HELP ME PLEASE

I wonder if you do anything, any kind of practice, that focuses your awareness on the present moment? If you do, this would be a gateway. Have you been sharing with your Mom, and now feel you cannot? Help is abundant. I'd love to hear a bit more about what's going on for you. Warmly, Julie

Fourteen. Good for you. It’s hard at fourteen to try to do something about this and not just bury it away. What Julie means is have you tried doing something that takes all of your focus? Most martial arts programs or exercise take concentration and that helps take your mind off picking. For me, when I embroider, I can’t go after my skin because my hands are full. As for how to tell your mother, I’d say a lot of us don’t know. I certainly wasn’t aware enough at your age to know that I needed to do something about it. If you’ve got a good relationship with your mom, I’d say “grit your teeth, grab your butt, and go” to quote my dad. If you’re afraid she might blow it off, maybe the thing to do is to ask her to make a doctor’s appointment and then talk to your doctor about it. As for your friend Melanie, I wouldn’t bring it up with her at all anymore. When someone dismisses your problems as nothing, anything else you say will just make them feel like you’re looking for pity or sympathy and makes them think even MORE that there’s nothing wrong. But it’s a sad and true fact of life that most of the people you come across are just going to say “well, just stop”. Really? Really? Like I didn’t think of that myself? Gee whiz, Einstein: thanks for the advice. I’ll tell you right now, it was easier for me to quit smoking that to quit picking. So…. Find something to do that takes your mind and/or hands off of picking. You know your mom better than us, so think back on how you’ve told her things in the past and decide how you want to handle it. Know that there are other people who are in the same boat who won’t say “ oh, it’s nothing”.