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lvndestin2007 , 04 Jun 2010

Tomorrow Is Day One For Me...

Where do I even start? I'm a compulsive skin picker. Very, very compulsive. And, starting tomorrow, I'm trading the emotional release that my skin picking gives me for better self esteem and healthy, clear skin. I can no longer abuse myself in this manner - I'm choosing to STOP. I'm a 23 year old male, and have been picking both my face and my arms since I was about 12 years old. I remember seeing my mother pick her face, and how I began to do the same myself. At that age, I only had a few noticeable pores on my chin that I would pick. Now, 11 years later, I pick everything on my face - nose, cheeks, chin, jaw line, neck, ears and forehead. I also pick my arms. I sit on my bathroom sink and scour my face for any imperfections - blackheads, white heads, bumps of any sort (most of them are completely invisible to anyone but myself) - and squeeze so hard and for so long until my face is barely recognizeable. I end up looking swollen and red, like I've just been stung by a hive of bees. I pick some of my blemishes so badly that a tiny blackhead the size of a pinhead can turn into a sore the size of a dime. My picking sessions usually last between 30 minutes and 2 hours. When I pick, I'm in a complete trance - going from one imperfection to the next for hours. It's not until I finish picking, and back away from the mirror, that I can see the complete picture of my damaged face. It's been so bad that I've called in to work on several occasions - and completely avoided leaving my house, to avoid the embarrassment of everyone staring at my face. I also pick my arms - so badly sometimes that it looks like I have the measles. Last night, I picked both my face and arms until close to 1 in the morning. Before my shower this morning, I shaved my face, and began picking again for another 20 minutes. My face looks terrible, and I had to go into the office today or my boss would have chewed my butt. It's supposed to be 90 degrees today, but I had to wear long sleeves to cover up my arms. Thus far today, I've remained in my office and completely avoided looking at anyone in hopes that no one will notice my face (though I'm sure they already have). I can't keep doing this - something as crazy as obsessive picking is ruining my life. So... Tomorrow starts day one (yes, I've been here before). The longest I've ever made it without picking was a measly 7 days - but I'm starting over. I have to do it for myself. I've been doing alot of research to prepare myself (, and I'm ready to try again. Living like this is miserable and I cannot continue abusing myself...
4 Answers
June 04, 2010
I just found the website you noted yesterday and barely started reading it. I need too. I've been having trouble wanting to sleep and eat so I am a little brain-dead and reading is difficult for me anyway (focus, not literacy). BUT I HAVE TO READ IT...I'm over 10 years older than you and it's just gotten crazy. I know the "trance" you speak of. 7 days is a huge accomplishment by the way! I've gone 1 day before, if that. Keep us posted. I added my story here yesterday. be well ■ ~why me (whyyou? whyanyofus?)
June 04, 2010

In reply to by whyme

Definitely visit the website and read it when you have time - it has alot of good information that I haven't found anywhere else. I'm going to do my best to login daily with a quick update. Please do the same! We'll cheer each other on! :o) ~Wade
June 04, 2010
it's fabulous that you are quitting !! 7 days is not a measly accomplishment !! if you can do that once you can again and every 7 days with no picking is better than 7 days with picking. keep strong, keep researching, keep resolved, i believe you can do it !! and many thx for your kind words in my 100 days post. i wish you the same success. ☺

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