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mathersmyhero , 06 Jul 2010

All my life. Age 17. Need a friend.

For just about as long as I can remember, I have been picking. I am 17 years old. I will squeeze anything that I think will yield an excretion. For so many years I have been stuck in this. I pick my face, arms, legs, and chest. There are only 2 people who know about this, one I told because he's one of my closest friends and the other is a friend I met through To Write Love On Her Arms and he has CSP too. I am bipolar and have dealt with this since I was 13 or 14. There have been times when I have been so desperate for help but too ashamed to admit to my picking because it's such a weird thing, I thought, that whomever I told would never think of me the same again. In these situations I will say I am a self mutilator, and let them assume what they want about the details of my mutilation. I guess they just assume I cut, which I have never actually done. I have spent my entire life practically being ashamed of my CSP. I wear tons of coverup, and only recently started to wear shorts because I don't want anyone to notice the scars on my legs. I will go into the bathroom to simply use the toilet and end up staying there for dreadfully long, either sitting there and picking my arms and legs or standing in the mirror picking my face. I've been walked in on and scared out of my mind because I'm in such a trance when I'm picking. I pick when I am very upset or right before bed because it calms me down. I spend at least an hour a day picking. I just want help. Comfort. If anyone has msn/windows live messenger, please let me know? I need someone to talk to you know? :) I'm a 17 yo female by the way.
20 Answers
July 06, 2010
Forgot to mention that literally the only time I am at peace and not wanting to pick or feeling the urge is listening to Eminem or My Chemical Romance. I wish I could listen to them nonstop but I can't... I get very fixated on them because they are my only salvations. I am teased for my "obsession" with them but it's not that, it's that they're my only peace. Was wondering if anyone else has a thong like this, their only peace...
July 06, 2010

In reply to by mathersmyhero

Hi, I'm Jess. I don't have CSP, but I do have Keratosis Pilaris, and I constantly pick at my skin because I hate the bumps and am also ashamed of them. A lot of the time, I do feel like you (And MCR rocks!) and I wouldn't mind being your friend. ^___^ (I'm 16, btw, so I'm not so pedocreep.)
July 06, 2010
Well Im 15 and Like you I do the same thing. I pick everywhere, name a spot, I pick there. I absolutely love Mcr and have found they help me feel more expressive in other ways instead of picking. I too can be a helping hand if you want me too. You're defiantly not in this alone. So don't ever think so <3
July 06, 2010
I am a 28 year old female, and have been picking my entire life - I have kept it well hidden for most of my life - i didn't realize it was something that was considered a disease or an issue. My entire body is covered in scars and still i pick pick pick. I have a very hard time staying still - when i'm bored, i pick. (and doing it now, as i type this). I need help and comfort as well. Would you like another comfort buddy? I'd be happy to help out if at all possible. Sarah
July 06, 2010
I'm 17 too, I pick continuously. I just looked this up about 10 minutes ago, and have been reading through everything, I had no idea it was a serious problem. But I have very similar issues. If you need someone to talk to I'm here.
July 06, 2010
omg, Im 17 too. Female, just graduated from high school. I feel like crying reading this, because so often i feel like i am such a freak and i should just be normal. I have slight KP on my arms and legs, but because I can't stop picking/squeezing them, it has gotten worse. I also have a moderate case of ADD, which i am medicated for, but what matters is,you are not alone. I havent worn shorts since the end of my freshman year, and only for short peiods of remission from my picking can i wear sleeveless shirts and tank tops. My name is Rachel, and you definitely have a friend in me.
July 10, 2010
I'm 17 too so this caught my attention...i had searched my problem before buy i hadn't come across this site before..and im ready all this and im so glad to see that I'm not the only one. I've been picking for about 3 or 4 years and its the worst on my arms, chest and back...i dont rly think its kp and idk what csp is, so plz if someone can tell me...ugh the worst thing for me is not being able to wear things that are sleaveless or too v-cut...and its summer so my friends want to go to the beach or pool but im to embarassed about it to go with them...but i have no idea where to start with curing this...
Lara Coimbra
July 12, 2010
I'm 16 and my pedagogue says that any disturb gets worse on teenage years... of course i don't feel good with this thing that i have but, i'm tired of hiding this problem i told about my picking to few people in the family and some friends...
July 13, 2010
Oh my goodness! I can totally relate to you guys. I'm a 26 yr old female. I have been picking my skin....mostly my face for years ever since I was 16. I have tons of scars on me as a result. I just today realized I have an addiction but don't know where it stems from. Its a lonely place to feel like no one understands and in the mean time I cover it up. Mostly with foundation but I notice its not covering my scars the way it used to. I need help. I can't take pictures because I see in the picture what I've done to myself over the years and I hate it. I love myself as a person but I hate how ugly my picking has made me over the years.(If that makes any sense) If anyone wants to talk I'm the person to talk to....Let me know what you think.
July 19, 2010

In reply to by butterflytears01

You hit the nail on the head. I've got the SAME thing going on.... it's a real struggle.. But after reading your post, you said it best. I know exactly what your experiencing. I've been face picking from age 17 to current, age 24. Such damage.. the scars.. the makeup... the dreading of pictures now... I wish you were my neighbor so we could fight this monster together. Ha. Keep trying to overcome, I will keep trying too.... - Brenda
July 13, 2010
my heart goes out to you young people posting your anxieties and heartache regarding this insidious compulsion ... i sincerely hope you find success reaching out to each other for support ... support is very important indeed ... i hope though that you also see your own responsibility with regards to taking the necessary steps to conquer it ... talking about it is very important but you must also talk about it with your health care professional(s) and perhaps even counselors or therapists to address your anxieties and issues that might be contributing toward your behaviours ... please also read as much as you can about it and take serious action about changing your behaviours using all the tactics and information and advice that you can ... be very determined about it ... realize it isn't going to be easy (very little is, except for succumbing to the compulsion) and it will take a lot of time and constant vigil ... make the commitment now to get your behaviours under control .... the sooner the better .... i know !! .... i don't want you to be me decades down the road still dealing with it ... and trust me, you will unless you take matters into your hands now ... it is very unlikely to go away on it's own ... you must realize though, as much as you wish to seek help elsewhere, most of it is up to you, yourself, to beat it ... there is no magic bullet out there, but combining a plan out of the information you can now gather, together with support and advice from doctors and counselors and friends, you can do it !! ... you have your age on your side and your skin's resilience to do so .... be strong !! ... be determined !! ... be committed ... love yourself and resolve to do no more harm to yourself ... think to the future ... one of healed skin .... my best wishes are sent to you for much success ... ♥♥♥
July 18, 2010
Hey, I'm 21 years old & I have also been picking for as long as I can remember. People noticed it throughout high school and even asked me about it straight forward. There is no explanation, I hate it! I completely understand what you're saying about going to the bathroom and staying there just to pick without anyone seeing. All my spots start out as bug bites or scratches from playing with my cats or even acne.. but I always make them 100 times worse by picking the scabs, and they tend to last for months... My parents and best friends often tell me to stop picking especially if its on my face! Which creates this awful guilt because its not something I like to do, its uncontrollable! Recently this problem has gotten worse with the stress of college. I have social anxiety and panic attacks that are only alleviated through picking. I have a bad feeling it's got to do with body image and insecurities. I've always had plenty of friends and boyfriends... I've been in beauty pageants and have never thought of myself as ugly or hideous but there's always someone making fun of my freckles, or how tall I am or just anything at all. I've always been overly sensitive to being teased and this disorder does not help! It makes me feel better to know that other girls out there have this embarrassing problem too! Hopefully my testimony can help someone else, this is something I would never have the courage to talk about openly with people who don't understand. --M
July 22, 2010
im 14 and have been picking since my mom left me when i was 2 i have been abused since then my name is adonis (the greeek god of beauty) but people call me the greek god of ugly i have no friends and im all alone please help me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 23, 2010
I started picking when my friend Chelsea started. She stopped, I didn't. That was almost 5 YEARS AGO. I am an aspiring actress/model/singer/dancer and I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of scarring! I am SO scared. I go through periods when I stop for a duration of time (and the ointment I got from the dermatologist was incredible), but something starts me up again. Please message me if you'd like to talk.

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