I destroy my toenails..it hurts

Not sure if i'm in the right place. Not sure if I have the energy to tell it all. But tonight I chose to look up to see if what I have been doing to my toes on and off for years is connected to anything. I see things like depression..anxiety. yes and yes...on and off. more so on lately. But this started in my teens..and I am in my early 40's now. Had a nice pedicure because I spent time back home in CAfor the holidays. Now I'm back to where I live and reality..and the other night I started picking at my toenails. I started with the corners..where I thought it was hurting..like the start of an ingrown..or maybe sock lint in the corner from wearing my tennis shoes so much. So..that began the latest episode..and tonight I just kept going..and now my right big toenail is to the quick and bleeding..fourth toe on left foot bleeding and all of the nails are ripped off (not completely..just the nice filed manicured edges are gone). I immediately feel bad...but it felt painfully good. and yes..I have some stress and anxiety that is and has been goin on right now. As I sit here now, I have my feet soaking in warm water, because I am sure that my Left big toenail needs tending too and I'll just keep going. Embarrasing..toes throbbing..kinda like it. WHY????? this is not normal. Help????