Split End Pickers?

Posted January 20th, 2009 by tarab

Okay, I don't know if ya'll do this but, I rip out my split ends and I have to see what they look like. I have to ge them all out of my hair. I am ripping out the back of my hair! Help, do you do this?

On May 21st, 2013 mia_mia said:

So ive just come across this forum now, is there a diagnosis for this problem? ive had an obsession to pick and cut my split ends ever since i was 11, now i am 20, it has become worse over time and like a lot of you have written i got the same problems. i can spend hours at a time jus looking at my hair for split end and then ripping them off and if i get hair scissors its even worse as il literally cut every single one i see until i go cross eyed! its so bad i hate doing it but yet get so much satisfaction. and when i dont look at my hair im feeling thru them constantly, i do it in public, at uni, tv, work , everywhere it so embarrassing i know it looks weird and i really do want to stop. i know its damaging to my hair but its an overwhelming urge to jus pick and pull. it surely just cant be a dirty habit? my head itches right now for me to just pick pick pick!!! help guys! what do you advise?

On May 8th, 2013 taniasg11 said:

do not do that! instead use a pair of new scissors and clip the end.

On May 6th, 2013 waterglass said:

I decided to cut about 6 inches off of my hair, so now it is a cute bob instead of a fried, uneven mess. I got my hair cut by a friend who is a stylist, so she didn't say anything about the damaged state of my hair like the last lady did! And it's short enough that all the patches of shorter hair (from breaking it) are invisible. After I got my hair cut, I didn't pick for like 2 days which is the longest in years! I've started picking a little bit at the front again, but I'm trying really hard not to. I don't want my hair growing out and looking awful again! It was cool to sign back in today and see the new people who have joined--I really didn't think anyone else had this problem. Thanks to all of you for being here :)

On May 1st, 2013 KC said:

HI!!! I am very glad to have found this! O geez. I am picking split ends as I do this. Yipee. i just need someone to check in with me to make sure I am breaking my habit!!

On May 1st, 2013 dramagirlx said:

You have no idea how happy I am to have found this! I'm 12,13 in 15 days, and can't stop. My hair a complete mess and it looks awful. All my friends yell and hit me when i do it! Its so addictive. It sounds so stupid when i talk to anyone about it but is so difficult! I can't stop looking at my hair! Its so dry and horrid. I try so hard to stop but even when I'm not looking at my hair I'm feeling for split ends and pulling them through my nails! I get covered in hair all the time and once in class i gathered up all my hair and it was crazy how much was there. Even if i get it cut i still look! I can't help it. Since now nobody understands. It feels like its taking over my life and there is nothing i can do about it! My english teacher told my mother that i have been zoning out in hair mode. I can't stop, I've started to hack at it with scissors now. Any pair i see i'll nip at the ends. Even if they're not split i pull at them until they are! I've started pulling at the back of my hair now and if i put my hair up all the back it really short under all my hair. HELP!

On April 22nd, 2013 rayann said:

I wish more ladies would report back here every few weeks with updates.. I had gone 2 months without picking/cutting a single split end. I only accomplished this through some will power and a lot of putting my hair up in a pony tail (even though it's still long and I can still see the ends). I was feeling accomplished after the first month. But then the splits started getting long and longer, and my hair felt dry and gross, and I just felt ugly. I wouldn't pick or cut the split ends, but I would want to inspect them and then just leave them be. Staring at some major split ends in my hair, I just couldn't see how this was healthy for my hair. You see, I am addicted to picking my split ends, but mostly, whenever possible, I would use a pair of baby scissors to cut the splits off. I had gotten a haircut after about 4 weeks of not cutting my split ends, but it only helped a bit... So after watching the split ends grow and grow, I decided it couldn't be good for my hair. After reading about split ends some more online, I decided to break my "fast" and I spent today trimming split ends out of my hair. It was a gutsy move. Honestly, I felt really bad breaking my "fast." But I decided I needed the trim, and I can't afford to pay $30 for a haircut every 4 weeks. So I trimmed a lot of my ends today. I tried to focus mostly on the big ones that are working their way up the shaft, because they're most damaging to my hair if I don't get them. But when all was said and done, my hair was so much more silky and smooth than before, and a slight miracle: I was satisfied with enough of the split ends gone that I am now wearing my hair down, enjoying the silky smooth texture, and not tempted to look for the few more split ends that I KNOW are still there. :) Now that I think my hair is mostly smoothed out now, I'm going to focus on PREVENTING split ends so there are less to tempt me. I will start using hydrating shampoo and conditioner, (shampooing only scalp), and tonight or tomorrow I'm going to head to the store to pick up a heavy conditioner to use weekly. I'm also going to make a conscious effort to be gentle with my hair when brushing/combing. As for the "trimming" like I did today, I think I will limit it to one day a week, or one day every two weeks (I'll have to decide when it seems necessary). Ok, well that's my update with my new strategy: willpower, hair up to help break the habit some, trim the ends really good when they start getting ridiculous, and then focus on PREVENTION to make it all easier the next time around.

On April 21st, 2013 banshee said:

I can't believe there is a group for this. As a teenager I used to spend hours splitting my split ends. I stopped after a couple of years, I don't know why. Now I am retired and have a lot of free time and about a month ago I started doing it again! My husband told me (in a concerned way) he hates to see me do that and I felt so embarrassed. My mom used to yell at me all the time when I did it as a teen but that made me want to do it even more. My scalp hurts but I can't seem to leave my hair alone. :( It's shoulder length and I don't want to get it cut super short but I'm considering it now.

On April 20th, 2013 ab2552 said:

first of all, i'm 12, turning 13 in less than two weeks. when i was 8 or 9, 3rd grade or so;i started pulling out my eyelashes. yeah, ive had trich (trichotillomania) i think its about 5 years now. just recently i stopped pulling my eyelashes. it always used to get to me because i looked so stupid without them and i would always cry at night. my friends got used to it and knew not to talk about it. then i moved on to middle school and that meant a bunch of new people, always asking me why i didnt have eyelashes and i was always stressed. so a few months ago, i stopped. completely. i dont even care about them, they dont bother me, and i dont wear makeup so im not constantly looking at them. so naturally, i had to start all over: with my split ends. ive been picking them for about 9 months so far, and im addicted. ive probably pulled out like 20 just writing the beginning of this comment. basically i stop whatever im doing, sit there for hours, and ruin my hair. i recently had state testing, and it was timed for 4 hours, and i found that i spent about 2 hours picking my ends (its lucky im smart and finished quickly) and my black tshirt was covered in my hair. its not noticable because its always at the nape of my neck, ive actually ripped off about 12 inches off some of my hair. and they dont seem to want to get shorter so theyre long enough to look stupid but not short enough to look natural. i know some people have strategies to stop but i dont know any and ive already cut my hair (it didnt work). any for any of you here who dont actually pull their hair who might ever wish to call me stupid because who pulls their hair, well i do. you dont understand what its like to hate yourself so much and it feels like someones taking over your hands and your life. you feel like a complete stranger to yourself, locked in a cage, only being able to watch as something causes you to rip your hair apart. i feel disgusting.

On May 1st, 2013 dramagirlx said:

You sound exactly like me! Same age same problem. Want to let you know I completely understand and am here for you! It feels like you're no longer in control and its starts effecting your whole life!

On April 15th, 2013 Ashley868 said:

I love picking at my split ends. Sometimes I think it is addictive. I am constantly checking my hair for split ends or breaks. I love finding strands that have a bunch of splits going up it. I once found one with fifteen splits. Today I found one with a bunch of small ones close together going up. I'm not really interested in the ones at the end that are just Y's. I prefer ones with more than one split. I like the smaller one bunched together because they kind of have a fluffy look to them. I also like it when I find a break. I will bend it a bit before I let it break off. Sometimes I find ones with multiple breaks in it, and some are close together. I get my hair trimmed often, so I am always disappointed one I get my hair cut and then split ends are gone. It's so strange to find a forum like this. I thought I was the only one who enjoyed them. I thought most women would be upset that their hair is damaged. I know it's likely from my hair straightened. I notice I can see them better when I have the lights out and I am in front of my computer. So at night when I can't sleep I sit in the dark in front of my computer and I pick at my split ends. It's something that can keep me occupied for a long time.

On April 15th, 2013 BritterBug said:

i straiten my hair all the time, but i love it like that, i will sometimes let it go naturally wavy and or put stuff in to help it make it more wavy... ive dyed my hair too much aswell, any or all can be the reason for the split ends, but it is like a crazy ocd addiction or something, i do it almost 2-3 times a day, where i see like 8 pieces coming off 1 strand its like eww and you know theres soo much more, but you cant get it all so i eventually get pissed and disgusted and just strart pulling (near the ends) and lotsssssss just easily come off, i wonder how many ppl may notice and does my hair look bad/unhealthy someone help!!!! :(

On April 14th, 2013 Hairproblem12 said:

You don't know how glad I am that I found this website. I always thought that it was just me... It all started in 7th grade. I was perfectly fine with my hair, but one day I was in class and some girl walked up to me and said "YOU NEED A HAIR CUT! Look at those split ends!" I didn't even know what a split end was until she explained it. After that, I would only do it when I was bored. Then my family and I went on a trip, by car, and I became obsessed. I would turn my moms iPad onto a white screen and I had at it. Then my teachers would single me out because I would be dozed off in a hair picking mode, so they would call on me and I wouldn't know the answer. Whenever we get partners in school, the partner would come to my desk and it would have hair strands all over it. When I pick, I don't pull the hair from my scalp, I simply just wrap my finger around it and pull it a few inches above where the split is. I have recently figured out that after you take a shower and your hair is still damp, but your able to see the split ends, if you begin to split the hair it will go all the way to the scalp.I've know that for a while but this morning after my shower I got onto my computer and I went berserk. I'll bet that I split 50-100 hairs, all the way to the scalp and I WAS PROUD OF MYSELF. After I split them I looked at the now two pieces of hair and saw all of the splits that I just created and I almost start laughing because I think it's so amazing. Whenever I find a split with more than 4 on it, I congratulate myself. Once I even caught myself thinking "THIS IS WHY I PICK! TO FIND THE TREE HAIRS!!!" Soon enough, my parents caught on to my obsession and whenever they see me doing it they will say "STOP PICKING YOUR HAIR!" They don't understand. I can't. I honestly wish that I could stop. It's getting in the way of my life. All of my friends tell me how bad it is for my hair, and I know what it's doing. But I can't stop. Even when I put my hair in a ponytail or braid, my hair is long enough that I can pull it around to my face and I can still pick. I NEED HELP DESPERATELY.

On April 13th, 2013 rayann said:

Hey ladies. I initially began using the jar/quarters method, and I've been keeping my hair in a ponytail most of the time to make things easier. I've now gone 6 weeks without picking a split end, but I'm still so tempted! Even in a ponytail, I want to bring the ends into view so I can "investigate" the ends. I've gone through such a mental battle with this, to the point where I've wondered if it's really *worth* breaking the habit. Maybe I could just allow myself 10 minutes each day, right? So tempting, but I know that I NEED to get to the point where I just don't care about the split ends at all. I have bought hydrating shampoo/conditioner (but haven't used them yet) that will hopefully, at the very least, hide the split ends from me. It's just so difficult. I thought it would get easier with time, but it hasn't been, because the longer you go without picking, the more split ends remain in your hair. I got a haircut two weeks ago, and that helped a bit. But not for too long. My hair is about down to my elbows. I'm considering cutting it much shorter (maybe shoulder length?) if it would help, but I know my boyfriend wouldn't be happy about it (he has no idea about any of this), and I would prefer to keep fairly long hair anyway. I'm just feeling a bit hopeless right now, since I've had the physical success of not picking, but I am still battling for mental success over this.

On April 7th, 2013 lindseymay said:

oh goodness I'm so happy I'm not alone when it comes to this! I always pick at my ends I totally cant help it! I cant even remember when it all started but i have always picked at them. Its gotten to the point where I don't care who I'm with or where i am i will go through my hair and find a split some where, or if I'm in class and I see one I have to get it or it drives me crazy! Now I dye my hair all the time so my hair at the ends is pretty dead so I always find the weirdest splits like ones within ones and I'm all happy I found one and I cant help but pull it apart I hate it after though cause I find all those little hairs everywhere and it makes me feel nasty, like a dog shedding. For me it doesn't even matter if I cut my hair short I always find a end and pick at it. Its sad i even know the best places on my head to find the best splits. Its such a full blown bad habit but it relaxes me for some reason. At least I know I'm not alone when it comes to this annoying habit.

On April 5th, 2013 cssutter said:

omg I'm glad I found this site I thought I was the only one who did this. It drives my husband crazy. Especially all the hair in the carpet like you've all said. It breaks the vacuum cleaner because it gets stuck. My hair has started to look horrible. I use to have beautiful long brown hair. Now it's medium length and choppy looking. what can I do to stop?

On March 29th, 2013 hair123 said:

Wow I wish I had found this sooner! So I've always had the prettiest long blonde hair who everyone envied and the kind that was down to my lower back. I've never had short hair and for the first time I've cut my hair. ( I'm 21) I've only had trims never drastic cut! But no one knows THE REAL REASON I chopped my hair off ( its a little above my shoulders now) the real reason I had to cut it was bc I could not stop picking my split ends off! I was obsessed with doing so. it had taken over my life making me crazy! I would even get head aches bc If i wasn't searching for split ends directly I was doing so with my peripheral vision. I had been doing it since I was 14. started from boredom in class, then as my hair became longer and longer and the focal point of my appearance I would do it more and more. but lately It has gotten to the point like everyone said that their loved ones would yell and swat my hands when they saw me do it, I literally had to vacuum everyday bc there would be pieces of hair everywhere! If I had my hair in a pony tale where it was out of sight, I'd be thinking about picking but wouldn't act on it if I couldn't see them. so It was to that point where I had this beautiful thick hair that I couldn't wear down or else the WHOLE TIME I would be searching and picking for splits. So I came to the Idea of if I cut my hair short and couldn't see the split ends and there wouldn't be one on every hair bc they would be cut off then maybe, just maybe I could stop. Its been 3 days since cutting my hair and I haven't picked at all!!! I feel almost free of this addiction! I know that I was a severe case and prob could've even been medicated for it bc I'm still finding old hairs that have broken off in my carpet and when I pick them up I search for a split end on it, get almost excited when I find one and freaking pick the split end off of my dead hair that has been in the carpet for days!! So my GOAL is to rid myself of this addiction and let my hair grow out healthy and be able to enjoy my long hair again and not let it control my life and time! Thanks everyone for reading, feel free to ask me questions, your not alone, ( I would even comb through hair non stop pulling out loose hairs as well) and have stopped that now since hair is short. There is hope and you can stop

On March 27th, 2013 torikdavis said:

HI! This is the best website ive ever found so I'll tell you my story too. I naturally have thick, curly, brown hair that I used to be self conscious about. In 7th grade I was watching Mean Girls, yes the movie with Lindsay Lohan, and Regina George looked at her split ends and broke one off. I immediately tried it, and soon after I began to do it more. I would do it mostly at school, when no one was looking, and in carpeted areas where no one could see. I started with the hair underneath on the back of my head. It evolved to the spot on the back of my head where hair grew from. My mom noticed my freshman year of high school when my hair was longer on one side than the other and she had it cut super short. My hair hasnt grown back, but the habit hasnt gone away. I have tried many things such as snapping a rubber band on my wrist, but as soon as I get bored or sit in front of my computer, the picking begins. At some point I started not only breaking the split ends, but pulling the entire hair out. I tried cutting the split ends with scissors but I was cutting off much more hair than I realized. I get so jealous seeing girls with long, thick, curly hair now because mine will not grow, not that it could with me pulling it out. It's no longer caused by stress, boredom, or anxiety. Its just something that I do, and that everyone has given up on stopping. I do it at school, and there is a small pile of hair under all of my desks. I even doing it while I am driving, and sometimes I don't even realize it. I will sit in bed for hours on end picking my split ends, and then gasp at the pile of my hair on my floor and run and hide it in the trash can. I am ashamed and embarrassed and I dont know how to stop it. I recently watched the show on netflicks about people with OCD and one lady picked her hair until she was bald and had to wear wigs. I REALLY dont want that to be me.So please, I am a senior in highschool, 6 mondays away from graduation and all I want is to stop this horrible habit and grow long hair.

On March 26th, 2013 san said:

OMG!! I'm really excited to find this group. I've read many solutions including the quarters in the jar, the part where someone yells out loud when u do it, etc. But what bothers me so much is that I feel so bad when I do, but I cant control it. It makes me releived and its actually quiet blissful. But according to my parents and friends I look like a person who is mentally challenged. When actually I'm not. Im a senior in college and Im about to step into the corporate world. I really want to start afresh and change this one habit about me that seems to bother everyone around me. I really need help you guys! This obsession started as a child( I think about 10 or 12) and it just stayed all through high school and even college. It started out as a part-time habit( when I was studying for exams or tests) but now its just become a continuous habit. There's no way I can control my hands from finding split ends. I keep stroking my hair and I have gotten so good at it that I can tell if there's a split just by sensing the texture of the hair( I know gross right?). I have extremely frizzy hair and every strand of my hair has a split end. Some times single strand contains 3-4 splits. I tend to rip all these off!! I know its pretty gruesome. I've tried some of the solutions but I havent gotten rid of this habit yet. Do I really need to see a councillor or a therapist? Is it really a serious mental illness?? Because some of the other articles I read, said so. So pls help me out! By suggesting a solution that is simple and efficient. I really dont want to be "The-girl-obsssed-with-ripping-out-split-ends". :(

On March 18th, 2013 kayleigh1995 said:

Hi. I have had this problem for coming on 2 years now and it seems to be overtaking my life in certain ways, my family especially my mum screams at me when I do it, which I still deny I do it which makes us argue, my boyfriend trys his hardest not too get frustrated, my friends try not to mention it but I know that they are thinking it, it comes to the point where I can sit there for hours, I have to brush off my clothes and even the table I work on at college, everywhere I go I can't break off this habit. I will stop anything I'm doing if I see one at the corner of my eye, I've tried making my hands busy all the time, nothing works. I used to have long beautiful thick hair down to my bum and now, if its in a ponytail you can see bits sticking out of every direction and when its down it seems to look odd, I have a bald patch on the side of my head now, where the hairline is and I've stopped with that certain part but it seems to be breaking off anyway. I struggle to look in the mirror sometimes its making me so self concious, I don't mean to sound vain but I'm not an ugly person, I'm 18 soon and this should be my prime but instead this habit is constently fucking with me. Reading this blog had me in tears because I honestly thought I was the only one that had this problem until today.. I just need some help with it, I can't see the doctors helping nor a counceller, anyone. I didn't mean to sound like a emotional wreck writing this but I feel so relieved right now.

On March 20th, 2013 waterglass said:

omg i'm so happy i found this page. i have been doing this for years & i also don't know how to stop. i have a counselor for other issues but i'm afraid to really tell anyone because no one takes it seriously (they just see it as a quirk or even "cute"). i guess it used to be quirky but now i am doing it almost constantly...i get haircuts so i can start fresh but within days my hair looks fried because i have ripped all the ends off. i have little bumps around my hairline from pulling. sometimes i even take tiny scissors and will cut the ends. my hair is really choppy now and the last time i had it cut the stylist asked if i had burned it off with a straightener and also wanted to know who cut my hair that way (haha). i feel so embarrassed even typing this, but i feel better knowing other people out there are doing this. i've been searching all over the web to find this. putting my hair in a ponytail doesn't always work because many strands are too short so i pick at those, but i think i may try headbands & buns so i can't reach anything. ugh. if anyone has tips besides that, i would greatly appreciate it!

On March 18th, 2013 rayann said:

Kayleigh1995, I'm so glad you decided to look for help on the internet (who knew, right?!). As you can read below, I've had this problem for 6 or 7 years. For probably 5 or 6 of those years, I thought, hey, this habit isn't hurting anyone. So I didn't think it was worth effort to quit. But now I've realized that it really is an addiction. I realized just how many hours I was wasting of my life, sitting there each evening picking. As I had mentioned in my previous post, I'm using a "reward system" where I number 30 quarters and put a quarter in a jar after each day that I successfully don't pick at my hair. Once I've gotten to 30 days (about the number of days it takes to break a bad habit), I'll take the money and treat myself to something special. If I mess up even one day, I empty all the coins out and start from scratch. After 6-7 years of this stupid addiction, I've successfully gone 19 days today without picking my split ends. Here is how I've done it so far: *****hair in a pony tail at the back/top of my head 99% of the time. With my hair away from my face, it's less of a distraction and I'd really have to go out of my way to look at my split ends. I think it's really important to do this at the beginning, because when you struggle with the addiction, it's interesting to note how many times a day you might habitually reach towards your hair to start picking, but if it's in a pony tail, you have time to catch yourself and stop before you start. :) *****hair down only on special occasions, and only for a few hours at a time. When I go on a special date with my boyfriend for example, I wear my hair down. Only do this when you know you will be busy/occupied. This gives a chance for you to "test" yourself. I've been tempted to pick when my hair is down, but the thought of emptying out that entire jar after these 19 days makes me think twice. *****make a conscious effort when you see the split ends to think, "I don't *need* to pick this. It's actually ok if I leave this in my hair. Most people do! It's *normal* to have the split ends in my hair. And I'm only thinking how wonderful my upcoming haircut is going to feel to my emotions, haha! *****do this 30 days of "reward system" for multiple rounds. I realize I'm not going to completely break this addiction after only 30 days. For this first 30, I'm keeping my hair up 99% of the time like I said. I've allowed myself to touch and look, but absolutely NO PICKING. Next time around, I will probably keep my hair up 60-70% of the time. Only allow myself to look, maybe, but no touching the ends. And so on. *****believe that you **CAN** do this!! It will take effort. You will have be willing to keep an eye on yourself and catch yourself. But you will be gaining your life back!! If you ever need any support or anything, don't be afraid to say so. I check back every so often to see if there's anyone going through this, because I know this is **really** hard to break and we all could use support as we try to gain our lives back. Best wishes.

On February 27th, 2013 rayann said:

I'm so thankful to find a sort of "support group" for this with people actively and recently posting! I have been picking/cutting my split ends for 6 or 7 years now. (Started in high school; I've now graduated college.) My family is annoyed greatly by my habit, but I just can't stop. I'm pretty good about refraining while around other people, but I live apart from my family, and I could spend an hour or two each evening picking at my hair if I start. I'd have to put my hair up in a ponytail to reduce temptation, although that didn't help at work because if things were slow at work, I'd just pick at my ponytail. But I want to stop! It's embarrassing, I'm sick of having little pieces of hair all over the bathroom counter and on the floor in the car, and I feel like I've just wasted so much time in my life with this stupid addiction. I'm ready to reclaim my life and move on! I was reading that there's a generally accepted theory that it takes 30 straight days of success to break a bad habit. So here is what I'm doing: I've taken 30 quarters and written numbers 1-30 on each of them in washable marker. Each day that I successfully abstain from picking at my hair, I will drop a quarter in a jar. If I revert back to picking, even for a day, I will dump all the quarters out of the jar and start again. But when I successfully get all 30 quarters in the jar, I plan to let myself buy a knitting pattern (I *love* knitting!) with the money from the jar. Maybe the addiction won't be permanently broken after 30 days, but I can always repeat the process every 30 days as an incentive to stick to it. I plan to keep myself busy with work, hobbies, exercising, cooking, cleaning. Put my hair in a ponytail. Place a note to myself on my desk at work, post notes in my kitchen, bathroom.. anything and everything to break this addiction! And if I revert back and fail for even a day, I will post in this group and let everyone know. That way I can be held accountable. I hope this works, and if anyone wants a partner for support or something while dealing with this, I'm here for you. Seriously. Don't be embarrassed or shy. I could stand to have the support as much as you could. :)

On March 29th, 2013 hair123 said:

you sound just like me! So glad there are others and I'm not the only crazy one that can't stop this! I just posted a comment and you should read it. I've been rid of the habit for 3 or 4 days now and I'm not tempted. but Its a sacrifice to be made to stop ( at least for me it was) thanks for sharing!

On February 1st, 2013 Solution Seeker said:

Because I stopped playing with my hair, my husband stopped biting his nails! I'm thrilled!

On April 14th, 2013 Hairproblem12 said:

You obviously don't have a serious problem if you can just stop.

On February 1st, 2013 Solution Seeker said:

I've done great for two days now and it feels really good! Even if my hand goes up to my hair, I'm more aware of what im doing and just stop. I have to have more control over it than it has over me. I'm also telling people (close friends only) that I've stopped, which will keep me accountable!! Whatever it takes!!

On January 30th, 2013 Solution Seeker said:

Reading this blog was comforting yet disturbing at the same time. It dawned on me that a solution is what's needed here. I am a creative thinker, and although I have not been able to stop playing with my hair myself, reading your words has inspired me to come up with a possible solution. We really need to think of this as an addiction and call ourselves on it. Whoever said in one of the previous blogs that she told her husband and family to remind her when she does it, that's brilliant! To say out loud that you have this problem is the first step. Everyone sees us doing it anyway, so what's the difference. Listen, we all know how much time we are wasting pulling at our hair. In fact, I am starting a new job next week and I am vowing not to play with my hair for the entire time that I am at my job! How am I going to do this?? I am going to promise to all of YOU that I am not going to do it!!! I have found that making a conscious effort to think about it when I start to do it helps me to stop. In order to help make it conscious, ill write myself little notes (and put them in different places where I will see it often) reminding me not to do it. Because this is a difficult addiction like all other addictions, you need to start small and give yourself little goals. Tell yourself that there is a certain time where you absolutely won't do it and may try to increase that time little by little, and maybe even keep a journal. --- I just spoke to my husband and told him I'd really like to stop playing with my hair, to which he replied "you're ALWAYS playing with your hair!!" and I said, well I'd like to stop. Can you please remind me to stop when you see me doing it? And he said he'd be happy to. I then reminded him that I tell him to stop biting his nails, I need him to help me stop playing with my hair. To be honest I winced when I started to say it out loud, but then it felt good to commit to it and get it out in the open. I haven't even looked to see if there is a support group, I'm sure there is, but the thought of signing up to one doesn't appeal to me - however hopefully some of my suggestions can help all of us, or at least some!!! I'm in this with you, and to be honest, it feels good to be doing something about it. I am going to start a little journal to keep track of - starting when I'm done with this long blog - lol - and track the time that I DON'T play with my hair. The idea is to be able to write down as much time as possible throughout your day till we are no longer doing it and only see it for the problem that it is. Between the reminder notes, our (close) family reminding us, and consciously tracking our time (no different than watching what we eat!!) maybe we can become more productive and nip this in the bud. I'm sure we are a dynamic group of women and the bottom line is that we share the same problem and have to help each other. Well, I've already committed to this by engaging my husband and putting it out there to all of you. Anyone else in??? :o)

On January 31st, 2013 Jaja888 said:

I just wish that people would treat this as an actual disease and not a self-control issue. My parents think that it's because I'm just dumb. I (mostly) stopped pulling my hair once I decided to start counting every hair I pulled for a week. I stopped after 3 days.

On January 6th, 2013 Rosmertas said:

And from te hair I pull out the hair that's growing in sticks up because its so short and people make fun at me of it and my Friends try not to be mean and said uhh your hair is sticking up

On January 6th, 2013 Rosmertas said:

I'm even scared to go to the hair salon to get my hair cut because I have like none

On January 6th, 2013 Rosmertas said:

I'm so glad I'm not alone I litterally have 1/5 of the hair I had before I have to make about 7 twists in a hair tie to put my hair in a pony tail and everywhere I go I pick my split ends and there is a pile of hair I swear I will be bald one day and I can't stop

On January 4th, 2013 ADinNY said:

I am 33 years old and have been picking my split ends/pulling out my hair since age 12. It feels horrible and is embarrassing to feel like I have no control and have not been able to stop doing this. My hair picking is the only thing that my husband and I ever fight about, and I am at a loss as to how I can stop. The worst part now is that my 2 year old daughter has seen me do it and imitates me sometimes too. :( I am terrified that one day this habit will ruin my marriage, because I know that my husband is disgusted by it, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to be able to stop. I zone out for hours at a time picking, and have to fight to keep from doing it at work. I even pick in my car. When I was younger I picked my face too, but grew out of it in my 20s. The fact that I have not been able to control myself is just horrible, because I have been able to succeed both academically and professionally, yet feel that I am a slave this awful habit.

On January 3rd, 2013 Clt24 said:

OMG I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE!!!!!!!! I always pick at my hair I have bald spots and everything it's bad i had suicidal thoughts once I love it but hate it to

On January 3rd, 2013 lydialouise said:

yep. im just another split end picker and i absolutely hate it. i am sick of it. but i just cant seem to stop. Even now, as i'm writing this, i have stoped at least two times already just to have a check whether there's one dangling around so i can grab it and either bite it (yes i know! it is ferral!) or snap it or pull the hair out depending on what it looks like -and i hardly made it into the second sentence! any opportunity i get, in the sun light, in front of the white computer screen, in front of the mirror so i can find them from all angles..the list goes on. and if im in a situation where i can't pick in front of someone, ill grab it and make it look like i'm twirling my hair like a normal person, but until i'm out of the way. i just can't seem to help myself. i've been doing it for around about 2 years now, and i just want to stop. my hair is uneven at the back, not to mention that the under layer is signifficantly shorter to the rest of my hair. tying it up doesn't work either. i just end up subconsciously pulling it back out and playing with it. sometimes i analyse and pick my hair for hours! -when im supposed to be doing other things, more important things. this year i am going into year 12, my final year at school. and i want to go well, but i know that i am only disadvantaging myself because of my problem of being distracted all the time. i have cut my hair shorter,even though i am ultimately aiming for healthy long hair...that is my dream anyway. lamely, i sometimes use a showercap when studying and aOMG i wish i would stop.... someone out there has to have a solution! anyone!!!!!!!!!!!! please! i need help! is there a medication????? so glad to know that there are others out there like myself who are in the same boat and need help too

On December 27th, 2012 Phizzy said:

Sorry I didn't mean to post two!

On December 27th, 2012 Phizzy said:

Hi I'm 12 now it's really are for me to stop my hair feels dry frizzy and horrible since I permed it. Even after I have a bath! I don't know whether my hair will grow after i pick it but i still cant stop. i pik in tis one place loads so I kida have a bald patch. My so called friends laugh at me cause I dot have much hair in that place. I only do this when I'm bored or am anxious. I have tried trimming but they are still there! I'm so happy I found out about this blog cause I thought I was all by myself.

On December 27th, 2012 Phizzy said:

On December 11th, 2012 missbiscuit said:

OMG, I can't tell you how much it means to me to see that I'm not the only one battling this! I have tears in my eyes! I hate to sound like I'm throwing myself a pity party, but I just have such limited control over my split end picking. And it's not just the split ends - it gradually evolved over time to breaking off the ends of my hair and I have such uneven hair - I manage to pull it off as layers most of the time but I have one piece in back that's especially embarrassing, I just can't stop picking at it. In the past, getting a haircut has helped at least for a few days, but lately it's actually made things even more painful. I had one today, and I just picked for a while. I'll often insult my hair to the hairdresser - say something along the lines of "I know it looks terrible," and they never disagree with me, and that just makes me hurt more. I should stop doing that. It's so hard, though - hairdressers aren't necessarily trying to be psychologists and I don't blame them. It just makes the problem worse for me, though, at least it has lately. But, it's so nice to know I'm not alone. I've never met anyone else with this problem. Especially not anyone else that it's all-consuming for, like it is for me. Is it trichotillomania? Well, it's miserable, whatever it is. It's not the only nervous habit I have, either. Maybe I'm OCD, although I've never been diagnosed with it. These days, my nervous habits feel like the only thing I have control over. :(

On December 6th, 2012 neebs said:

oh.my.god. i am such a split end addict, literally talking about this gives me a 'folicole boner'. it bugs the shit out of me when my friends tease me and act like im just exaggerating the extent of my addiction. even just typing what i previously typed, ive stopped about 5 times to pick my ends. my mouth starts to water when i think of a 'tree' classified split end, and you sit there and tease yourself with it, before you split the shit out out it, by running your thumb and index finger up and down the hair, feeling every little bump. i battle every day with this and im out of ideas. theres NOTHING. my splits are the most attractive and desiring in front of a computer screen, so it almost IRRESISTABLE,brcause i use bright items like so daily, like my cell phone, the teacher projector, the TV, sunlight, dark colored background (blonde hair so it pops it). its IMPOSSIBLE to avoid all of these everyday life factors. HELP. sadly,i cant rant anymore, im getting too worked up...HELP ME.

On November 24th, 2012 SadieEleanor said:

I started pulling my split ends when I was 11 years old. I had just moved and started a new school with some mean girls. I was standing in the sunlight of my brother's bedroom, and I discovered them. I remember standing there and letting the pieces fall into a planter. I was hooked. That was 44 years ago. For the longest time I was upset because it ruined the look of my hair--I thought that I could perhaps have beautiful long hair if I could stop. Never did. I even kept my hair short for about 15 years, and that is the only extended period that I have ever stopped. I would have said "been able to stop." But, while I am pulling apart the split ends right now, I "believe" that it is much more manageable than before. I don't even have to read that it is an obsessive compulsive disorder. You can read about that, but you can't learn anything about getting rid of it through reading. I guess at 55, I am the oldest and most experienced split end picker on the blog. Here are my thoughts: There are way more people writing in about this than there were 10 years ago. Conduct an experiment. As soon as you feel your hands going towards your hair (scabs, whatever), remember what you were talking about; what person you were thinking about. I guarantee this is caused by nerves. For many years, I "attacked" my hair, as someone just used that term ie: I discovered that rather than waiting for split ends to appear, I could create them by pulling on the hair apart. Also, I had started to "sift" a little harder. Stop all that, and at least limit yourself to the god created splits. They are more interesting anyway. That limit, I think you can do, and is less damaging. Collin Firth (my sister told me) does it and he said that he was attracted to the "feel" of the hair shaft splitting. I think he is right. Believe it that this is a truly psychological problem. We must be more nervous than other people. And I think we definately feel out of control of our time and life time. Maybe we should respect our time and desires very much and do just that. What freedom that would be. We are probably super achievers caught up in a regimented life and world. Our closest achievement is the number of ends we pull. We must take control of our own time to be able to pursue all of the lovely things on our agenda. I also think that there is a possibility that we have very fine lovely hair that is rife for getting split ends. While you are doing it, think about the things you would REALLY rather be doing with your time.

On November 7th, 2012 kelsey said:

It started when I read in a magazine about a girl who picked at her split ends and was sad when she got a haircut. I didn't know what split ends were at the time and made it my goal to find one. I guess things kind of snowballed from there becuase now it's an obsession. I can't barely get through a day without picking at my hair. This is a huge distraction and embarrasment in school especially when I get called out on it. But I can't help it either! I kinda consider myself an expert becuase I recognize t different "types" of split ends, where the the best places for visibility of the hairs(usually brightly lit or sunny areas), or where on my head i should pick at. Creepy right? I've been at it for a while though. I almost wish I had bad vision so I couldn't see those pesky details anyways. I'm not exactly outgoing in the first place but I have no doubts that my...condition...has set me apart socially. It's awful. I hate it. I'm ruining my hair. And I really dont want to deal with this the rest of my life!...and as nice as it is to rant to people who get it, this page hasnt really given me much hope): Please help!

On November 25th, 2012 gypsygirl14 said:

I've often thought that the fact that I have such great vision contributed to my picking. I have read several places that pickers pick at "nonexistant" or "imagined" spots, and that may be true for some, but I have great vision and can see every pore and whether it is clogged or not, and so on. I change focus, from picking at my hair, to my skin, so I don't think I may be damaging any one place as bad a some do, but it is still really embarrasing to look up and see someone saw you picking at yourself. I work hard at my job, which keeps me distracted a lot, but if I have any down time, you can bet I will pick, or I also do it while doing other tasks sometimes, such as sitting at the desk, making a schedule, ect. I think we need a fog horn blown at us every time we reach to pick or something, lol.

On August 9th, 2012 bethdeacker said:

I suggest that you should do regular trimming so that won't face this anymore. kinky locks

On November 24th, 2012 SadieEleanor said:

This ain't about getting a haircut. It is psychological. If you have long hair, or anything to pick, you are gonna pick when you feel anxiety. It's about time, or lack of it, and desire. Many desires, overwhelmed by too little time to achieve them. You can push back that fear and those obligations with a little "time" for contemplation. But the overachiever in you needs to be kept busy in the meantime. Hey, allow yourself not to have to "do" anything. That thought, although impossible, will really get you relaxed and keep your hands down.

On November 25th, 2012 gypsygirl14 said:

Good observation! That makes sense that we are perhaps needing the relief of feeling we have accomplished more, so we have restless fingers.

On July 29th, 2012 Stressed_0403 said:

Hi I'm 16 and I've suddenly started doing it cuz u didn't know what a split end looked like and now it's like a drug and I can't stop. I had really really long dark wavy hair and now it's curly frizzy and shoulder length I also now straighten my hair and it's in such bad shape, I really thought it was only me who did this im so glad I found this blog!! It feels so much better to talk about this, if anyone has found a way to stop this habit PLEASE email me at Sophia.jb@me.com it would mean so much and my hair was beautiful and I don't know how to stop its really getting me down and if anyone wants to talk please email me :) and if anyone knows any good products lemme know :) thanks x

On July 29th, 2012 Stressed_0403 said:

On July 1st, 2012 ELAINE566 said:

crikey me. ive read alot of these comments and i cannot believe it. We dont want to do this do we? i turned 45 yesterday and i have not been doing this all my life. infact only as recent as 18 months or 2 years ago!!! ive had alot of shit to deal with. ive been taking a.dep. for 5 years. when im working i am fine because my hands are busy. and like now typing this i am fine. but at times i do feel quite anxious, so maybe thats why.

On June 7th, 2012 spxc1219 said:

I have recently started doing this, but I thought it was good for my hair becasue It was getting rid of my split ends. But apparently not. I do this in school when I am bored, but i didn't know I could develop bald spots! I have to stop before it gets worse! Thanks so much for making me aware that it could turn out to be something more than just something I do when im bored.

On June 3rd, 2012 bellabella said:

I'm happy I came across this blog. I honestly didn't know a problem like this even existed, I thought it was just me. I started to get this problem at a early age maybe around 5th grade, and I stopped, and then went back to it. I can't see a split end on me, and when I see it on other people it kinda bugs me. I never do it in public, just when I'm alone, but my parents have catch me here and there, and they always tell me the same thing "Stop touching your hair" I do it when I'm nervous, or have anxiety mostly. I hate what I've done to my hair :/ it sucks because my hair could of had potential to have actually looked really nice, but my hair is soo damaged, uneven, and I'm embarrassed to even get my hair cut because ladies who cut my hair always have a comment to say. Like many of you say I can stop for a couple of days , but then I give in. I get sooo mad at myself, I don't want to be older and let this disgusting habit take over my life. I want to stop, and I honestly believe we CAN STOP THIS ! It's mind over matter. Somethings that have helped me stop is getting my nails done, having long nails is much harder to pick at your hair , and of course having your hair up helps as well. I believe that I can stop, and I'm going to try and do whatever it takes, because I don't want to be bald in the long run.

For information on the skin picking disorder (Dermatillomania), symptoms, causes and treatment methods, get the Complete Guide to Skin Picking Disorders.