:
Well done on going 3 days! I discovered the website yesterday. I am 28 years old and started picking around 14 years ago (commencing after my first and worst relationship). At my worst I kept picking at a tiny boil on my forehead (hormonal acne I got at that time of the month) and ended up making a small painful bump into a red lump the size of half a golfball. Literally. It was smack bang in the middle of my forehead and I was so ashamed I ended up chopping a fringe into my hair to cover it. I went to the docs plastered in makeup but it didn't fool the doc and they put me on the pill (cilest). It worked for me in that my skin was clear and luminous for 21 days every month. The week I didn't take the pill, my face would erupt with a few small zits, loads of blocked pores and one or two monster zits. So would start the cycle of picking every month. I am lucky in that my skin heals fairly quickly and I am not scarred physically. I cannot bear to know there is pus or dirt in my skin. Anything which is white, black or raised however tiny, I have to dig it out. If my skin is clear, I will go for my husbands back, such is my compulsion to dig at something. :( Anyway, since having a baby last year, I haven't yet gone back on the pill and my skin is playing up again. It was clearish with a few small blocked pores on the t-zone. I got the blackheads out of my nose. Red mess. Then moved to my forehead. "I'm just going to get one. Oh well, may as well do two." Two hours later I stand back from the mirror and have massive red raised welts all over my face from squeezing and prodding. My 11 month old baby boy smiled at me but was staring at my forehead trying to workout why I looked different. The shame I felt was awful. Thing is, I actually pick worse when I have a big event coming up (striving for clear skin) or just feeling low. Just feeling low this time. I am a product junkie too. Since the high end products are great but too expensive for me now (Bliss is my favourite), I have started looking at basic lines. Last night I washed my face with 'Clean & Clear', patted dry and then applied the whole contents of a capsule of Evening Primrose Oil to my face. Wiped off the excess with tissue and went to sleep hoping for a miracle. Woke up and actually realised the redness had subsided loads. Also the raised welts were now flat red marks not angry purple bruises I normally get the morning after a picking-binge. I'll continue to use the EPO and report back. Here's hoping.
On August 17th, 2012 soembarrassed said:
Day 3 no picking way to go!!! That is great news. How are you doing it? I cant make it past day 1 and it is so discouraging for me. Then I pick more. I am using calamine lotion right now hoping for some relief.
On August 17th, 2012 thebeautifulugly said:
Thankyou!! I know you can do the same!! a 3 day checkpoint is a wonderful place to start if this is something you do everyday. Just take it 12 hours at a time, think of each night as a healing session and the next morning think of it as you don't want to ruin what your body has spent the night healing!! I've been trying to think of my body as my best friend and my biggest supporter, because it is constantly trying to help me heal & be/look my best! And if you start thinking of your body as your friend (I know it sounds dumb), then you will maybe think twice about hurting it, especially if you think about allll the effort it goes through to rebuild broken skin and scar tissue! Also try wearing gloves at night, or whenever you are at home, that is something that's really helped me. Sometimes having just that one little physical barrier can help lots. We can do it! :) just keep going for that 2 day mark! And then the 3rd! Keep me updated :)
On August 17th, 2012 soembarrassed said:
Do you put anything on your picked skin? Do you just let it air out at night?
On August 17th, 2012 thebeautifulugly said:
I've never been one to put bandaids on my skin, although from this site I know some people do that & the neosporin probably does speed up the healing time.. but I've always just let my skin heal by being exposed to the air. I use proactiv every morning and night & love the way it makes my skin feel. the only thing I sometimes put on my face at night is the proactiv refining mask, and I dab that on the spots or sores or places I've picked and it usually dries them up and stops me from touching my face. I also sometimes use this mask during the day (actually have it on now ha!) So that it will create a barrier between my fingers itching to pick & my already picked skin. Hope this helps :)
On August 17th, 2012 wantalife39 said:
Hi ya, I use Dove soap to wash my face, then Foban antibiotic cream (its white and dries pretty fast) (Im in New Zealand) then dr haushka moisturiser and thats it. Im going on the theory to "keep it simple". I dont do the bandaid thing either as it seems to take so long to dry and heal. I have found in the past that some dont heal so in I go and have another hack and I tend to have this thing in the middle and i can kinda pull it out with the tweezers then it bleeds just slightly. But now after doing some research I am finding that the reason MY face has not been healing is that im always touching the bloody thing. I have 2 dogs who I touch all the time and Im a smoker. Imagine whats on my fingers. I have contracted myself to was my hands before I pick. I did this and oh man my hands were black...from the dogs, nicotine, the newspaper, the keyboard and who knows what else!!! High chance I picked my nose at some stage!!!! GROSS..Our bodies will heal naturally and fast if we let them. It blows me away just how fast. It seems so straight forward to me...but its the LEAVING them alone that seems to be my problem. Started with 10 marks/zits bout 36 odd hours ago, have done the above process only and I have 2 left that are fully dry with good healthy scabs on them. Hoping they will fall off in the shower today...if not all good. 2moros another day!! Hope this helps too :) you are not alone
For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.