Progress Report with Photos
Posted September 4th, 2012 by Sarah-108
Day 1: Let me start off by saying I had a well written post all done up until my internet decided to crash. :( Oh well! It's time to get a hold of this issue I've been having with dermatillomania once and for all. When I was younger I had pretty bad acne, especially around my chin (cystic), and this caused me to pick a lot. After I went on accutane, most of my acne went away, so I needed something else to do instead. I then started to pluck my eyebrows. I had the compulsion to dig for even the TINIEST hair, which caused my hair follicles to become infected, and scabs to form, which I in turn picked to form larger scabs. It is apparent that I also suffer from trich as well, but it only pertains to my eyebrows. 3 years later and I'm still dealing with this. I have been dealing with dermatillomania for roughly 11 years in total. I start my second year of nursing on Wednesday, and although I know my skin won't be better by then, I think I need to start my healing process.To start, I have decided to make a challenge beginning tomorrow. My challenge is to rid myself of tweezers and not pluck anything for 7 days in order to help with healing. After those 7 days, I will allow myself to pluck, but only once a week, and only pluck hairs that are fully visible. I will not pluck in the moment, which means I will make sure a sterilize everything before and after to prevent infection. Now I have my photos from day 1 to show you. I took them tonight and have not picked since yesterday afternoon, so some of the initial wound redness has gone down and scabs have formed. I personally feel like it looks a lot worse when I look in the mirror. Photos don't seem to emphasize the dryness of the scabs, or the swelling underneath my one eyebrow due to infected follicles from plucking. It's horrible I know, and this will be next to impossible to cover with makeup on Wednesday, but I have to start somewhere! Stay strong! PHOTOS: 1 -http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb121/sarah-108/Dermatillomania/DSCF4489.jpg 2 - http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb121/sarah-108/Dermatillomania/DSCF4485.jpg
On September 25th, 2012 Emmi said:
Im sorry to hear about your cat, I too know how hard it is to loose an animal you have had for so long. It can be hard, and the stress can contribute to picking, you need to be aware of this, certainly feel emotional about the things going on in your life, but also make sure not to let them get you to a point where you pick again. I really hope your poor little cat pulls through :)
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On September 25th, 2012 Emmi said:
Im so sorry to hear that Sarah, I hope you are ok. In situations like this, I can understand how you can want to pick, I am glad to hear that it hasnt been very deep or to the same extent as previously. The scabs will hopefully heal alot faster. We're always here if you need support :)
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On September 24th, 2012 Emmi said:
Sarah, How did your job interview go? its sooooo good to hear that your doing well. You seem to be very positive, which is great!! your doing so well. I really hope the interview went well! :)
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On September 24th, 2012 Emmi said:
Well which ever job you get, I hope it works out, if you dont get the pub job, at least you have A job, then when there is an opening at the pub, you can always apply, my mother always says, its easier to find work, when you have work :) Its always good to stay positive :) Ive been struggling with that the past week, but Pulling myself out of it :)
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On September 20th, 2012 Emmi said:
Your doing great Sarah, good work, that pimple on your chin will go away you just have to try extra super hard to stop picking, use an anti fungal cream on it, it works well, before bed, put it on, and in the morning put it on before your make up :) With your eyebrows try a facial crensing oil, or an eye mousteriser cream, it will help with the dry flakey skin :) Glad to hear your remembered why you fell for your man :) I love hearing that people are happy in there relationship :)
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On September 17th, 2012 skreed29 said:
you look so healed and beautiful!!!!!! (: (: (: i can totally relate to the trust thing in a romantic relationship and in any relationship at all ! me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 2 and a half years and i cant bring myself to tell him i love him. i have in the past, but im just not comfortable with it at this point. im a very insecure person, and even though he tells me he loves me and i know that he really does.. its hard for me to emotionally give myself over to him like that. he works third shift and this morning when he came home he was excited about something and couldnt sleep. so we put in a movie and just cuddled in bed and then he looked at me and said "do you love me yet ?" i said no, even though i think i do, i just cant say it yet. and then he went on to tell me that i should, because whatever happens to either of us from now on, good or bad, its something that we are going to go through together. its sweet to me when he talks like that because he is expressing to me that he has already decided that we will be together forever, and for the most part i believe it.. but there is this part of me that is so doubtful, i think to myself that i can never be sure of how someone else will deal with something because im not them. i think it goes back to my childhood and family relationships, but reguardless, i need to learn how to trust him because he deserves it !
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On September 18th, 2012 skreed29 said:
i dont know if i got the job yet ! they said they had a few people to interview before they chose, but i hope (: you should think about your relationship from an objective place and see if it still seems one sided ! people can give you their opinions about how it is all they want but no one knows exactly how it is except for you and him ! and if you decide he doesnt treat you right, or appreciate you enough then you should do something about it. i know sometimes i personally feel like niko doesnt do somethings for me that he should, but when i step back and re evaluate, usually it turns out that im just being silly and insecure, and i think most girls do from time to time. the only thing that really really bothers me is how he is always on his phone. i know hes busy though because he works a full time job and also runs a recording studio in his FREE time.. so i try to remember that i shouldnt be offended when he seems to be spending more time on his phone than paying attention to me. you should never let a man use you or take advantage of you, though. if you arent happy you should remind yourself that there is someone out there who will treat you better than him and then go out and find him ! (:
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On September 18th, 2012 skreed29 said:
i struggled with eating disorders all through middle and highschool too ! for me it was linked to body dysmorphic disorder but im healthy with my eating habits now ! i am a vegan and also stay away from gluten, refined sugar, vegetable oils, and soy. but i eat a lot and am at a very healthy weight and i think i am lucky to have the body that i have. occasionally though i will treat myself to some ice cream or something and i freak out about it afterwards and it generally leads to a serious picking relapse. i have always been a self sabotager. my brother and my mom have substance abuse problems since i can remember. in highschool i started to experiment with alcohol and drugs myself and it became a big part of my life. thankfully i have overcome both of those things ! but the picking is still hard for me.. i think for most of us skin picking is an issue which is deeply rooted and even if we can identify the roots, there are some things that cant ever be resolved. its like when we pick at a pimple or an ingrown hair we are trying to pick our emotional problems out ! haha. i know we can stop picking though, even if right now it seems a little out of reach.
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On September 17th, 2012 Emmi said:
Your eyebrows look amazing hun!! Keep up the AMAZING work!!
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On September 19th, 2012 Emmi said:
Im sure you will do fine, print wallet size pictures or your results and before you go to pick, look at how beautiful they are.. it will help you not tear them apart :)
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On September 20th, 2012 Emmi said:
I use that technique with my nutrition plan, I keep picture in my wallet of how I want to look and when I think about eating bad foods i whip them out, have a look and go for a bowl of Veggies or similar, its GREAT, works a treat!
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On September 6th, 2012 skreed29 said:
i like your freckles (:
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On September 6th, 2012 skreed29 said:
i try (: im freckled too and i think they are just the cutest ! haha
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On September 4th, 2012 Deimos said:
I'm inspired by you, Sarah, I am going to stop picking my cuticles and face. Sometimes I don't even know that I am doing it until it starts bleeding! I guess tomorrow will be day one since I already completely messed up today!
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On September 4th, 2012 skreed29 said:
you have beautiful eyelashes ! (:
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