Hijacking the Forum - My Progress Report


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June 27, 2012

Feeling ashamed, embarrassed and full of self hate. A severe picking episode last night left me looking like I was suffering from a disease of some sort today. The wounds were so bad that no amount of make up could possibly hide them. Things can only get better from this point onwards. On a positive note, I didn't add to the damage too much today. So while yesterday's efforts earned me a score of 2/10, I'm giving myself 5/10 for today. Day 1 - 2/10 Day 2 - 5/10
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June 28, 2012

Day 3 - Much better than the last two days. Need to stay strong. Day 3 - 7/10
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June 29, 2012

Day 4 - face is beginning to heal but I've shifted my focus to other parts of my body. While I'm not so bothered by how these other parts look, I'm not really overcoming my urges if I'm just directing them elsewhere. 7/10
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June 30, 2012

Day 5 - much better. Enjoying looking more presentable. 9/10
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July 01, 2012

Good. Didn't spend any time in front of a mirror today.9/10
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July 02, 2012

Perfect score - 10/10 :) Now the aim is 10 consecutive days at 10/10. Nine to go!
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July 03, 2012

This is a great idea to make a progress report and set attainable goals for yourself. Keep up the good work!
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July 04, 2012

Thanks green machine! I have found it to be more helpful than medication and counselling. Wishing you all the best :)
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July 04, 2012

Day 8 - setback - 4/10
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July 04, 2012

Day 9 - better - 9/10
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July 05, 2012

Day 10 - was going well, then I let myself down tonight. 6/10
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July 06, 2012

Day 11 - Bad. Very bad. I'm getting a bit sick of being me. 2/10
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July 07, 2012

Day 12 - Could've been better. In a bit of a vicious cycle now... Wearing lots of make up to cover blemishes... Make up causes more imperfections to appear... Imperfections increase the urge. Tomorrow this cycle will end. I will be good to my skin and let it do its job of healing. I need to put a stop to this right now. I don't want my son growing up seeing me do this to myself. 6/10
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July 08, 2012

Day 13 - okay. Heading in the right direction. 6/10
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July 09, 2012

Day 14 - hmmm... I guess it could've been worse. Struggling to get on top of this. But I won't give up. 4/10
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July 10, 2012

Day 15 - Nothing good to report. Losing the battle. 4/10
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July 10, 2012

never say you are losing. you cant lose. the most important thing that anyone who picks needs to remember is to do everything you possibly possibly can to keep your head above water emotionally. you have to be optimistic and pick yourself back up after a session ! no matter how bad it was.. i know sometimes you cant help but to feel so desperate and hopeless but you have to think forward, and get excited about your healing ! because your body is a healing machine and it will start to get sooo much better, quicker than you can imagine when you finally overcome your habit and let it ! do things that make you feel good and make a list of reasons why you HAVE to stop picking ! keep your chin up and try to smile, even if you are sad, youve gotta fake it till you make it. optimism is the strongest weapon we have in the battle against picking.
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July 11, 2012

Sarah, I feel so grateful that you took the time to offer me some advice and support. Such great advice too! I've already made a list of reasons why I shouldn't pick, and things that make me happy. I guess I'm going through a bit of a bad patch at the moment, but your kind words have given me the lift that I needed. I saw that you had a good day yesterday. I'm so happy for you. Keep going strong. Your positivity is inspiring.
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July 12, 2012

it made my heart smile to read this (: (: (: the best thing about this forum is that even if i had a bad day, i can come on here and read about other peoples good days and i dont know why, but it makes me feel a million times better ! i really really hope that you start having some more good days and that you stay positive !!!!
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July 12, 2012

I feel the same way. It's so nice to have the support of other people who are going through the same thing. I've had a perfect day so far and I'm determined to make it through the whole day! Wishing you all the best too - I'll keep an eye on how you're going :)
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July 11, 2012

Day 16 - today is over. I start with a score of 10 tomorrow. And if I'm still on a score of 10 by the end of the day, I'll look better and I'll feel better. 3/10 for today.
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July 12, 2012

Day 17 - Ten :) yep - 10. It wasn't easy, but I got there. I'll feel really proud if I can score a ten again tomorrow. And I reckon I can.
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July 12, 2012

yay ! im so so so proud of you and happy (: (: (: this is so exciting to me ! you absolutely CAN ! i have been doing well too (:
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July 14, 2012

Thanks Sarah :) Glad to hear you've been doing well too.
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July 14, 2012

Day 18 - 9/10. I'm very happy with that. Instead of staying at home, I'm out and about. I want to keep this good feeling going. It changes everything in my life.
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July 14, 2012

Day 19 - another 9. I'm a better person when I feel happy with myself. I'm nicer to others, more confident and outgoing, and just more pleasant to be around. The rewards are so great when just the smallest amount of success is achieved in this battle. It's time for me to put an end to picking - once and for all. I don't need to do it. It doesn't bring anything good into my life.
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July 14, 2012

IM SO PROUD OF YOU !!!! (: (: (: (: (: (: please please please do all you can to keep it up ! your success helps me to succeed. i completely relate to being more friendly and pleasant when im feeling good about myself cause i havent picked for a while. i think im also prettier when im happy and smiling and laughing and i bet you are too ! you dont need to do pick at all, its a million times better to not pick than TO pick. i try to remind myself of that everytime im having a trouble. im so excited and happy for us today (: we are going to win
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July 15, 2012

Thanks Sarah :) glad to hear you had a good night. I'm trying to learn to be happy on my own, and I know that putting a stop to this habit will help with that. Enjoy looking pretty for all the events you've got coming up! Yes, we are going to win! Without a doubt :)
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July 15, 2012

Day 20 - 9/10. Even good skin doesn't guarantee happiness. But it helps. I'm on a roll and I want to keep it going.
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July 15, 2012

so excited for you (: (: i know what you mean though, sometimes i get scared when i think about being seriously done with picking and having the smooth skin( even though it will never be perfect, because of scarring ) i want so desperately because i just wonder what will be my next big insecurity or struggle. but i have got to stop thinking like that ! there is no physical thing in this world that guarantees happiness ! i promise that the only things that will make you happy is having a positive outlook and seeing past the little imperfect details that life throws at you.
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July 16, 2012

Yeah, I think you're right. I always think that if I get my skin looking good, everything will be perfect. I guess that's because when my skin is bad, it's so consuming. Someone wrote on this forum that they think we pick to escape things... To switch off mentally for a while. I wonder if that's true - cos if it is, stopping the habit might mean we need to find other ways to "switch off".
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July 16, 2012

i KNOW thats true for me. picking is like.. meditative to me. i go into some kind of trance and just forget about everything. it has become more and more consious lately, but i still do it. i realize that i pick more when i am feeling upset or lonely, but over the last year or so, i noticed that when im having bad feelings and am around other people or in some situation where i absolutely cant mess up my makeup or be bleeding all over my face, i do other things with my hands. generally, other destructive things. i have found myself tearing up paper into tiny little pieces over and over again, or picking paint off of something ( i sometimes do my fingernails just so i can pick off the polish ). those things also help me escape i think, but for some reason, i cant replace picking !
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July 16, 2012

Day 21 - 10/10. Good on me.
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July 16, 2012

YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
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July 17, 2012

Day 22 - today was harder, but I got there. 10/10
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July 17, 2012

im having a hard day too ! i picked at 2 spots but then walked away. i think that takes a lot of strength so im trying to be happy with myself, but im still feeling guilty. we can do this though.. we are gonna get through it (: (: (: it makes me so proud that you are doing so well.
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July 18, 2012

Walking away is such a hard thing to do. You should be very proud of yourself for doing that. Stay positive and strong :)
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July 19, 2012

awe ): not bad, but not perfect. you should write more about how you are feeling when you relapse.. and when you have a good day ! sometimes is can help to put the pieces together of why you even pick at all !
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July 21, 2012

Yes, you're right. When I'm feeling a bit down, I tend not to talk much. But I'll try. Glad you enjoyed your yoga :)
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July 21, 2012

Day 25 - 7/10. I've had a bit of a breakout and I'm trying hard to cope with it. Not being too hard on myself because I feel like its unfair that my skin is like this. It doesn't make things any easier for someone like me!
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July 21, 2012

i just had a serious relapse. this is so hard for me lately, and i feel for you. i breakout too, mostly because of my picking and it is like the hardest thing ever to leave it alone. for some reason, when i have a zit or whitehead i just focus and dwell on it and i cant feel clean until i get it. it seriously sucks. im trying not to hate myself. i really hope you feel better ): you shouldnt be hard on yourself, most people dont deal with this kind of struggle on a daily basis, we do, and we get through it somehow.
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July 22, 2012

I'm sorry to hear that Sarah. I hate when we're being strong and then our skin makes things so much harder for us. I know what you mean about dwelling on them. If they sting, I find it really hard to ignore them. Be proud of what you have achieved in the past. Allow your skin to heal itself now. It's what it does best. Be kind to yourself. Focus on the great things about yourself. People see so much more than just your skin. I know we can both get through this.
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July 21, 2012

Day 26 - 10/10. I didn't have a single free minute today. On the go all day. Skin is healing once again. I feel a streak of tens coming up :) if I can manage to get a whole week of tens, I'm going to buy myself a new top or something.
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July 22, 2012

glad to hear ! i had a bad day but your good day brightened it up ! i think its good to reward ourselves when we accomplish a goal (: this is hard stuff, and we deserve a nice break every once in a while (:
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July 22, 2012

Thanks Sarah. You will have a better day tomorrow and you will feel really proud :)
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July 22, 2012

Day 27 - 8/10. Not terrible, but I was a bit weak with fighting the urges. Need to regain my strength.
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July 23, 2012

Day 28 - 10. Some days are just easier. Some days I just don't really have the compulsions. I wish it was the case everyday.
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July 23, 2012

good job ! im so proud. and i totally feel you. somedays my face is all i can think about, i get so anxious that i feel like i HAVE to pick to be able to move on with my life. we are going to get through it though..

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