trying hard not to make things worse

Hi everyone! I am a face picker who has drastically reduced picking for at least two years. My face has been looking so much better. Finally got rid of scars left by constant picking with treatments using glygolic acid and laser. Last year brown patches on my forehead appeared and the compulsion to pick started to come back. Everything i consider a defect on my face makes me want to pick. I therefore grew my fringe so as not to see these brown patches on my forehead and i managed to ward off the urge. .In the meantime i had some treatments done to try and fade the patches with laser. Last treatment I had the dermatologist, seeing a few broken capillaries on my cheeks decided to remove these too. Unfortunately, i reacted badly and seeing that the small crusts where not going away after a few days i began to pick. Once started that was it I just carried on.. i made the situation worse using a cortisone cream and am now left with a red patch on my cheek with more broken capillaries and with a deep hole where I picked the scabs. I've now covered it with a plaster to try and stop me picking at it further. No one knows about this habit not even my husband. You can't imagine all the lies i tell to justify my wounds. This time I made up i got an aggressive herpes that left these signs on my cheek. I have taken two days off work because i dont want to "face" my colleagues like this. As if two days is going to make a difference. Tomorrow i will ring the dermatologist in tears and hope that he can fix to some extent my damage. I wish i could stop I feel so bad inside and angry with myself for doing this to myself. I feel so ugly and worthless. I just want to shut myself indoors and hide. Please help. Thanks for listening.