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herrellia , 27 Jul 2010

what i descovered about myself.

when i went to my college counselor a week ago my mother just had to bring up my anixiety towards testing. ever since i was 10 the state always put so much preasure on the principals and teachers so that the students would be "exemplary" when it came to the test scores of us. for years the beat it over the heads of the kids which can in turn be very stressful to students who were told that they would not pass the grade they are in and would be put in remedial classes the following year due to their failier. we were stuck in a classroom for several hours not allowed to talk or get up even for luch time. the food was brought to us and about 20+ of us are still stuck in that small ass room till very kid was done. once this was out in the open i startd to cry and i noticed my hand go to my head to pick. the counselor then told me my anxiety may come from the feeling of being trapped and over whelemed. over whelemed to the point of me breaking down crying in class banging my head on the desk wanting it all to be over. i fear for my college future. mainly because if i dont stop ill probably litterally pull my hair out, or if i dont skin pick ill find another outlet to deal with this. i hate skin picking, its disgusting, and i hate how i have to cover up my scabs and scars.

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