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jessy , 03 Dec 2007

cant stop picking my face

hi everyone, i'm totally hopeless. i have this problem that i'm picking on the pimples and the dark spots on my face and its stronger than me. i just have to do it i dont know what to do. my face looks like a car wreck and as soon as it gets any better i start all over again. i dont understand anything anymore.
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wassomeoneelse
January 04, 2009
I totally know what you are going through. You confession has made me feel a little better knowing others are experiencing this unexplainable habit..and to know that i'm not alone. I have been going through the exact same process as you, and no matter how many times i convince myself to stop the picking, i seem to restart the cycle all over again--wihout me even realising i'm doing it. And its really ruining my life and self-esteem. I feel i'm withdrawing from society. And just can't bring myself to stop it. It taking me over. And i'm considering dropping out of university just because I feel I can't concentrate on the work and be in the close presence of others because i can't bear the thought at others looking at my scabby face...although i cover the scabs/spots up rather well with concelor everyday, it doesn't seem to be solving the problem. I just go home and pick the scabs and find new pimples on the face to pick which then again form into unsightly scabs and the process starts all over again. And afterwards i just feel truely terrible. But at the time I don't seem to think what i'm doing is bad...well i do...but i just can't stop myself once i've started. One successful picking of a pimple just leads to finding another one to squeeze. It just gives me a feeling of satisfaction. And I can be doing it for up to 2 to 3 hours at a time...finding other spots and pimples to pick on the body. And i don't have an acne problem. It's just little pimples on my face/body that i feel need to be picked(but don't really) but it ends up getting out of control. And just feel unable to face anyone when i look at the red sore mess on my skin after i have picked at it. I just say to myself..'why did i just do that..when i said i wouldn't?' It's destroying me and I feel the problem has become worse in the past few months..especially since starting university ... although i think i began when i started secondary school --around age 13/14. I feel i purposely distance myself from my uni friends and others and i don't get close to my friends just because of the unattractive scabs on my face that i just let heal...i'm scared what they might be thinking. And I know deep down if i just let the scabs heal and left new little un-noticibable pimples alone...than my skin would look so much better and i wouldn't have to hide away from others and have to plaster my face in concelor everyday when i know i have to be out in public...I just need to stop this.It's really getting me down and preventing me from living life to the full and letting others see my full potential just because of this obsessive picking that seems just so unnecessary. I'm a 19 year old female, from Wales in the UK.
Sotiredofit
January 11, 2009
I too have this major obsession with skin picking my face my whole body basically and I want to stop so bad BUT I JUST CAN'T It drains me and prevents me from doing many social things I go to work everyday but think everyone that looks at me thinks I'm the ugliest person alive, and to be honest not concited I believe I was attractive but now it has just desroyed my self esteem, It runs my life and I'm so sick of it !!!!! but I am a tiny bit relieved that their are others with this disorder or obsession. What are we gonna do somebody help This is a daily occurence for about 3 years now everyday I tell myself that this is my last day of doing it but sure enough I do it again and again IT DRIVES ME CRAZY 27 year old female Although through the very minimal research i've done majority of people who have this compulsion are female I'd love to meet some of you only because I'd like to stare it right in the face to see what I actually look like cause you know how when you have makeup on or you just live with it everyday you sorta become blind to the truth (until you have no makeup on and stare yourself in the mirror) I hate it I hate it so much I'm almost crying just typing this. We should have some meeting it would feel so good to see other people cause I have never met anyone with my problem
luckyla1024
January 11, 2009
I would like to invite all of you to visit my blog, www.livejournal.com/cult_of_one I'm a 24 year old female, and I've been suffering with CSP for most of my life. I used to pick at my face, arms, hands, shoulders, chest, legs...anything within reach. I've been working on getting better for a while now, and I decided to start a blog because I want others to be able to learn from my story. I used to think recovery was impossible, but through therapy and other methods, I'm getting better. I'll be documenting my journey and posting about what kinds of things I find helpful, from techniques to prevent picking in the short term, to therapy techniques that work, to book reviews and experiences. I hope the information will be helpful. You can leave comments or ask questions, please feel free to stop by!
stephy12
January 11, 2009
I have had ocd symptoms since I was 8 and I'm now 19. I have had an obsession with my face for a long time. I can stand in the mirror for hours. My skin isn't bad, but I somehow see any imperfection and make it worse by picking at it. When my skin gets better, I just do it again and again. My parents get angry and want me to just stop, but I can't. They tell me to sit on my hands when I get the urge, but it doesn't work. I tell myself all the time, its the last time, but the next day I'm at it again. I have no control over it and I don't know why I do it. I just discovered this site today and found out that there are others out there as well with this problem. I've been so embarrassed and thought I was all alone.
Ropp724
January 14, 2009
Hello everyone...I am a 24 year old female who is currently dealing with this terrible disorder...I feel for everyone on this site...I know how horrible it feels to pick at your skin, but remain unable to stop...I did manage to make it through college and get a degree and work many jobs, but it has been a long, rough road to get to where I am...I know what it feels like to pick at your face and not want to leave the house...but I just try to force myself to do it...My father has severe OCD, and I also grew up in a very turbulent environment, (he was an alcoholic)...I believe that these two factors contributed to my disorder...it started when I was about 13 years old, and though I've learned to control it a little, it always flares up with stress...I have been to numerous psychiatriasts and been on many different medications with no complete success...I wish everyone on here the best of luck! and it is nice to know you are not alone...if anyone would like to talk sometime about having this disorder, feel free to contact me...I am always interested in meeting new friends, especially someone that has this in common with me...my sn is Ropp724 on aim and I am online pretty often...this is also my email at aol.com...hope to hear from you soon... -Laurie-
jenhair22
March 08, 2009
I just came across this site. I am know 35 and have been doing this at least 10 years and is getting worse. I have been diagnosed with OCD as a teenager, but not due to picking. I am so paranoid that people think I'm using drugs due to my huge sores. I find myself going to work, coming home and that is it. To do anything other than that just isn't possible, either because I'm so ashamed of my skin or I'm to busy focusing on picking. I have thought all this time it was a horrible case of acne, but I know I make it horrible. It is so very painful and as I pick and there is so much blood, no matter how hard i try to stop I am determined to get whatever is in there out!... After of hours of picking, pain, bleeding, with no results, except tired arms and being very depressed and swollen all over my face. Then I definitely don't want to see anybody. I have people always saying what is wrong with your face you used to have perfect skin? That for some reason makes me upset and will set me right back in front of a mirror. Do any of you have to stop doing important things just to go home and pick? My boyfriend will always say stop that your just making it worse! Well duh, I think to myself if you would just shut up I would stop, but know I have to do it more. Oh my gosh I can't live with the physical pain that I am doing. I don't even know if I want to live anymore due to the isolation. Anybody have any words for me please, please, please help me. morganthein@aol.com.
thatonegirl
March 14, 2009
i'm only in high school but i've stopped doing things that i love because of this. i can't bring myself to tell anybody about it so i do all i can to hide it. in order to do that, i've given up so much and i've passed on oppurtunities that i may never have again because there would be the risk of someone seeing what i can't help doing to myself. sometimes, i can't even make it home, i just start scratching and picking as soon as i get in the car. i don't know if any input from a high schooler affects anything at all and i can't really speak for everyone else but i know that i feel a little better knowing that therer ARE people like me who go through the same things i do. it helps knowing i'm not alone.
Melissa
March 11, 2009
I am dealing with these same issues. My parents constantly tell me to "just stop." They have taken lightbulbs out of my bathroom to try to get me to stop, but I just take other lightbulbs and put them in so that I have light. They also try to make me spend time with them more so that I won't pick, but I just pick when they aren't home. I sit in front of the mirror for hours and pick at any small blemish. I do not have acne, just blackheads which drive me crazy even though no one else can see them. I have been doing this for 2 years now and I am 21 years old now. I want to stop really bad, but once I am able to stop for a few days I go right back and pick again. I have stopped socializing all together- I stay home, skip class, sleep a lot. I would love to talk to somebody who is going through the same thing, I have been reading many of your posts and I seriously thought I was the only one with this problem. Plz email me at label_me_lucky@hotmail.com I just want to know how to stop so that I can live my life to the fullest and be the happy girl I used to be. Thanks.
Jessie
March 18, 2009
I can relate to your situation almost exactly. I am also 21 and have been picking my face for 2 yrs. My face is polluted with blackheads and maybe one or two pimples every now and then. My mother especially is always telling me to just leave my face alone, don't look in the mirror, there's nothing wrong with my face and that it's beautiful and I'm the only one that sees imperfections. I think that that she is the wrong one. I can't look into a mirror without winding up in front of it for hours obsessing over everything that I hate, picking at every single blackhead I can find. Its so frustrating!!!!!!! I notice that I pick mostly when I am stressed, or having a bad day - specifically those days when I struggle with my appearance. It's ironic because picking actually makes my skin look worse, but I somehow feel better, relieved in a sense. I have picked and pulled and dug at my face so much that I now have fine lines everywhere, which gives me another thing to be upset about, and another reason why I feel like picking. Has anyone else done this to their skin? It's like a never ending circle, and I always feel self -conscious when in public - like people think I look disgusting. I thought I was the only person who did this and no one could ever understand. I am glad I found this site and will hopefully find some advice on how to stop this annoying habit because it is ruing my life. The best thing I have found to help so far is to seriously just not look, and when I feel the urge, to just take a deep breath and quickly find something to distract my hands.
pickAddict
March 31, 2009
(Jessie) .... I'm exactly like you! I'm 21 also, going to be 22 this year though. Only difference between us is, I've been picking my face since I started getting spots, which was at the age of 15 and my face is terribly scarred now. It doesn't look as bad as it used to be when I was at school, but I still look at my face and feel depressed most times. I actually just came out of the bathroom now from picking my face, I was bored and just gradually started looking in the mirror to see if i could get rid of any black heads or small white heads and now my face just looks red all over. I try to do this thing where I set a date on my calendar to see if I can stop picking my face for a month and if do stop throughout the whole month I treat myself to some shoes, but this has only ever happened once. I still can't stop picking and I don't know why. I do feel relieved when I pick my face, but then when I see my face looking red and disgustingly blotchy I feel upset and I try and make myself feel better by covering up where I've picked my face with face mask. It's very silly. My mum says that my face isn't even bad and that her's used to be 100 times worse than mine, but it's like the way I see my face, I know now that because I've examined my face soo much, I will always see that horrible spot and the scars where I've picked and I my confident goes right down when I'm out because I think everyone can see my scars even with makeup on. Makeup is another issue. I am never even satisfied when I put makeup on, because it doesn't look right. My face will look fine for one hour with makeup on, then after than you'll see lines of my makeup coming off and my scars show even more :( ..... I'm trying to just live with it now, but I'm also trying very hard to stop picking my face, by not looking in the mirror at all now.
hermia
March 11, 2009
After 15 years of picking my face, I'm now 31 and have to stop. In this last year, I've started to get terrible red veins and brown spots on my cheeks...I don't think I've seen my nose NOT red in god knows how long. I actually don't know what I really look like anymore. a red face has become normal. Even when I'm "good" (which means picking only a little for a max of 3 days), and I think my skin looks good, people ask me what's wrong with my skin. I have no perspective, and I truly cannot stop. I don't even know what the desire is, besides an overwhelming pleasure of knowing that my pores of clean (even if they are bleeding and scabbing and red). Has anyone ever tried the Dan LeGrand 9 minute miracle video to cure picking? Supposedly you stop picking immediately.
lovanah
March 21, 2009
I totally understand, I've been researching about this issue for a while now and I'm really glad I found this website with this forum with people that have the exactly same problem. I'm not alone, wow. My parents used to nag me about ruining the skin on my face... When I got them to stop it kind of helped. But I never stopped, its been going on for about 2 years now and I really need help... Please mail me, I would really love to get to know someone else who suffers from this and seeks help. I think none of us can make it alone or with the "help" from people who just tell us to stop... Knowing that I'm not alone and that other people understand me is a good start. lovanah@hotmail.co.jp
JENNY1102
March 23, 2009
I too have this same problem. Like many others I do not get many pimples but the blackheads that started on my nose as a teenager have now spread to the sides of my nose on the cheek area, my chin, and occasionally my forhead. I am now 31 and have been dealing with this since about 16. My dad also had the same problem. The only difference between him and I is he dosent pick. Usually every day at the very least every other I come home from work and shower stop at the mirror to brush my hair and then the picking begins. It can last for an hour or more. I will pick every spot I can get at until they bleed and scab. Now I look worse than I did before but I feel a little better. You see my dad dosent pick and his blackheads have gotten so dark they are clearly visible to everyone. I do not want this to happen. My blackheads are very small and that makes it an even bigger ordeal to pick them. I dont know why I do this I just cant help it. I know they are there and I cant stop. Im not sure about anyone else but my very oily nose also dries and peels at the very same time. Is this due to picking? How can you be oily and peeling at the same time?? Now I have a scabby, peeling oily nose, enlarged pores and I still have blackheads. But I still cant stop picking. What is wrong with me. Again most people say they cant see them but I can and I know my husband must and I avoid too close of contact with most people so they cant.
lisa
March 23, 2009
I am so relieved as many that I am not the only one! I started reading everyones blog- and i had to register, guess to just vent and share my experience as well. I am 33, and have been on and off picking for a while- Like most people here it affects all aspects of my life- Imagine this- I am a hair stylist so I have to avoid looking in the mirror with other people- I have spent so many hours picking at my face I would be a millionaire if I got paid 10 cents per minute! I in recent time, ( last year) have graduated to using my cuticle nippers to cut away dry skin, or skin that is still needing to heal- I have red spots all over my face-and the dark ones people complain about as well. I read somewhere on another site that this could be related to being picked on as a child- which is totally true for me- I just wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have this disorder- When I see other people's blackheads I think how gross they should do something about that- then be like me a freak that is 33, without a boyfriend or husband because she is soo freaked about her skin! I don't know if ther is help for me becasueit has gone on for soo long- but if you want to email me pls do at divalisaeve at aol dot com. I went on accutane a long time ago- and for a year had perfect skin- even strangers would say how great my skin was- now i just want to stay at home and sleep when I dont have to work just enough to survive-obviously this is caused so much depression- sometimes i just say screw it people like me for me- but really I am bummed I don't even want to put pictures up on face book because I look so bad....;(
pickAddict
March 31, 2009
(Jessie) .... I'm exactly like you! I'm 21 also, going to be 22 this year though. Only difference between us is, I've been picking my face since I started getting spots, which was at the age of 15 and my face is terribly scarred now. It doesn't look as bad as it used to be when I was at school, but I still look at my face and feel depressed most times. I actually just came out of the bathroom now from picking my face, I was bored and just gradually started looking in the mirror to see if i could get rid of any black heads or small white heads and now my face just looks red all over. I try to do this thing where I set a date on my calendar to see if I can stop picking my face for a month and if do stop throughout the whole month I treat myself to some shoes, but this has only ever happened once. I still can't stop picking and I don't know why. I do feel relieved when I pick my face, but then when I see my face looking red and disgustingly blotchy I feel upset and I try and make myself feel better by covering up where I've picked my face with face mask. It's very silly. My mum says that my face isn't even bad and that her's used to be 100 times worse than mine, but it's like the way I see my face, I know now that because I've examined my face soo much, I will always see that horrible spot and the scars where I've picked and I my confident goes right down when I'm out because I think everyone can see my scars even with makeup on. Makeup is another issue. I am never even satisfied when I put makeup on, because it doesn't look right. My face will look fine for one hour with makeup on, then after than you'll see lines of my makeup coming off and my scars show even more :( ..... I'm trying to just live with it now, but I'm also trying very hard to stop picking my face, by not looking in the mirror at all now.
historykaos
April 02, 2009
in order to stop u have to admit u have a problem (woohoo dont worry i do it too) second we have to research and get an idea of what were dealing with. then we need to understand the condition (by the way it is curable) then together we can work towards stopping and realizing we are only hurting ourselves. its ok
kmad
April 05, 2009
Anyone else out there in their mid-30s? I feel like the sad old lady in this bunch. I never thought I'd still have this problem at this age (I'm 35), thought it was something I could outgrow by now, but I'm still here picking at zits. I have scars now on my chest, shoulders, neck and face. I seek out bumps and seek to make them smooth. I take any perceived imperfection and make it much worse by picking at it. It's an irrational thing, I know; I too go into something of a trance as others here have said. Who knows how much time I've dedicated to this hobby. I can't leave the house now without make-up, which makes it hard to live with someone now (my husband) who will see my naked face. I live in fear that he might see the real me, so I have to worry about being made-up day and night, in the shower, etc. The worst part of this, and I think the reason why I'm finally seeking out information/help on this issue, is I have a new baby daughter. I can't be this sort of mother to her, imparting god-knows-what sort of lessons. I know I have these issues because of a combination of genetics (OCD mom) and environment (mom had an eating disorder, as have I; dad was an overbearing disapproving grouch, life was very hateful in a home full of continual screaming). I also know I have to take control of this issue for myself and stop putting all the blame in the past. I really just never imagined having this issue at this stage in my life and as a new mom. Sure enough, it truly is hard to change. But if I could stop making myself throw up, than I must be able to stop this, yes? For the health of my daughter, I hope so. I want to do better by her.
ashley
April 05, 2009
You're definitely not the oldest person with this problem. My mom also picks at bumps on her face, and she is 50 years old. We always had a very positive household though, so I think it's probably more the habitual OCD of doing it than the things from your past and blame. Congratulations on overcoming the eating disorder. That's a real challenge, and I think if you can do that then you probably have more strength than you realize. You also have the motivation of being the best mother you can be. I wish you the best!

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