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Firefly , 24 Aug 2010

Hi, I am new....

I broke this into paragraphs but it posts as one big block. I apologize in advance and thank you for reading. I am 28 years old and have been picking for as long as I can remember. It's been a huge source of shame for me. I also have anxiety and I've been on paraxotine (paxil) for almost a year and a half now. It's helped a lot. I pick probably 50% less than I used to and I don't get as many panic attacks. It took me a year at my current doctor to discuss my problems. She doesn't know I pick my feet, though. I want to raise my medication but it's caused a 25lb weight gain and that also has been difficult for me to deal with. I pick my fingers (cuticles), toes, soles of my feet, scalp, teeth, lips, nose, ears and other areas. I do not bite my nails, however and I paint them and keep them short. I pick with my nails or pieces of paper I fold into tiny pointed tools. I also use nail clippers and anything else that helps peel or pick--I've used knives, sticks, etc. I pick until I bleed. Until I am so sore I can't hold a pen or walk normally. I go through times where my picking lessens but then it gets bad again. I pick my feet a lot less in the colder months when I wear socks. My fingers actually look half decent right now because I got engaged and I am trying to make my hands look nice for my wedding day--which is over a year away. I get a feeling of relief when I get a big piece of skin from my heel. I look constantly for imperfections on my fingers and feel good when I "get rid of it." I love finding scabs on my scalp. I also pick my nose and I get the same feeling when I pick a crusty piece of mucus out. On top of all of that, I usually eat what I pick. I've read a few other posts that discuss this and it makes me feel sick about my own habits. I am shocked that I am not alone. Yes, I've eaten vaginal discharge and felt "high" from doing so. It's something I know must be wrong but I can't stop and I don't know why I do other than to perhaps relieve "something." I am sure people must know what I do. My boyfriend teases me about picking my nose but is on my case about picking my fingers or feet. My feet were a big secret but he found out and will yell at me to stop if he catches me. I've told one of my close friends about it and she also tells me to stop if she catches me. I stop but the minute they stop looking, I go back to it with a vengeance. My mother used to bite her nails and pick her upper arms. I will pick at scabs but luckily I keep most of it hidden. My legs and arms look fine. I really try to not pick at my face and I've done well with that because there are other areas that are more tempting. I am glad I am not alone. At my next appointment I plan on telling my doctor about my feet. I think it might be time to get into therapy along with the medication. Thanks for listening.
2 Answers
August 24, 2010
Only thing we dont have in common is eating vaginal discharge and Ive never been diagnosed with an underlying disorder such as anxiety ,but I'm almost exactly the same way in every other case. Welcome to the site you'll find very good support here :)
August 25, 2010
Hi I'm new here to. I severely pick my scalp until it bleeds and scabs. Then I pick and it scabs it's a vicious cycle. It's mortifying. I fear that I may start picking other parts of my body. I wish you the best of luck with you're skin picking :). You are not alone.

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