Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

individually_sound , 17 Aug 2010

New to site, never formally diagnosed

Hey there. My name's Aileen. I've been picking longer than I can possibly care to remember. I focus mainly around my fingers but I also am a habitual scab picker. I kind of diagnosed myself with the disorder after coming across it online about a month ago. I read about it an noticed that I shared many of the same characteristics people that have been diagnosed with dermatillomania such as the fact that many people feel relieved when they pick their skin since that is the main reason I do it, and the fact that one can do it subconsiously. I also continuously pick in the hopes to correct the damage I've done, but I usually just make it worse... It's been pretty rough since I confronted my mother about ithe disorder. She had urged me to stop picking for a long time and I told her that I physically could not do it. She is a habitual picker herself but dosen't recognize it for what it is. My mother continues to yell at me about, which only stresses me out more and makes me want to pick.... She says if I know what my problem is I should be able to stop it. She also says that if I truly have a "mental disorder" that my life wil be ruined. I have self-image issues and am very embarassed about my picking. I will never forget the day my now-boyfriend say my hands and held them up and asked what I did to myself. I want to seek more professional help but am afraid of psychaitrists and am against taking medications...I also don't want to be prevented from living a normal life because of a diagnosis. Does anyone have any advice as to what to do about my mother? I want her to accept that I may have this disorder and seek help for it as well. Also, what advice does anyone have about getting more formally diagnosed?
7 Answers
August 21, 2010
My family are the same. It is hard for people to understand why would purposefully inflict pain on ourselves. Unfortunately they cannot see that its not painful, its like a relief! I would show her this website, or others like her and try and help her understand its a condition. I have never been formally diagnosed either as its such a source of shame for me =/ If I were you I would see a counsellor and explain it to them, however they may not understand as it is not a very well known condition. I'm sorry i can't give you more info, I'm not fully aware of all treatment available Good luck! -amber
August 21, 2010
i feel for you. my mother is the same way and my husband yells at me all the time because of the way that i look. i try to explain that i really dont want to do it and he just blows off what i say and remains convinced that i can just stop if i make the descision to. but i have made the descision to stop, many times. i wish that i could offer some real advice but what can i say when i am going through the same thing. i have been on this site several times before, every time i was too scared to actually say something. its as if i was in denial that i actually have this problem. im hoping that by being involved i will feel as empowered as i do now and continue to supress my urges. good luck to you and to everyone else who reads this
August 28, 2010

In reply to by sosickandtired

Same here. If I showed my husband this site to share he'd just say, "so what? DOOOOO something about it." And that would be that. He doesn't give a hoot as to why I (or anyone) behave the way we do. To him it's as simple as, "just stop it." This wouldn't elicit any type of compassion or understanding. He'd view it the same if I showed him a forum about making grilled cheese sandwiches on the George Foreman grill. He'd be like, "yeah? And your point?" He could care less why, or anything about the emotional attachment. His primary directive, passively, is to criticize and judge and not get it (or care if he "gets it" really). He'd probably point out I could find a support group for swim flipper addicts if I wanted to, none of it really means anything. The only thing with validity is the actions of stopping the behavior. And let's face it, that's what our public wants too, family, friends, work, school. They could care less "why" we do it, they just want that end result to be the cessation of this bad behavioral problem.
September 23, 2010
Hey there. My family is awful too, especially my mom. She simply thinks that it's very conveniant for me to "make up" this disorder, so I wouldn't have to get a job, go out and have a normal social life. We used to have these constant terrible fights when my parents cought me picking at my face or saw the results after. They kept yelling at me and called me names using every disgusting word they knew to describe what they thought of me and my appearance. They've broken my heart a thousand times and I'm not sure if I ever be able to forgive them............................................................................................................................................................I was hospitalized twice and was diagnozed with ocd the first time I ended up in hospital. Hospital was my mom's idea of course. But I was in a pretty bad shape at that time so I guess my folks didn't really have a choice and they made so much pressure that I had to say "yes". What I've learnt during this experience is that meds alone will never solve your problems. Medication is like a walking stick for someone with an injured leg - will help you walk, but sure will not heal your leg. During 4 years of picking I've tried many doctors and many ways. Will power never worked for me. Therapy has worked best so far. However I had to try out 4 or 5 therapists until I found someone who really got me and was (still is) able to help. I've been in a therapy for 2 years now and I can see some improvement... You shouldn't be afraid to go to psychiatrists or other specialists. I think it's very important to seek for professional help in order to speed up your recovery. Just remember that they can't make you start taking meds or do anything else. The decision is yours to make, but after a few consultations with therapists or psychiatrists you would at least know your options........................................................................................................................................................And try not to let your mom or bf humiliate you. I personally feel much better after I've started to stand up for myself. I used to feel all usless and hopless and not worth anything 'cause my parents wanted me to feel this way. But the truth is that ocd is just like any other illness no matter what other people may think. It took quite a while for me to understand this and therapy helped there a great deal... Just don't give up :) Good luck to you all!
September 23, 2010
Hi, I'm new to the site too and just found out in the last week that this is a disorder although I think I've known deep down for a long time. I have other health problems and I'm used to not being taken seriously about things so I never addressed this at all, but I've been picking for a very long time now. I think it started with my scalp and nails when I was a child. Now I'm 32 and I pick everywhere I can reach (and I'm pretty flexible). I've been noticing reading all these posts that there seems to be a common thread of people close to us blaming us and treating us very badly for doing this. I don't know if anyone else has this experience too, but I get this kind of treatment a lot over physical illnesses or injuries that I've had than the picking now. I'm pretty good at hiding the picking (practice makes perfect), but have been guilted and called a liar accused of faking about infections I've had a lot. As an example (out of many), when I had pneumonia for months and almost died, not only did my husband refuse to take care of me, but from him and his parents and even some of my family, I heard things like "oh you're just always sick" in a very accusatory tone and got grilled about did you do this or that as if I'm intentionally causing myself to be ill. I used to get yelled at more for picking and still do sometimes, but I think for the most part people have given up and until last week, I thought I had a skin condition that I used to explain it, but I've noticed that other people have bumps too and don't seem to care like I do. Anyway, sorry for the rambling - finally I'll get to the point. It occurs to me that perhaps if we could figure out why we let the people closest to us treat us this way, we might at the same time find a way to stop this behavior in us. It seems to be connected. It is not normal to yell at someone you love for suffering and I'm betting that most of you like me, would never dream of doing so. We are the people that have to be there for everyone else, take all their crap and if they have a problem, we try like hell to help them or find someone who can. We don't just yell, ridicule and guilt them for their suffering, yet this is exactly what we accept from them. The other common thread I've seen is that many feel that we can't express our true emotions and are used to having those ridiculed or punished as well as if we're supposed to be robots. There seems to be a parallel between the way we treat ourselves and the way we allow the people we love to treat us. Picking or not, sick or well, we are human beings and deserve to be treated as such. The appropriate thing to do with a sick person you love is to help them, but we seem to choose people that are not capable of this. Not sure if this helps anyone, but know this. No matter what anyone says to you, you know the truth about the amount of control you currently have over this. All else is lies and even if they are out of ignorance (but I'd say it's usually narcissism) they are still lies and the only thing that kills lies is truth. I say currently because the person I'm becoming has perfectly clear skin without any self inflicted bloody spots and doesn't take this kind of crap from anyone no matter how important they are to me. Maybe if we start speaking truth to ourselves and find a way to quit putting up with peoples crap, the picking would go away being a symptom of what we allow others to do to us with words and then do to ourselves by replaying the words. I'm not a doctor and this is really just wild speculation but looking at my rather long history and the accounts here it seems plausible. So here is some truth to speak to their lies (I know some people have issues with religion, and I don't mean to offend, but some of the most useful truths I've found have come from the Bible so bear with the references to God). 1. You are the pinnacle of all creation made in the very image of God 2. You are beautiful regardless of your current physical appearance (wounds do heal) 3. You are important and there is a great plan for your life even you can't see it right now 4. You are not making anything up and you can get help for your problem with or without the support of those closest to you 5. You are a son or daughter of the King even if you don't know Him yet and DO NOT deserve to be treated in this way 6. You really can do anything - you just might not have found the method that fits you or the right support in your struggle 7. It is a huge weight you carry now so just like lifting in the physical, when you are able to set that weight down you will be incredibly strong 8. You are loved and accepted by someone exactly as you are 9. You do not have to be perfect 10. You are entitled to your feelings and do not have to punish yourself for them as others most likely do I plan to enter therapy or something to try first to find out why and stop the behavior of surrounding myself with people that can't or won't support me in anything (even matters of life and death) and verbally abuse me as well as the extreme and frightening anger that I don't feel free to or have appropriate ways to express. Of course, I'll mention the picking, but I think if I can get over being an angry doormat, that will become easier to deal with. Just an idea I'm going to try - hope maybe it helps someone.
December 18, 2010
I get this too. My mom will always comment when she sees I have picked my face and my broher often comments when he sees I've picked my KP on my arms. I tried to tell my mom that I have this disorder and she brushed it off, saying that things like this are super common. This drove me to pick even more. It's a continuous cycle for me. Pick, feel bad, want to pick more to calm the bad feelings. Where does the cycle end??
November 08, 2011
Shoes by Style Grape-100% Genuine Boots; Hand-crafted from durable cowhide the boots have fox fur on the legs with wool lining for additional.Except for the features mentioned above ,there are some other characters of the Shoes by Color.

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now