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lepeep , 21 Jun 2010

Step 5 - listing consequences to my skin picking

I made a list of the consequences I have experienced through the years as a result of my skin picking. As part of a 12 step program I am really supposed to read these aloud to a real person, but I thought I could start out by sharing the list with the forum: 1. I have blood stains on tee shirts from picking acne on my body to the point of bleeding. 2. I have wasted hours of my life, either picking my skin in front of the bathroom mirror or in my bedroom 3. I consistently feel self conscious or disappointed in my behavior when I undress and notice the excessive scaring all over my body 4. I rarely wear tank tops or spaghetti strap dresses 5. I feel embarrassed at formal events or weddings when I wear dresses that show my back or chest 6. I have had friends and boyfriends ask about my scars and have felt awkward and hypersensitive about the situation 7. Over the years, the picking and resulting scaring has spread to more parts of my body. 8. When I was 15, I was visiting a relative who noticed me picking my face in the mirror and told other family members about it. I felt embarrassed. 9. I generally feel like my disorder limits my freedom. I don't allow myself to wear what I want and I often feel like a prisoner to my skin 10.I don't allow myself to feel beautiful or accepted because I view my scars as an unsightly flaw 11. I often feel a lack of control over my body and my actions Thank you for reading my list. Making the list was a good exercise in understanding how much of my life and self esteem are affected by my picking and scars. Any insights or comments are appreciated!
4 Answers
June 27, 2010
Good job on this! I'm proud of you for getting to step 5, and feeling open enough to share this. Honestly, this sounds like a mirror of my own consequences. Keep going, we believe in you!
June 28, 2010
Hey, I see a lot of my own problems and consequences in your list. It is SO hard, and the shitty part is, you wouldn't have the problem if you never had acne, right? Thats how I feel anyways... If there was a magical cure for blemishes, no price would be too high. Fortunately for me, the only scars are very light on my shoulders and chest. My face seems to be resilient, but I know it won't last long :-( I pray for you and your journey to stop the picking. Its so hard. I haven't even begun mine. Good luck!
June 29, 2010
Wow, your list made me emotional! You are not alone and I guess neither am I. Thank you for posting the list. I just wanted to add for some other people who posted... this has nothing to do with having acne... it is just a venue of expression, if not skin it would have been something else like hair or nails. My skin would be just great if I didn't pick at it or just let things heal on their own, I just aggravate it and make it worse like a lot of us do. Thank you for sharing... I look forward to hearing more good things on your progress!
July 05, 2010

In reply to by Sporadic88

So true about picking not being about acne. I used to have perfect clear skin and have never had an acne problem. I never had a breakout on my face. People used to complement me on my skin. Then I started to pick at my face but still don't have an acne problem. I don't even really get pimples. i just see "dirt" in my pores. It started with a few clogged pores on my nose and took off from there. No my nose is endlessly red and inflamed and flaky. I wish I could go back to the skin I used to have prior to picking and am afraid what the long term consequences of my picking are. I'm only 25 and have become fearful of wrinkles.

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