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nomorepickingplease , 04 Mar 2011

Stopping for good this time.

Ok. I can do this. I am not going to do what I usually do and wait until tomorrow to try again - I am stopping NOW. I don't care that I have already picked today. Although I am halfway through the day I am going to make this day 1. I am going to be really strict about not looking at my skin or touching it apart from when I put my makeup on in the morning. This has worked before for a few days, but I've never made it past day 3!!! Wish me luck! I am going to update this every day - join me in doing this if you want to and we can support each other!
117 Answers
AndreaAnonymous
March 24, 2011

In reply to by startexas

Wow, we really are so similar. Trauma definitely fires up the obsession in me. You did the right thing by reaching out. I drew on my mirrors with a black sharpie, and for now am putting other roadblocks up (dim light to apply makeup, super short fingernails, tweezers hidden ) In the beginning we need to protect ourselves ya know? I can relate to the bangs "fix" I once spent a week with my pashmina scarf strategically placed over my brutalized chin, Keep up the good work lady!
AndreaAnonymous
March 24, 2011
This is hard, I have been quite good though, I've gotten a couple of spots but no major damage though. I was getting over an impetigo infection but this morning I noticed a new blister coming up an my left nostril, :( its just sad because i havent really been picking but i guess theres just residual damage from the last time. I'm sticking to my guns though, no excuse to pick. It WILL get better, Love this forum and love you all.
llama06
March 24, 2011
Yeah, so. Haven't been on here for a while. Told myself I didn't need it. And that I was doing fine. Noticed myself starting to slip a bit but said to myself that it was ok coz I was only doing one spot here and there, not loads or all over my face. Which of course means that last night I "fixed" a clogged pore that's been driving me crazy. Was sitting on my sofa feeling for it again and again with my fingers saying don't fix it, don't fix it. Wanted to have a pick free day, so if I could just hold out until tomorrow I could fix it then. But nope. Went and picked that one in the mirror. Then another because I'd already done that one. And then I really dug out a clogged pore because I could feel it under the skin and why the hell not at that point?! Stopped after that but damage is done. I once again have red marks on my face this morning. And do you know what is REALLY bad? It FELT SO GOOD!! :( Just getting all that gunk out of my face felt great. How can something feel so awesome and make me so unhappy at the same time? It's so frustating. I swear this must be how alcoholics feel. To try and stop doing something that makes you feel really good, but you know deep down is very destructive behaviour. Its so so so so so so so so hard. And at this point I don't know what to do, because a fair chunk of my brain at the moment is saying that I don't actually want to give up now. How am I supposed to find the strength to stop doing something I don't want to stop? I'm having a generally bad day anyway (apart from this) so maybe that's contributing to my mood, but I just want to cry right now. Hate this. Lots.
AndreaAnonymous
March 24, 2011

In reply to by llama06

Hello llama06, You know it IS just like alcoholism, I recently got sober (with a lot of ongoing support) I drank and used for 10 years and I can say that the trace like feeling you get before picking and that feeling of knowing it is not a good idea but being powerless to stop yourself...well...its just like the drink. That being said I've been sober for over 7 months so I KNOW that this picking obsession can be overcome, Keep it up and I will too.
nomorepickingplease
March 27, 2011

In reply to by llama06

Hi, how are you feeling now? I know how awful it feels to feel like you've been doing really well and then 'mess up' :( but you have to keep trying! Sometimes I forget why I want to stop too. I have some pores on my face and chest right now which drive me crazy if I let myself think about how good it would feel to squeeze them. Try to remember that it is a lie - you will NOT feel good if you give up trying to stop. It will be a relief for a while but then you will have to spend the rest of your life dealing with the shame of having to hide your face, of keeping secrets from everyone and also wasting so much of your precious time looking at something so insignificant as your face. What are the thins you care about? What is important to you? Think about the extra hours you have to devote to what you really love every day you don't pick. The days you spent pick free have not been wasted just because you messed up one day. Each day you spend pick free you are choosing not to waste hours of your time. Plus, you are practising for when you finally manage to give up for good! Try try try to stay positive - there are other people like you in the world and we all know how difficult this is for you, but you must never never never stop trying to change for the better. Think of something you would like to do tomorrow for an hour. If you manage a day pick free then give yourself that hour you saved to do whatever you want! It can feel like all you want to do is pick but that is not true. Remember how much pain it has caused you over the years. We must keep fighting to be free of that. And every day you don't pick, you ARE free of it. Keep going please don't give up. If you give up I will lose hope for myself!!
nomorepickingplease
March 27, 2011

In reply to by nomorepickingplease

by the way when I say your face is insignificant I realise that sounds odd. But really... it is! There are so many good things in life and actually you don't have to have perfect skin to have a good life! I have spent years obsessing over my skin but actually, I don't care if I am ugly any more. Truth is, most people don't see me as ugly anyway. We can be our own harshest critics sometimes, especially when it comes to our skin! No one else sees the problem! So even if you feel ugly, or like your skin is hideous.... who cares!? It isn't true, but even if it were true being ugly doesn't matter all that much anyway. Maybe think of some unattractive people you know. I do that sometimes or I think of friends I have with bad acne... they just get on with it! And I don't care for them any less because of what they look like. It sounds corny but... it's the inside that counts. Remember - it is only your skin.
nomorepickingplease
March 27, 2011
hi everybody! Went away for five days and couldn't really pick for longer than 10 mins because I was always with my friend. On the last day I managed a whole day pick free and have tried to carry it on as long as possible. Today is DAY THREE!!!! This is a huge moment for me because my record number of days in the past 8 years is three days... if I make it to tomorrow then I WILL HAVE BROKEN MY RECORD!!!!!! I really want to make it. I have not been too tempted so far, I think partly because my skin was already looking better after 5 days away with minimal picking. I have been praying about it a lot which I would recommend to all of you! I wish you all the best of luck. Just remember - NEVER GIVE UP.
sho1234
March 27, 2011
Nomorepickingplease-yes and yes to that post! Very very true. Its good to hear what people have learnt,what they r learning and wisdom gained from this experience. Exactly the sort of stuff ive been thinking through and over. X
AndreaAnonymous
March 29, 2011
Hello Friends, Blah, I haven't been posting for the last few days, I had a pretty bad setback, the problem is I also seem to have developed acne (!!!!aaaggh) my doctor says it is still my body detoxing, as I quit drinking and drugs(cocaine, oxys, Valium, meth whatever) so when i have a zit with a whitehead (i have a few... yucky) I CANT just leave it alone. I started using proactiv for that and am still trying my best not to pick unless it is ready to be picked. Much Love
llama06
March 31, 2011

In reply to by AndreaAnonymous

Christ, you don't do things by halves do you! I'm struggling to break one habit/addiction whereas you've given up a whole load of massively hard ones in one go!! That's incredible. I think you're very brave. And sounds like your doctor is right. It makes sense that your body is going to be trying to clear all the poisons out of your body for a while. Try and think of it as a positive. Everytime you have a whitehead, it's one step nearer to your body being clean and healthy. :) Stay strong
nomorepickingplease
March 29, 2011
Back to day 1! Day four was a disaster but am still feeling positive because I managed to beat my 3 day record! Anyway, wish me luck for day 1 and good luck to all of you x
llama06
March 31, 2011

In reply to by nomorepickingplease

That's amazing!!! You must be so so proud of yourself. Prove to yourself its not a one off and you can do it again. I went a bit off track for a while. Not horrendous but realised that I couldn't go to work without make up so not great. Just got into a bad habit of allowing myself one or two a day and telling myself it didn't matter. It adds up though!! Ack. But yesterday I had a blocked pore on my chin that was driving me crazy. And the more I touched it, the more it got irritated and got bigger, which made it worse. SO SO wanted to fix it, but didn't. And stopped myself from picking this morning as well. So hopefully I'm going to get back on track. God its hard though! Feels like i've been trying to stop this forever now, when in fact its only about 3-4 weeks. Lol. But its the first of the month tomorrow. Maybe i'll try and do 1 whole month with ABSOLUTELY no picking of my face. Apparently that's how long it takes to break a habit, so maybe that will do it. And i'll have to watch myself coz when I completely stopped last time, i started picking at my chest instead! Naughty fingers!!!
anggoespublic
April 02, 2011
anyone here live in nyc? for a support group.. or for people who are tired of hiding alone in their apartment after a relapse?
nomorepickingplease
April 03, 2011
so it is now a month since I created this thread, and I am still no where near stopped! But I have made some progress over the past month, including beating my 3 day record and making it to day 4... so good and bad. Am starting from day 1 again tomorrow, trying to use what I have learnt over the past month to beat my record again! Will try to make a whole week.

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