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im perfectionist , 14 Aug 2010

Stress Picking

It's 6 am in the morning, and I haven't slept the past three nights... I'm new as in a few minutes, but I never realized how much of a problem I have until I looked at this forum. I spent the last three hours totally destroying my face. I couldn't stop myself, armed with nothing more than my nails and a small metal instrument, I scoured every millimeter of my face looking for all the tiniest of imperfections. Oh! and it wasn't just my face no; it was my face, my chest, my legs. Every time I plucked, picked, or gouged made me feel just a little better. I couldn't stop myself I was on fire, it was a picking fantasy! Yes, it felt good when I did it, but I was so ashamed after I did it I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. As I write this my face radiates heat from the sores on my body. I'm not sure I will be able to look at myself for some time after this. Whats worse is that tomorrow I will have to look my poor mother in the face and show her the damage... The stress release is what I crave, but the psychological damage will rip and hack at my self esteem... well whats left of it. Sorry, i'm off to a morbid start. My venting is over so i'm going to bed. Hopefully I won't dream tonight.
3 Answers
August 15, 2010
Dont feel alone, I know exactly how you feel. Especially about your mother, mine caught me doing it once and she looked at me like i was freak. She is alway saying you have such beautiful skin why do you destroy it. Like i have a choice??? I am sitting here too with my face hot and uncomfortable after me first morning pick. I then took my instruments of pain - ie tweezers - and hid them from myself. it will probably last a few hours. i just wish i knew why i did it!!!!!! not only that but also how the hell to stop. i am sick of spending all weekend in doors because i am too ashamed to go outside.
August 17, 2010

In reply to by mini

I actually feel embarrassed about my skin picking too. I have scars all over my legs, my back, shoulders and even a scar on my face. Like I was telling another poster it is a form of OCD and anxiety. I know for me I do it when I'm bored, anxious, scared and even when I'm upset. It's like a form of self mutilation. I just picked a sore that was already healing and picked it open again. Crazy. I am going to try to get some help for this through cognitive behavioral therapy. I have heard and read about this on the Internet. I have been picking ever since I can remember. Last year I went on vacation to tenessee and got bit by Mosquitos. I itches them for six months straight and didn't let them heal. I still have the scars to prove it.
August 20, 2010
I find that stress is a typical trigger. The more stress the more likely I am to pick and eat. I also found that Brawnswagger (spelling?) seems to reduce the urge. If I have a sandwich of it two days in a row, then the urge seems to go away. I also found that chicken liver pata does the same. I am not humgy for liver very often (2-3) times a year. I also find that the sence of tightness arould a scap. It fells good to releave the "pulling". Oh well, there you have it.

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