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sia , 02 Aug 2016

nosepicking

I have bouts of nose picking. Does anyone else? A source and product of much anxiety!

13 Answers
Sgirlfab
August 04, 2016

I do. I have done it my whole life. In the last year it got really bad and I managed to pick a hole through my septum. Yes. It is a source of a lot of shame and anxiety for me as well. But this seems to have escalated right along with my skin picking. Do you pick your skin as well?

sia
August 05, 2016

I have a button in my nose inserted in the 90's, as the doc discovered a hole in my septum when I complained of a lot of dryness there. I had not come out about my habit and didn't know why I had the hole. I've done it my whole life, but only admitted to it in 2010. A closet nose picker! Those closest to me might have just known I did it a bit. Yes... shame and anxiety, and my nose is now getting bigger, as mine is escalating too. Not a big problem with skin picking though. But my nails are getting soft and I have to trim them really short. Who do you tell? I told my husband after we were married .... first person to take it seriously.

Sgirlfab
August 05, 2016

I haven't told anyone. Not a soul. I dread the day that I need to see a doctor about something like a sinus infection and they discover my secret. It's a lot to hold in. My comment on your post is the first time I've ever admitted to it to anyone else. Gotta love the anonymity of the internet!

sia
August 06, 2016

Most people do do it a bit, and there seem to be lots on the internet who do it a lot. I found that comforting. I told my husband in 2010 nine years after our marriage, that I was making my nose bleed and couldn't help it. Before that he just knew I did it a bit, and he was surprised as it seemed out of character to him. He got me to tell my counsellor in 2010 - which I started off doing by email. People don't take it seriously at first. My counsellor tried to hypnotise me out of it and he only made it worse! My counsellor encouraged me to tell my psychiatrist, which I eventually did, but I don't think he knows yet how serious the situation is. Neither of them know about my septum. I plan to tell my shrink a bit more next week when I see him, because you can give yourself a brain infection, and I feel ready to bring the subject up again now. Starting is the scariest bit. But when you can call it a self harming activity or a nervous habit you can lead into it slowly and prepare them for it. My husband occasionally picks his nose, but he is not a compulsive nose picker. I am on here because I want to talk to others who do it - it makes me feel so disgusting and I am always doing it when I am alone, or even in front of my husband, now. I am 65 and I remember getting harassed by my mother for doing it at the age of four. I couldn't help it, so I just went underground. But most people seem to have something they would like to hide, and healing comes from being able to be more open, and accepting yourself. Then you can work on it with the right person. Well that's what I think anyway.

sia
August 06, 2016

You are the first person I have ever contacted who has the same problem. It helps.

Sgirlfab
August 06, 2016

In reply to by sia

Yes, like I said, I feel better having "confessed" to someone out there. Perhaps putting it out there like this is the first step to telling someone who can help. I too did this even as a child. And yes, my mother got on me about it and so I just did it when I was alone. I have always known that I did this more than the typical person. I always knew I knew it was something I was ashamed of at a very early age. I used to wait all day to get home from school to go into the bathroom and get in there. Lol. Around 2 years ago I noticed dry patches of skin in my nose. And as I seem to have a huge problem with that anywhere on my body I began to peel away at it. That turned into scabs and I picked those. I didn't realize I had the hole until one night, I woke in the middle of the night to pick ( which I often do) and for some unknown reason, I put a finger into each nostril and felt my finger on the other side. I was so freaked out that I got up and couldn't go back to sleep. Of course this discovery didn't stop me and I continued to pick at the scabs around the hole and now it's quite big. I fear that my nasal structure is going to collapse and yet I still can't stop. The scabbing is very uncomfortable and I don't have any idea how I would be able to just leave that alone long enough for the scabbing to heal, especially when I am half asleep doing it sometimes. I did tell my live in boyfriend that I have a hole in my septum but I told him I did it when I was little. God, it really feels good to get this out there.

sia
August 07, 2016

When you feel up to it it would be a good idea to see a doctor and get a button put in on each side of the septum and covering the hole. What I discovered was that, apart from stopping my nose from being so dry(and I was a smoker then), it protects the septum from further damage.
This is not a healthy "habit" and I believe it is caused by an emotional disorder. I read that it can be caused by anger. I have a lot of bottled up anger towards my best friend which I have been emailing her about in the last week or so - trying to be kind at the same time too. But I also have deeper anger which I harbour towards my mother(now dead), and that, I think, goes back to before I was four, and includes my father as well. I have a new female counsellor in her 70's that I really like, and we are working on my anger towards these people. I could never answer back to my parents, but my best friend is prepared to discuss our differences. I am lucky, as I don't feel adequate as a woman and don't have many woman friends.

sia
August 07, 2016

When I was hypnotised, I stopped for a while, then I woke during the night and picked my nose furiously. I was not cured, it just got all dammed up inside me. A lot of social anxiety has gone for me, in terms of talking about nose picking, but I mainly do it at home still. But I am now concerned about telling my psychiatrist because I am starting to worry about damage, and my nose is getting bigger as I stick my fingers in as I have no fingernails. Lots of men do it I think, but it is not socially acceptable for a woman! Lol.

Sgirlfab
August 07, 2016

I e read up on buttons. I think my hole would be considered too big. I would likely need surgery to repair it. And I just imaging all the scabbing from that and know that I would destroy it. I think I need to get a handle on all my picking before I do anything. I agree that it's likely pent up anger. I am one of those people who never really gets angry. I get upset and cry, yes. But I don't yell or anything like that. I no longer have a therapist as I got a new job 2 years ago and the therapist I had for 3 years does not take my insurance. Plus I work the M-F 9-5 and the therapists I have called from my ibsurance list don't do late or weekend hours. I also have issues with not feeling like a "good" woman. I don't have many female friends either. Never have. I am at a point in my life where I have grown apart from all my long time friends and I have no idea how to make new friends. I mean, how does one make new friends when they're 38? I have looked into classes or something to meet people but have not taken the plunge. You are very lucky that you have a friend that understands your need to talk about those things.
I thought about hypnosis as well. I know people who have used it for weight loss and quitting smoking and they have had mixed results. Are you doing the program from this website? I am seriously considering it but want to hear from someone who's actually done it.

Sandy
September 03, 2016

In reply to by Sgirlfab

You can make friends at any age, my husband and myself have lived in several countries over the last 17 years, each time we moved I managed to meet people and make new friends, it's actually all up to you. The best way to make friends is through a hobby, so you meet people that share a common interest. You may meet someone that you really click with and there you have it, an opportunity to make a friend.
I show horses and I've met most of my friends through being at the stables.
Having therapy is good but it can take years to get to the bottom of deeply seated issues, ( as you know after 3 years of seeing someone) I really think you need to get medical attention now before something serious happens to your nose. Perhaps after surgury you will realize how serious this is and leave your nose alone.
Maybe the course offers a money back guarantee if you feel that it's not for you.
Best of luck, sorry to be blunt but you seem to use excuses to not do anything, not trying to be mean, just honest in this very honest message board

sia
August 08, 2016

My button is now falling to pieces and I think I need to have another one inserted, so I'll have to do something about it. I have just enrolled for the program and I have so far just had a preview of what the 8 sessions are about. I am glad I enrolled - I think it is worth it. If you enrolled we could compare notes and motivate each other. It only deals with behaviour I think, using CBT, and I plan to do it in conjunction with my counsellor. You are lucky to be able to work, I had to retire in 1990 because of psych. problems .... but I'm recovering and I intend to work again.

Sgirlfab
August 09, 2016

I am still a little ways off from taking the plunge and enrolling. I have to work out spending the $$$. I didn't realize the buttons deteriorate. What are they made of?

sia
September 03, 2016

Sandy you are blunt and mean to pass judgement and preach at someone so quickly when you know so little about them. If you have not suffered any of these problems what would you know? And what are you doing on this site anyway? Perhaps you would be better off minding your own business, or at least apologising to those less fortunate. This is no place for the self-righteous, it is for those who want help and want to help each other.

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