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Hello, I admit it. I am 100% addicted to picking my skin. I’ve never spoke of this to anyone, I keep it hidden- it’s my deepest darkest secret. I debated several times posting this for fear that it’ll somehow get traced back to me. I am however getting off my chest the things I’ve kept a secret and although anonymous, it’s my first step. I’ve never known anyone else with this problem nor can I recall seeing an individual with a face similar to mine, appearing picked. This problem tops my list of embarrassing issues and therefore kept it solely to myself. To humiliated to even tell my own dad who’s a doctor and is use to my private/embarrassing issues. I’ve tried to journal, but couldn’t put it on paper for fear that it would be found. All of you who have posted are the first people I can relate to. Thank you for allowing me the comfort to get my story off my chest. I’ve always picked at my skin, however the past 2 years done it very compulsively to a great extent. I first learned compulsive behavior and ways to hide it from others when I became obsessed w/ tweezing pubic/leg hairs. I’d waste hours doing this only to end up with swollen red bumps/scabs that I’d explain to my boyfriend as “razor burn” from cheap razors. I’m not sure why/how I switched from tweezing to compulsively picking at my face. I now constantly am touching and picking my face from morning till dawn throughout all my daily activities. It serves as a bad habit, occupies me when driving, studying, ect. and is incredibly enjoyable that my half hour study breaks I take I spend infront of a mirror picking my skin which never stops at a half hour. I’ll begin picking at individual pores which end up large, swollen, open wound/scabs the size of a dime to a quarter that never heal bc I keep picking. It gets infected, grows larger and eventually becomes permanent dark scars and indentions on my face. In addition to this I’ve picked up another addicting habit of plucking my facial hairs (not like dark chin hairs but the fine light hair that covers your face) bc I think the hairs root has oil/bacteria that’s bad for my skin. Then, I think I can see stuff that is clogging my pores and pluck them individually which leads to me just plucking off skin and causing large abrasions on my face. I don’t understand why I continue to think im “fixing” my skin when everytime I end up looking far far worse. 2 years ago I had very average skin and any breakouts makeup could easily hide. Now my face is covered with large swollen scabs, scars, discolorations and indentions I’ve been hurtfully referred to as “craters”. There’s been 1 time I was motivated enough to stop and lasted 3 days. What motivated me leads me to a question/topic I would like to hear others opinions on: Although I have never talked about picking my skin with family, boyfriend or best friend, do you think they are aware of it? I have always assumed that others see my face as a bad type of acne (as I saw it too and bought every acne product although really I do it to myself). However there was one specific day that I smoked marijuana (which I normally never do) and at some point after looking in a mirror I had a jaw dropping realization. At that moment It was suddenly clear to me that ppl close in my life that see me daily and with out make up, must know that I pick at my skin. They can probably tell by just looking at me and also probably notice how my skin changes drastically in 1 day that I heavily picked (unlike normal acne that comes gradually and doesn’t normally appear overnight as large scabs as my picking does). In that moment I realized for the first time that others could probably tell what I’m doing. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated that I did not touch my skin for 3 days, which has been the longest ive gone. I’ve gone back to my ignorant thinking ways probably because it enables to pick more. Im curious how you guys see yourself through the eyes of someone else looking at you. This is the first time since then that I’ve consciously avoided picking my skin. I have not picked or plucked today and although I unconsciously touched my hand to face probably about a hundred times today, as soon as I felt my hand touch my face I immediately took it off. I never imagined something like this would be so incredibly hard to stop.