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erin , 13 May 2008

has anyone here ever...

has anyone here ever picked at their butt cheeks/ upper thighs? I am 20 and have been picking since I was about 5 years old, and I've been very fortunate in that I have the most amazing mother in the world, and we learned what my disorder was very early... when I was about 10. But I still pick worse now than I ever have in my life. And the butt cheeks thing is a newer development- like in the last 5 years. It makes me truly feel like a disgusting freak and it took me this many years to find the courage to anonymously post it here! I think it's because it's an area that is hidden, and that doesn't hurt as much. However, even though it's a "hidden" area, I'm incredibly jealous of normal people who are comfortable being naked in front of others. At this point in my life I don't believe I could ever let someone else see me naked. Not a boyfriend, not a doctor, not my mom. They would be truly horrified. Is there anyone else who has a butt (as well as the rest of their body) covered in scars?
5 Answers
May 15, 2008
Hi Erin, Most common areas of body affected by picking are face, scalp and arm/legs. Everyone picks at a different place, and how this place is "chosen" is unclear. Most people don't pick at one body area only, but at a few. What you describe isn't as uncommon as you might think.
May 21, 2008
Erin you are not alone. I am 22 years old and have been picking since I was 12 years old. I started on my face and the past few years have started picking my butt cheeks and upper thighs and my scalp. The butt cheeks are probably the best place to pick because we don't always show off our bums but then it ruins our confidence in relationships, wearing swim wear etc. I went to a cognitive therapist over a year ago and she really helped me. I still pick but not as much as I did and feel a lot more in control. There isn't a cure for this, you just got to find a way of being in control. Have you been to the doctor about this?
May 28, 2008
I have picked there before, but my main areas are my cuticles, arms, back, and face. I belive in you, Erin. You can beat this dermatillomania once and for all. -Sara
June 26, 2008
Erin I think to be honest, most people in the world have picked at their butt cheeks at one point in time. Maybe they had a zit, or a bite or just a bad itch. So please don't feel so alone. The fact that you do it more often doesn't make it more disgusting. I have done it before, but usually I pick at my legs and my arms and sometimes my chest. I have a really loving supportive boyfriend, who I met after I had started, and he is very understanding. Back when I met him I was going through a better phase and only did my arms very seldom. Since my mum get cancer I pick much more. I know just what you mean about feeling embarressed and not wanting to be naked in front of anyone, but if someone loves you they will be accepting. There are lots of people with scars and burns and birthmarks and even deformations. Theres even a man with 2 penis's! Nobody looks perfect naked and everyone knows it. I'm sure that those who care about you, your family and your friends, wouldnt think any less of you as a person, they would probably be worried and concerned. Just think how you would react if you found out someone you cared about was hurting themselves. Good luck and try not to be too hard on yourself
July 21, 2008
I'm 18 and I pick my legs and arms the majority of the time. However, I only pick where a scab, pimple, or bugbite develops, so if there were a scab to develop on my stomach or butt, I'd pick there too. I have tons of scars not only from my picking, but from past self-mutilation. I've struggled with being naked in front of others, especially my boyfriend of 3 years. Even if he's not looking, I'll cover my legs because I'm just so paranoid that he'll think I'm ugly or disgusting. Trust me... I can empathize. The majority of the time, I feel so ugly and freakish. I know that jealousy too. When you're a teenager, you're supposed to have a nice body and wear mini skirts and halter tops, and feel good wearing a bathing suit. I can't tell you how envious I am of other girls who wear skirts, shorts, and even capris. All I can say is that my boyfriend has never once said anything derogatory towards my scars. He encourages me to refrain from picking, but besides that he acts as if I'm just like any normal person. You'd be surprised if you opened up to someone. It's a huge risk, but the payoff is tremendous.

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