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So I am just like everyone here. Compulsive. Obsessive. Self Destructing. And so tired of the roller coaster of emotions that comes with skin picking. Im sure you understand. I look at my friends, and they are living these incredible lives. I see these pictures of them living life to the fullest and I feel horrible, because Ive always let picking allow me to disengaged, not participate, when its really bad, completely isolate. I have this feeling of who I truly am, and the life I want to live, yet there is mental obsession, and self destruction in my way. I feel like I have to wear make up (I don't want to anymore! It feels horrible), and since I have to wear makeup exercising feels awful because Im paranoid about my skin showing and pores getting clogged. I cant wear clothes I want to wear due to scabs and scars in places most people would never have them! I dont like being in direct sunlight. I dont like pictures taken of me. I constantly feel like I am not good enough for the people in my life...... So my question to everyone is: what are you afraid of? WHyy would I pick during the worst and most inconvenient times? Instead of living the life I want, I feel trapped inside this insanity. I know this is a tough question, but I really would love to hear about what you think you are avoiding. Because I cannot understand why I keep doing this to myself. I cant understand what could be SO frightening that I would rather self destruct for a decade, than face whatever it is. Please give any experience, strength, and hope, and most of all honesty. I need some clarity.