daily progress report!
Posted August 17th, 2012 by thebeautifulugly
So I discovered this website about 3 days ago now, and I have to say that I have found absolutely nothing else to be so helpful :) just the knowledge that I am not alone is enough to help drive me to succeed at stopping my skin picking. I'm a 22 yr old girl living in California, and I've been picking my skin habitually since I was about 14 or so, when I started getting the regular teenage pimples/acne. I've had compulsions to pick at my scabs and fingers/nails ever since I was a little kid though. Like if I skinned my knee there was no way I was going to let it heal on its own, I would pick it away to oblivion until it scarred. And my mom told me the other day that when I was reeeeally little like about 2 I got a cut on my face and I guess I scratched at it until it turned into a dime sized sore, and my mom had to cover it with multiple bandages so I couldn't get at it. I think I found this website at the perfect time, because I decided earlier on the same day that I was going to stop picking & give myself 10 days to clear up my skin and heal my sores and get through what I think is the toughest time, the first week or so. I've tried to stop picking multiple times, and I think the most I've ever gone w/out doing it is probably around a month, give or take. And usually that was because I had a huge event coming up such as prom or winterformal in highschool, or I was on a vacation and had little to no alone time. That's what really kills me the most, is alone time & privacy. I'm making it a point now to always leave the door to my room opened and even the bathroom door so that I never know who in my family is going to walk by and catch me picking. I pick at my face a lot, since it is the first thing I see when I look in the mirror, but I also pick at my body quite a lot too, like my back, chest, breast area, shoulders, and upper arms. The body picking is actually the thing that breaks my heart the absolute most, because I naturally have a really cute figure and I feel like I ruined my natural body with horrible looking ugly scars ): I get really down about how much I've ruined my naturally pretty face, too, but unfortunately I have deep comfort in makeup (which is not good bc I feel it enables more picking). I know I will never be 100% comfortable without makeup, at least not anytime soon. The scars that will remain is one of the hardest things for me to grasp about this habit, but I know that in reality, the most important thing is to actually stop the action of picking before I make anything worse than it already is. I don't want to use medication, I am determined to do this on my own, with my own brain & willpower. And the help of this site, of course :) knowing we are not alone is a wonderful thing, isn't it?! :) :) I'm going to post my progress on here, and I would love to hear all of your stories/advice/weird tips, and I'm always always happy to help out anyone with words of encouragement and positive energy :) I know we all can do it if we truly believe so!! Oh and today is day 3 and I'm feeling good!